Friday
November 14, 1997
St Kilda East

It's a hard thing to realise that you're alone. Those times when you need other people to help, to assist, to be there, always come when you're at your lowest. The times when you're well and healthy and your mind is strong and resillient, you welcome people in your life but the need is less pressing.

Two nights ago, after the most horrendous day at work, I had to go to hospital for the removal of a cyst. As the situation escalated, and I refused to see a doctor about it, once I finally did there was nothing she could do and she sent me to the emergency department of a women's hospital. There they removed the cyst and I stayed in overnight. It was at that time that I really needed some of my friends to pull in close and help. The one that I counted on, wouldn't even speak to me. I went to the hospital alone.

I know I'm feeling sorry for myself. But I'm feeling weak and a lot alone. Not lonely, just alone and adrift. I know that friendships require careful maintenance, and honesty but it has to come from all sides.

I am whingeing. It's quite unbecomming, and very unproductive. But shit they cut me open again.

I've been keeping this journal for 1 year, this past Tuesday 11, November 1997. I have my first entry available, but the intervening entries until about Jan/Feb of this year aren't available. I used to have my archive at Angelfire, but they ate it! At which time I lost some of the entries. I had hoped that I could mark the one year milestone by actually getting all the entries up and available. Oh, well, next year perhaps.

In a better mood next time. Or I won't write.

� � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � � �
For my Listening Pleasure
Brad
Interiors