[4/22/2001 1:07:43 PM | Jared Edwards]
By the time Vacuumboy and the rest had reached Progger's bedside, the situation was dire. 
"I'm not going to make it..." said the Progger. 
"That's no way to talk," said Murray. "You'll pull through. The Hunter will pull through. Wherever Stallio is, he'll pull through, too." 
"No," replied the Progger. "I want you to kill me now." 
"Why?" asked Vacuumboy. 
"Because if you wait too long, whatever is making me sick might be absorbed completely or excreted away (Quiet Girl's nose twitched a little at the word "excreted"). If you kill me now, I can do an autopsy and maybe find something..." 
Meanwhile, in the realm of the Fae, other drastic measures were being considered...

[4/24/2001 2:58:28 PM | stAllio! nGsta]
"the reason we brought you here," the seelie doctor said to chet, "is because we might need to run some tests on you." 
"but i'm not sick..." 
"perhaps not. however it appears that whoever put this hex on stAllio! has done a masterful job at hiding his tracks. most of our tests are coming back inconclusive, & the results from the ones that don't only raise more questions. we have a few more tests to run, but it seems that this hexor is very skilled." 
"so what does that have to do with me?" 
"we have reason to suspect that you might have drank the same things stAllio! did. if in fact that is the case, then we hope that running the tests on you will shed some more light on exactly what's wrong. the potion would most likely not have the same effect on you than on him. furthermore, because you are not a magical creature by nature, any remnants of the potion itself should by contrast show up much better in your system... there won't be as much interference. however..." 
"oh, i hate howevers..." 
"however, it has been millennia since any of our men got to perform in-depth analyses on humans. so there could be some... potential side effects from the testing... that we can't predict." 
"you mean like i could die?" 
"that is one possible contingency. that or potentially worse." 
chet recoiled in fear. "worse?!? is this really necessary? how do you know that it's not just food poisoning from some bad pretzels or something?" 
"the one thing our tests have told us for certain is that whatever is ailing stAllio! is definitely magickal in nature."

[4/24/2001 3:55:47 PM | stAllio! nGsta]
back in progger's lab: 
"don't you think you're overreacting a little?" asked murray. "you're just hung over & you're not used to it because you don't drink that often. sure, it feels like you're going to die, but it always does. why do you think those bogus 'hangover cures' are such a multimillion-dollar industry?" 
"...ugh...maybe you're right," answered progger. "...when i recover maybe i should get to work on inventing a real hangover cure... oh hells..." 
"now," interrupted vacuumboy, "maybe killing progger is a little rash, but i don't think we should just ignore all the weird stuff that's going on. stAllio! & chet's disappearance, hunter's one-drink hangover..." 
"oh please," said murray. "remember when we first met billy & he made the hunter drunk? jared was such a bad drunk that billy had to undo it. he just can't hold his liquour." 
quiet girl passed vb a note: "he was acting pretty stupid last night... who's billy?" 
"okay, you might have a point there," said vacuumboy, "but i still think there's something that needs to be figured out here... maybe something strange is going on at garfield's like..." 
"what I can't figure out," murray interrupted, "is what the hell do you have against garfield's? what did they ever do to you? so we enjoy going for a drink now & then... just like 90% of the population. just because you can't get drunk doesn't mean there's some kind of conspiracy going on simply because we CAN." 
"...uh..." 
murray continued his rant. "if you're so certain that garfield's is up to something fishy, then let's go back there tonight. you can do all the investigating you want, & we can prove that it's just someplace to go for some harmless drinking."

[5/1/2001 11:34:32 AM | Jared Edwards]
Later that night, the heroes entered Garfield's from the interior entrance. Vacuumboy had insisted on going through the mall so they could get a better sense of the surroundings. As usual, the mall was overly crowded with Cape teenagers and undercrowded with quality shopping opportunities. 
The heroes walked past a long line of those waiting for a seat in the dining area and bellied up to the bar. A cute waitress, who had realized on the first night that these heroes were big tippers once they were in the bag, winked at the Progger. 
"Any appetizers this evening?" she asked. 
"You know we only come here to drink," replied the Progger with a dreamy look in his eyes. 
"Better leave him alone," said the Hunter, "his girlfriends might not like you hitting on him." 
"Just because you're always single doesn't mean you have to keep telling interested girls that I have "girlfriends" when they're both thousands of light years away. You just want her for yourself," said a semi-angry Progger. 
"I'm just saying, you've got two girls who know about each other and don't care. You shouldn't be hogging all of the action. You don't even like redheads." 
"Ok," replied the waitress, "I'll take that as a 'no' on the appetizers. What about drinks?" 
"I'll have a coke," said the Hunter. 
"Why's that?" asked the waitress who was concerned that her large tip was slipping away. She would never convince him that 90% was standard if he was sober. 
"Rough night," he replied. 
"I'll take a strawberry daqueri. I'm taking it easy, too," said the Progger. 
"She'll have a double shot of tequilla," said Murray, after reading Quiet Girl's note. "And I'll have..." 
"...three shots of vodka mixed with two shots of Rock-A-Dile Red and two shots of Cherry," finished the waitress. "I'll give these orders to the bar tender." 
"See, just good fun," said Murray to Vacuumboy. 
"Yeah," said the Progger. "Just cute girls and good times." 
"Don't pout, relax and enjoy," said the note that Quiet Girl handed to Vacuumboy. 
Vacuumboy, however, had different plans. He went invisible, and floated after the cute, redheaded waitress...