[3/7/2001 6:21:10 AM | steve higgins] Vacuumboy and Quiet Girl spent half an hour digging RecklessBoy out from under a pile of rubble. When he finally saw the two hereos, he was so surprised that he cried out, "WeeEeaaUuGgh!" Quiet Girl jumped back in surprise, then quickly scribbled on her note pad, "What's with Chet?" "He does that all the time; it's part of his powers to be unable to effectively warn someone of danger due to his incessant screaming," Vacuumboy explained. "And my name's NOT Chet!" RecklessBoy yelled. "I heard that constantly in prison and now that I'm out too! My real name is..." But Quiet Girl had already scribbled down another message. "Then why does it say Chet on your uniform?" And sure enough, on his bright orange prison jumpsuit it read "chet" in all capital letters, right above the words Southeast Missouri State University. The word University was then crossed out and Penitentiary written in its place. "Murray's gonna love that outfit," Vacuumboy said. "Murray? You're going to see Murray? when?" "Tomorrow, and you'll be seeing him too." Vacuumboy then told RecklessBoy all about their meeting the next evening. "But I can't leave the halfway house after five. I have to come straight there from work!" RecklessBoy protested. "I cleared it with your PO," Vacuumboy told him. "when?" "On my way over here, I called him in the car. I forgot to mention it to Gullet when we were actually talking face to face." "Alrightee, then. I'll be there." "Great," said Vacuumboy. "see you then." Quiet Girl scribbled "Bye, Chet" on her pad and they walked back to the Lovechicken2. "Now Quiet Girl, while I was talking to Gullet on the phone, did you look up the Bride and Groom's base of operations in the hero index like I asked you to?" Quiet Girl nodded. She silently showed him the address and they took off for their destination. [3/7/2001 9:58:17 AM | Jared Edwards] A quick trip across the bridge had taken Vacuumboy and Quiet Girl to what appeared to be an abandoned carpet warehouse. "What next?" asked Vacuumboy. Quiet Girl scribbled the instructions and showed them to Vacuumboy. "Allright," sighed Vacuumboy as he stood on one foot and began to sing "O Candada" at the top of his lungs. Quiet Girl giggled silently (you could tell be the look on her face and the fact that she was shaking uncontrolably) as Vacuumboy missed note after note. Suddenly, a net engulfed the two heroes as two figures rose through a trap door hidden in the shadows. "Sorry, the net is for our protection," said a familiar voice from the shadows. "We haven't gotten any state of the art surveilance equipment yet. Oh, it's you. Why are you standing on one leg?" Vacuumboy looked questioningly at Quiet Girl who wrote, "I added that part, to see if you would do it," and giggled again. "We need your help," said Vacuumboy (now on both feet)... [3/7/2001 4:01:51 PM | steve higgins] The net was quickly removed as the two figures stepped out of the shadows. Vacuumboy stared in awe at what he saw. "Chopper?" "Yeah, it's me." "What happened to you?" "Well it's sort of a long story," Chopper explained. The man sat down before Vacuumboy and Quiet Girl and started his tale. "After... what happened with the Slasher, I couldn't take being a goalie anymore. But it was the whole reason I was alive. I had only been changed from an inanimate dummy to a moving creature made of wood to fulfill my goalie duties. I was worried that the goalie continuum would revert me back to normal, so I wished upon a star to be made into a real boy. The blue fairy came down from the sky then and granted my wish. so here i am." "And who's that?" Vacuumboy asked, pointing to the girl he was sitting beside. "I'm the Bride!" the girl cried out loudly, jumping to her feet and striking a pose. "Once Chopper became a real person, I swooped in, molded him into the kind of man I wanted and made him marry me. Now we fight crime together as a duo." "Uh, OK..." Vacuumboy said. "Then maybe you both can help us. We're getting the band back together and we need help fighting a evil monster. We're meeting everyone tomorrow night at the comic shop and..." "Great!" shouted Chopper (the Groom) but before he could ask for more details, the Bride burst into song, singing "RESPECT." When she was finished, Chopper hung his head dejectedly. "I don't think I can break away. We're working on rebuilding this carpet store together and it's a lot of work. Besides... Tomorrow night is..." The Groom swallowed hard and said, "loving night." "Uh..." "Maybe afterwards." "Uh..." "Look you might want to try to contact the new Goalie. He could help," the Groom said. "Uh..." Quiet Girl scribbled on her pad, "Do you have his address?" After the Groom handed her a piece of paper, she nodded and grabbed Vacuumboy by the arm to lead him out. "Before you go let me give you some advice," the Bride said to Quiet Girl then. "If you want this guy to be your man, read that book The Rules. It worked for me!" Quiet Girl rolled her eyes and walked out with Vacuumboy in tow. Vacuumboy tried desperately as he got into the Lovechicken2 to purge the idea of the Groom engaging in "loving" from his head but he couldn't. And so he cried and cried until he had stained himself. [3/7/2001 9:01:09 PM | Jared Edwards] Meanwhile, in the realm of the Fey, a leaf was ringing: "High General O'Heinekin (Billy had been promoted since being instrumental in restoring the old government) speaking, Communicate or Terminate," said a little man at a little desk. "High General, Earth Watch, The Band is Getting Back Together," and there was a click on the other end of the line. "I knew this would happen eventually," sighed the High General. And the Illustrious Billy O'Heinekin set off for the royal guestwing where Stallio!(who Oberon & Titania owed an even larger debt) was taking a little R&R... [3/8/2001 10:48:12 AM | stAllio! nGsta] after knocking on the door & being told to come in, high general o'heineken opened the door to his son stAllio!'s chambers. inside he found the enigmatic stAllio! dressed in full regalia, surrounded by several of the finest fairy & leprechaun ladies of the realm. "oh, it's you, dad," said stAllio! "good day, my son," said the high general. "i trust you are doing well." stAllio!'s gaze crossed over the lovely ladies before making eye contact with his father. "oh yes. i think i might even be recovering from CYD." "we've just received an intelligence report from earth watch," the high general informed his son. "it appears that the band, as they say, is getting back together." stAllio!'s brow dropped as the smile slowly left his face. "is that So? wHat's goIng on? deTails?" "it was only a preliminary alert. the brevity of those transmissions is essential to avoid trace or tagalong of the singal. i could request a follow-up report run through the usual encryption pools, but that would take time." stAllio! lashed out. "Will you for Hell's sAke sTop talking like tHAt?!? i think i Probably PrefErred that old uNintelligble broguE you haD." "as i've briefed you before, my official capacity as a high general necessitates a certain fluency in what the crown refers to as the 'high language'," replied o'heineken, unflustered. "if you wouldst truly wish it, i could attempt to revert to my old, apostrophe-riddled manner of speech, however i'm unsure of the level of success i might have after so long." "nah, daSh it all. nEver mind. i'm mereLy a littLe agitated abOUt the siTuation..." stAllio! said, becoming distracted as a particularly fine fey female attempted to initiate a game of footsie. stAllio! wondered if she had ever seen that dockers commercial before regaining some of his composure. " what's the portal schedule look like?" "we're expecting a storm to hit the in-between zones come mid-phase. egress will be easy, but once that storm hits, ingress does not look good." "mid-phase? so what time is that earth-time? i'm not up on my interplanar time formulas." "midnight tomorrow." "& what time is that here?" "a few hours from now." "dammit! so if i leave to go try to find these guys & see what's going on, i might not be able to get back in?" at the mere mention of the word "leave" the ladies began to close in, begging "please don't go. you're so glamorous, etc etc". stAllio! tried his best to appease them while still focusing on the conversation with his father. "that appears to be the case, affirmative." "crap, & i only have 2 weeks vacation time. is there an agent on earth who could establish contact with them?" "affirmative. your cousin HOJO is somewhere on that plane. in fact i believe that he did a favor for the one called chopper not too long ago." "hojo? you mean mofo's son? kick ass. okay... um, are there any human-sized ingresses that are easily accessible?" the high general lost his cool for only the briefest of moments, completely unnoticeable to anyone but the trained family eye of his son. "you mean you want to bring biggies to faerie?" "it's that or lose my vacation." at this the ladies all desperately grabbed ahold of stAllio!, swooning with an intensity that only magickal creatures can swoon. "they may be biggies, but they're good guys, i guess. & i'm not going to leave here just to find out they're throwing some pizza party." "...well there is the draxim m'hayal. that's large enough for several human-size creatures to cross over." "draxim m'hayal? isn't that on the moon?" "negative. you're thinking of the frax'm mikhail. the draxim m'hayal is a shuttlebus." "a shuttlebus?" "affirmative. in fact, i believe it even makes a stop at towers circle tomorrow night at 11:45." "greaT. send cousIn hojo to Meet thEm iF Only foR a SecOnd. MakE sure, i mean be Positive, they're on that bUS. right now i muSt attend to these lovelY ladies..."