Top Ten Signs You're About To Be Impeached

                 10.
                    When you call to congratulate Mark
                    McGwire, he lets his machine get it. 
                  9.
                    Your press secretary keeps introducing you
                    as "President William Milhous Clinton." 
                  8.
                    You're invited to appear on Jeopardy's
                    "Impeached Presidents Week." 
                  7.
                    Tipper Gore's in your office measuring it for
                    drapes. 
                  6.
                    Even the sluttiest new intern won't give you
                    the time of day. 
                  5.
                    Library of Congress stops letting you sign
                    out books. 
                  4.
                    You walk into the Capitol commissary and
                    500 people simultaneously say, "Shhh! He's
                    here!" 
                  3.
                    Somebody changed the locks on Monica
                    Lewinsky. 
                  2.
                    Suddenly, everyone's kissing Al Gore's big
                    cinder-block ass. 
                  1.
                    Your new Secret Service code name:
                    "Roadkill." 

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