[4/8/2001 3:52:30 AM | steve higgins]
As the monster schlorped down the tunnel and into the room, Vacuumboy motioned for Kid Wicker to seal off its only means of escape. Kid Wicker sidestepped around the beast timidly, maintaining a calm exterior as he shot wicker out of his hands and closed off the last remaining exit. But on the inside he was trembling with fright at the idea of facing this beast that had killed most of his former teammates, and only felt marginally safer when he had returned to stand down the creature with his fellow teammates. 
Quiet Girl took in the scene with quiet, calm resolve. 
Stallio’s mind was filled with lust as he stared at the scantily-clad white slut, who felt pride in her appearance due to stallio’s attentions and thus continually bent over in front of him “by accident.” Murray bottled up his jealousy at the attention his new lover was giving his old friend. 
The Hunter felt so sad that he had been forced to leave his stilt behind that he almost began crying until he stained himself. 
Progger and the others tried to muster up the courage to face the monster. 
But none of them felt angry in the least, a fact that caused the former H2Whoa to begin to shrink. As the beast did so, it squirmed in such confusion that it finally spoke. “Finally we meet again. You murderers shall pay for killing me, pay with your very lives!” 
“Murderers? Oh no, H2Whoa,” Progger said sorrowfully. “We never meant for you to be harmed in any way and were in fact deeply saddened by your untimely demise.” 
“What’s going on here?” RecklessBoy asked apprehensively. 
“The monster feeds on anger,” explained Vaccumboy serenely. “Our emotions right now are anything but, so we are slowly starving it to death.” 
“You mean we’re beating the thing just by standing here? Cool!” Chet exclaimed excitedly, causing the monster to shrink even more, now merely the size of a moped. 
H2Whoa recoiled in pain. “STOP IT!” The beast stretched out a tentacle and reached into the crowd of heroes. “I’ know how to make you angry!” The tentacle wrapped around Vacuumboy’s neck and began to slowly strangle him. 
“Vacuumboy!” the tyke-bot cried in concern, the human aspects of his brain getting the better of his cold robotic stoicism. He and the other heroes rushed forward to fight the beast off. 
“Don’t… get… mad…” Vacuumboy said, struggling to breathe yet waving the others back. 
So the others eased back to their original positions and could only look on worriedly as the beast squeezed the air out of Vacuumboy, all the while shrinking smaller and smaller. 


[4/8/2001 4:09:21 AM | steve higgins]
Finally H2Whoa returned to its original size, not quite ten gallons, and it released the death grip it had on Vacuumboy. Progger moved forward with a forcefield generator to contain the beast, but Kid Wicker stopped him. 
“Here, let me!” the rookie exclaimed, glad that his powers were coming to good use in this adventure. He formed a thick basket around the gooey remnants of the creature instantly and rushed forward to check it out. 
“No you fool!” Progger exclaimed in fear. “Wrap another few layers around it so it can't slip through the cracks!” 
“Who you calling a fool?” Kid Wicker called out as he picked the basket up, and that burst of anger was enough to sallow the monster to burst free from its container and devour Kid Wicker’s face. 
“Dammit!” Progger cried as he used his device to contain the monster and keep it from growing further. “I had hoped we could avoid losing anyone this time around…” 
“I think you’re doubly wrong about that one, Progger,” said Chet sadly, pointing to where Vacuumboy still lay on the ground. 
Quiet Girl was crouching over him as he gasped for air. “Keep… the band… together…” Vacuumboy uttered. “do it… for… me…” 
Quiet girl quietly nodded, and a single tear ran down her cheek. Vacuumboy let out one final breath and then gave up the ghost.

[4/8/2001 2:11:09 PM | Jared Edwards]
and, as one, the team began to cry. And they continued to cry until they had stained themselves.

[4/8/2001 10:58:22 PM | steve higgins]
After she had finished crying, Quiet Girl began to speak. However, the language she was speaking was unknown to the other heroes who could only look on in wonder at hearing the heretofore ever-silent heroine speaking. 
they were surprised as hell to hear her voice, which was a few octaves lower than Barry White's. 
When she had finished, Progger timidly asked, "were you casting some sort of resurrection spell or something?" 
"Yeah," the Hunter joined in hopefully. "Can you bring him back?" 
Quiet girl shook her head no, so Murray asked, "Then why were you talking like that?" 
"and mucH morE impoRtantly, MAdam," stallio! chimed in, "exPlain How youR vOice is so Deep when you fInally chose To spEak." 
"If you were a girl," Quiet Girl intoned, "and you sounded like this, would you talk much?" 
stallio couldn't argue with such logic. Progger deactivated the forcefield as the outpouring of sadness at VB's death had totally evaporated what used to be H2Whoa. then he and Murray reverently picked up Vacuumboy's body and carried it out as the tyke-bot used his mangler legs to tear through the wicker blocking the exits.As they carried his body back to the lovechicken to give it a proper hero's burial, Progger commented, "Why couldn't it have been me this time? Or you? Everyone knows we're the cannon fodder around here." 
Meanwhile the white slut was a tad upset. "Aw man why do I get stuck carting off the scrub?" with that she slung kid wicker's corpse over one shoulder and followed the others out of the sewers.

[4/8/2001 11:26:20 PM | steve higgins]
At Vacuumboy's funeral more crying and staining occurred than had ever come before. The hunter's eulogy was long and rambling but nobody seemed to mind much due to the comfort of the wicker chairs they were sitting in. 
"Nice furniture for a funeral home," Murray leaned over to tell Progger during a particularly lengthy bout of the Hunter crying at the wicker podium by Vacuumboy's coffin. 
"Actually this is all courtesy of Pier One," Progger explained. "Kid Wicker's parents own the company, and since they all have the same wicker powers, they have very low overhead and reap massive profits. Anyway, they wanted to honor the Kid's fallen mentor and so provided this stuff." 
"so why didn't chopper show up?" Murray asked. 
"The bride wasn't home from work yet and he didn't want to have to leave her a note telling her where he'd be." 
"damn whipped bastard." 
"and WhAt about the white slut aNd Tyke-bot?" stallio! asked. "why aren't they preSEnt for this eXtremely solemn occasion?" 
"since Kaufman and Normal Guy have their town under control, they're taking over the Hunter's teaching spot in Carbondale so he can stay here on the team," RecklessBoy explained. 
Quiet Girl turned around from her seat in the front row and shushed them by silently laying her finger against her lips and scowling. 
Just then as the Hunter seemed like he would never stop rambling about the good old days of living in the dorms and fighting evil, a spirit appeared above them. "What's all the hubbub, bub?" 
"Vacuumboy!" the heroes all cried in unison, except for Quiet girl, who silently and knowingly smiled. 
"You didn't really think I'd let a little thing like death keep me away from you guys did you?" Vacuumboy's ghost said with a smile. 
"but how are you here?" asked Progger as he picked his jaw up off the floor. 
"that language Quiet Girl was speaking in as I died... was Yiddish," Vacuumboy explained. "You're talking to the newest resident of the land of the undead Jewish conf characters!" 
"So does that mean you're just going to intervene every now and then like Barnie and the rest used to do?" the Hunter asked, sighing with relief that his friend was not gone forever. 
"Screw that, man!" Vacuumboy exclaimed. "Being undead now has allowed me to utilize my vacuum powers in ways I had never imagined before. With all this untapped potential at my fingertips, I'm gonna get involved as much as possible!" 
And so the heroes left the funeral parlor jubilantly to return to Marvels and Legends and celebrate Vacuumboy's return as a ghost.

[4/8/2001 11:49:30 PM | stAllio! nGsta]
then they realized that a comic shop was probably not the ideal place for a party, so they hit the bars instead.