[4/10/2001 12:04:52 AM | Jared Edwards]
The next day, Stallio awoke to the realization that it was 3 in the afternoon. He had no idea where he was or how he had gotten there. He soon realized 
that he was not alone. 
"Good afternoon," said Vacuumboy. 
"Ahhh...lights off," groaned Chet. 
"yeaH why are yoU so darN happy to beGin this hOrrible day to be ViEwd as toleRable at best," asked Stallio. 
"Ghosts can't get drunk," said Vacuumboy. 
"How did we get home?" mumbled Chet. 
"She drove," said Vacuumboy, pointing toward Quiet Girl. 
"What about the Hunter and Progger?" asked Chet. 
"Progger gets industrious when he's drunk. He dropped a fusion engine into the Predator early this morning. He and the Hunter took it on a test drive to 
Carbondale. The Hunter wanted to explain things personally to his team and pick up a few more loinclothes, and he was only slightly hungover" explained
Vacuumboy. 
"pleaSe jusT be qUiet until this PoundIng in my heaD stops and my tHrobbing temples reAch a less than Potent level. i Plan to staY asleep until the most DiRe conseqUences of our celebratioN no longer threaten to breaK my pSyche." 
At that point the Hunter and Progger reentered the base. 
"Wow, much better time," commented Vacuumboy. 
"Yeah, the Progger should've been a mechanic," said the Hunter. 
"Maybe I was in another life," laughed the Progger...

[4/11/2001 10:22:19 AM | stAllio! nGsta]
"so what do we do now? the threat of h2whoa is over..." said murray. 
"well," said vacuumboy, "we are all together once again. anybody want to 
go on patrol, just for old time's sake?" it was promptly agreed that this,
once an annoying chore, might be fun... just this once, for old time's sake. 
almost like a parade to celebrate their recent victory more than making rounds
to check on the city's safety. & besides, most of the town still thought 
vacuumboy was dead (well, he was... but they thought he was gone forever). 
so all the group, minus chet & stAllio!, who were still in much pain, piled
into the lovechicken for a ride around town. "i'll catch up with you later," said
chet. stAllio! mumbled something which the group assumed was agreement. 
"say vb," said progger after they'd taken off, "i don't see either your handheld
or your upright back here anywhere. i know this patrol is really only for show,
but shouldn't you have brought a weapon along just in case?" 
"i don't need those anymore," answered vacuumboy. 
"what do you mean?" asked hunter. 
"being dead is very enlightening. it might even be the best thing that ever
happened to me. you learn a lot. everything makes so much sense now." 
"so why don't you need your vacuums anymore?" 
"i never did. those vacuums don't even really work. they're just props." 
"by lothar's loincloth, what do you mean they don't work? i was inside the upright! 
it was pretty real," said hunter. 
"yeah, me too," added murray. 
"no, you were inside the vacuum dimension. that is real. the upright is just
a regular bissel with a special window & a couple alarm systems added onto it. 
you see, i am the conduit to the vacuum dimension. i am a living, breathing
portal to another world... er, i guess i was, & now i'm a dead portal. you know." 
"so wait..." said progger. "does that mean that you understand all that weird stuff
about your origin now?" 
"oh yes. i know who the sculptor was, who the mysterious archetypal informant was...
everything." 
"so who was the informant?" scrawled quiet girl. 
"i was. or i will be. my portal powers give me the ability to project my likeness
through time. i can't physically go back in time or anything; it's more like astral
projection." 
"so why didn't you recognize yourself?" asked progger. 
"i guess i never looked past the informant's bald head to get a good look at his face." 
"yeah, & if you can do that, why don't you go back & warn yourself that the slasher
is going to kill all our students?" asked hunter. 
"i can't change the future. i can only give the warnings that are meant to be given." 
"oh, don't go all doc manhattan on us..." moaned progger. 
"i think that's a natural side effect of prognostication," said vb.

[4/11/2001 10:50:11 AM | stAllio! nGsta]
despite progger's concerns, the group's patrol went swimmingly, with no crime
found anywhere. wherever the group went, they were cheered by onlookers & passersby,
grateful to have been saved from the monster formerly known as h2whoa, & joyous at
vacuumboy's return. 
by the time evening had come, chet had met up with the group, though still a little
dark around the eyes. stAllio! was not with him. "he didn't look any better. he
said he wanted to sleep it off," recklessboy told them. 
hours later, they still hadn't encountered any hard crime to speak of, only a few 
jaywalkers & minors trying to buy alcohol. "this is getting boring," said chet.
"let's go back to garfield's. we had so much fun there last night." 
"yeah, we could use some more celebration," said progger. 
"you want to go back to the bar?" asked vacuumboy. "chet, aren't you still
hung over from last night?" 
"hair of the dog," answered chet. 
"yeah, we should go back to garfield's. there's nothing going on out here," said
hunter. murray added in his own "yeah!" & even quiet girl nodded in agreement. 
"well i guess it's back to garfield's we go," said vb.

[4/11/2001 12:16:39 PM | stAllio! nGsta]
the next afternoon chet was again awakened by a blinding light & the voices of his
teammates. he was groggy & his head throbbed, but not as much as the day before. 
"good afternoon again," said vacuumboy. 
"whoa, what happened..." murmered chet. 
"we had some night!" said murray. 
"i'll say!" replied progger. "even the hunter got laid." 
"yeah," said hunter. "i don't know why we never hung out with sorority
girls before... HEY!" 
"it was definitely interesting," said vacuumboy. "i'm not sure why everyone
is so taken with that place, though. it seemed to me like the same greek meat market
that it ever was." 
"no, it's much better now. a better clientelle of greeks, perhaps," said murray. 
quiet girl scribbled out the words "yes, much better now" on her notepad, to which
vacuumboy replied "how would you know? you're only barely 21." 
"no, she's right," said progger. "someone wake up stAllio! i'm sure he'll be upset 
he missed such a wild night of debauchery." 
murray walked over to the bunk where stAllio! was sleeping. he spoke stAllio!'s name
repeatedly & got no response. he poked, prodded, & shook his otherworldly teammate.
finally stAllio! rolled over slightly, looking quite pale & pained, & mumbled "...lummaslip...
iturss..." 
"hey, is he still hungover from the other night?" asked a concerned vacuumghost. 
"he looks even worse than he did yesterday..." murray said. 
"maybe we should call a doctor," suggested hunter. 
"right... & how many doctors do you know that would be familiar with half-fairy, 
half-leprechaun physiology?" was murray's retort. 
"i bet there are some in the faerie realm," said progger. "maybe we should try to
catch that shuttle back over there to get help." 
"with jared carrying that iron stilt & you with your progg blaster?" said vacuumboy.
"that would be suicide." 
"what do you mean? we'd just leave them behind. my blaster disappeared last time. 
stAllio! said that iron can't exist over there." 
"he must've lied to stop you from worrying. there was probably a defense mechanism
on the shuttle. iron to fey is like silver to werewolves: extremely fatal. carrying
iron in faerie is an offense punishable by death." 
progger was stunned for a moment. "how do you know that?" 
"i just do. i'm dead." 
"then why don't you know what's wrong with him?" 
"i'm dead; i'm not omniscient. look, we have some more errands we need to run.
maybe he just needs more time to rest. somebody stay here to watch him, & everyone
else, let's go."

[4/12/2001 8:05:48 PM | Jared Edwards]
meanwhile, in the land of the fae, a very irrate high general was on the leaf following a a disturbing report from Earth Watch... 
"Wha da ya, I mean what are you saying ya ken na due, I mean you can't do anything?" 
"Well, it's not that we can't, sir...getting over there will be easy, but ingress is still a problem. Getting him back here will be dangerous." 
"I du na be wantin' excuses, boyo. I mean, I don't want excuses, I want results."