================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/12/13 18:10 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy's webpage= http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/1142 "Don't point those things at me," Vacuumboy said to Jan-I-Tor's minions. As the villains shot their flamethrowers at him, Vacuumboy grabbed his nearby vacuum and sucked the fire right out of the air. The minions stopped burning down the room and turned toward their master. "He thwarts our cleansing plans, master," said the androgynous vest-wearer. "He is not the defiler!" Jan-I-Tor said. "It is the betrayer. The one who abandoned his cleaning duties." "Those who turn their backs on cleanliness must be punished," said one of the minions. He turned again toward Vacuumboy and began to fire the flamethrower. "I told you not to point that thing at me," VB replied and sucked the flamethrowers into the vacuum dimension. The mindless slaves turned toward their master, and the robot brushed them aside. "I will take care of this betrayer myself," Jan-I-Tor said to them. His arms suddenly turned into giant floor buffers and he advanced on Vacuumboy with the brushes spinning. "Prepare to be... swept away!" "Suck you!" Vacuumboy shouted and aimed his vacuum at the android. But before the battle could commence, the smoke from Jared's flaming loft reached the detector in the hall, and the fire alarm annoyingly blared. Murray, Chet, and Chopper burst out of Progger's room and into the hall to see a confused Jan-I-Tor standing beside three people sporting tech vests. "What the heck's going on?" asked Chet. "Who set off the fire alarm?" asked Chopper. "who the heck are you???" Murray asked Jan-I-Tor. "I told you three times already. I'm Godboy." "Oh, yeah." Progger paused as the ferry came ashore. Godboy got off the boat while Progger continued to look around confusedly. Godboy grabbed his arm and pulled him off the boat. Progger stood silently on the shore. "Where are we going again?" he suddenly blurted out when Godboy started to walk away. Godboy sighed. "We are in hell. We're going to confront the demon Titivillus in order to rescue the Hunter. Now come on." "Hell?" said Progger. "no wonder it's so hot! I need a drink." He stepped toward the river and bent down to take a drink. "No dammit!" cursed godboy, still reeling from Hell's influence. He grabbed Progger by the arm and dragged him away from the shore. "Listen to me, you little piece of sh!t!" Godboy shouted at Progger, inches from his face, his face bright red. "Pay attention, you d!ckle$$ son of a b!tc#. Were going into the lair of a fu(%ing demon to rescue your friend, @$$#0le, so you better get your $#!t together before I crack your g0dd&mn b&$t&rd!" Progger stood silently staring at him for a moment before saying, "Who's my friend again?" "M0t#erf^(%er!!!" Godboy shouted. He waved his hand in Progger's direction and turned him into a pillar of salt. He then picked up the Progger, hoisted him under one arm, and continued walking toward the lair of Titivillus. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/12/15 19:28 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter No me gusta los borrachos. And, when he got close enough, Chet sprang to action. "Yoink!!" he screamed as the made his move. "What happened?" asked Jan-I-Tor as he realized that he was down to one buffer pad and one bare spinning wheel. "This will come in handy for something," said Chet as he tucked the buffer pad into his uniform. "Eat this," said Chopper as he began firing slap shots at Jan-I-Tor. "No!!!!" yelled Jan-I-Tor as the hard rubber pucks left black streaks on his shiny metal surface like dress shoes on a hardwood floor. "The filth is consuming me and I must escape. Minions, finish them." And with that, Jan-I-Tor rushed to his escape route to the basement (aka the trash shute) and left his minions to fight as he planned his revenge on Vacuumboy... "What next?" asked the Androgynous being in gray. "I just don't know," said Godboy aloud, as he reached a fork in the path that wasn't marked on his map of Hell. He sat the Progger down to determine which way to go, and then he realized that the Progger was slowly melting at the high temperatures of Hell. "Guess I'll change him back and deal with his forgetfulness," said Godboy. "What happened, and where am I?" asked the boy in blue as he regained consciousness after a blast from Chopper to his head. "We are captive in the Hunter's den of filth, where we await questioning by those defilers who claim to be heroes," responded the girl in pink. "Jan-I-Tor left us," said the being in gray. "He sacraficed us for the good of cleanliness. We will be remember forever as martyrs." "Yeah," sighed the two zombies with discernable genders... ================================================================================ >:::The following added 2000/01/07 14:14 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter No me gusta los borrachos. Meanwhile, the Hunter was undergoing more torture. "Yessss," hissed Titivillus. "This will do nicely, and it is in a size triple x, too. Just arrived, it did." The demon approached the Hunter, who, under the multiple layers of clothing looked like he weighed 600 lbs. "No, anything but that," screamed the Hunter. "Not one of those things." "Yesss," screamed the demon with delight. "A bright green tech vest, perfect." As the demon continued his horrible torture, the Hunter looked at his surroundings, trying to block this new insult be added to injury. He realized that the room was filled with weapons. There was a club, several swords, and in special cases, a gatlin gun, a breach loading rifle, and an atomic bomb. "Hey, Tit," said the Hunter, "What's with the weapons?" "Well," said the demon, who hated being called "tit", "Weapons have an essence that is transported here where they are destroyed. The great ones, I put in special places. I'm extremely proud of the first a-bomb. Oh, and here's one you probably have special interest in..." And with that, the demon held up a very familiar four hundred pound bed stilt complete with spikes. "Give me that," said the Hunter, suddenly forgetting the layers of clothing. "I don't think so," replied the demon. "I'll just put it here out of your reach." And, with the stilt sitting in a corner, the demon returned to pick out the next item of clothing for the Hunter. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 2000/01/17 04:17 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter No me gusta los borrachos. Soon, Progger and Godboy had reached the demon's lair. It was unguarded simply because no one in their right mind would try to break into such a place. At first the Progger didn't recognize the Hunter. "Who's that fat man?" whispered the Progger. "That's the Hunter," replied Godboy quietly. "I guess my memory's really messed up," said the Progger. "No," said Godboy, "that's all of the clothing on him." "Oh." "Well," said the demon. "Here is a really big half zip fleece thingy for you to wear." "No," yelled the Hunter, "I thought the tech vest was bad." "And after that, these wierd sectioned pants that can be really short or really long," said Titivillus. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO." "We have to help him now," said the Progger. "Right," said Godboy. "I'll get between him and the demon and hold up this unearthly symbol and keep him away while you free the Hunter and run quickly away. Then, I will follow you." The plan was quickly put into action. Titivillus tried to get around Godboy, but his defense was tighter than Michael Jordan's. The Progger only took about ten minutes to sort through the zippers and ties to return the Hunter to shirtlessness. "Run," the Progger yelled to the Hunter, and the Hunter did. "No, wait," screamed the Hunter as he returned for the stilt. The Hunter grabbed the stilt and ran with the Progger as Godboy followed quickly behind. Godboy had done something weird to the door of Titivillus's lair so that he had to go the long way around. The three heroes soon reached the shore where Charon was waiting on them, kind of. "Whas goin' on 'ere?" demanded the ghostly rower. "Why's my bloey boat sittin' on dry sod 'ere in the mi'le of the bloomin' ri'er?" "I parted the sea so that you would be here when we got back," replied Godboy who was obviously in a hurry. "Wha' abou' my monay?" asked Charon. "We paid all we're paying, and you're not leaving without us," said Godboy. "Allroit," Charon conceded as he let the heroes on board. No sooner had Godboy returned the water to the lake than Titivillus was seen running for the shore. Charon pushed off fast and hard, and even Titivillus knew better than to swim in those waters. Charon had soon dropped the heroes off where he first met the two rescuers. He quickly moved off to wait for more voyagers. "You can't take that with you, Hunter," said the Progger. "What?" asked the Hunter. "The stilt," said the Progger, and then he explained the coin story. The Hunter was obviously dejected. "It's almost time for you to be plugged back in," Godboy said to the Progger. "Then, the Hunter and I will follow, we'll be there soon after you." And with that, the Progger began to flicker. As he did, the Hunter moved quickly. "Maybe it will work both ways," he screamed as he yanked open the Progger's mouth, tilted back his head, and crammed the four hundred pound, spiked bedstilt all the way in. The Progger flickered out, and a very disapproving Godboy began taking the Hunter back to earth. Soon, the Progger reappeared next to Murray, who had plugged the machine back in. The Progger immediately burst into flames and appeared again a few feet from a hole in the floor. "What happened?" asked the Progger. "Look," said Murray. In the hole, was a stilt glowing and pulsating a bright red. "Wow," they both said as Godboy appeared next to him. "Bring the Hunter out of the deepfreeze," said Godboy. The Progger quickly did just that and then pointed out the stilt, which had sank deeper into the floor, and explained what happend. "I was afraid of that," said Godboy. "The stilt is now supernatural. It destroyed you because of its evil aura." Then, Godboy waved his hand over the stilt and the hard red glow turned to a soft white one. "Now," he explained, "it is good. I couldn't make it natural, but I basically reversed the polarity. The Hunter, who had been watching anxiously since coming out of the Progger's deep freeze, reached for the stilt, but his hand stopped two inches away. "What gives?" yelled the Hunter. "Simple," said Godboy, "it isn't evil, but it is still supernatural, it can only be touched by the supernatural." And with that, Godboy reached into the hole and retrieved the stilt. "Go get your sheath and a pair of gloves." The Hunter left and soon returned with a pair of leather work gloves and his stilt sheath. He put them both on, as he was instructed. Godboy waved his hands over them and pronounced it done. When the Hunter tried to remove the sheath and gloves, he found them bound to his body. "What's going on?" demanded the Hunter. "Safety precaution," said Godboy. "The stilt's aura is no longer destructive, but it will be held only with that holy sheath and those holy gloves, which can not leave you. Its weight and your strength will still determine its success, but it is now much more secure." The Hunter took the stilt, swung it twice, and sheathed it, happy to finally have it back. He then tossed his hundred pound stilt out the window, killing a poor tech vest wearing minion in the process. "So," he said, "Where are the others?" ================================================================================ >:::The following added 2000/01/24 17:13 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter No me gusta los borrachos. "First, I want to ask a few questions," said the Progger. "O.k, shoot," replied Godboy. "First, why couldn't Titivillus follow us out of his door?" "We'll," said Godboy, "while you were a pillar of salt..." "Why was I a pillar of salt?" asked Progger. "One question at a time. While you were a pillar of salt, I collected a small sample, and I used that to sanctify the doorway so the Titivillus would have to go around. I would've used holy water, but it would've evaporated too quickly. You were a pillar of salt because you lost your memory by drinking from a river and you had become annoying." "You mean the River Styx?" "No, a tributary, actually." "So, am I indestructable now?" "Of course not, you idiot," pointed out Murray, "you burst into flames as soon as you got back." "Oh, yeah," said the Progger. "Why aren't I indestructable like Achilles?" "First off, you weren't in your physical body like he was. That entrace to the river was blocked off soon after his mom found it and snuck him in. Second, the river Lethe doesn't work that way. The waters from it and a couple of the other tributaries have to mix together to get that effect." "Finally," said the Progger. "What did you hold up between us and the demon?" "It was a cherub's wing soaked in angel tears and then dried by the warmth of heavenly love." "Oh, o.k.," said a still confused Progger. "Now," said an impatient Hunter, "where are the others?" ================================================================================ >:::The following added 2000/01/26 09:37 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy Exodus 8:2 "the others?" asked Murray. "what do you mean, where are they? didn't you notice them as you went to your room?" "No," the hunter replied. "I was too excited about my new stilt." He then began to pout. "too bad it's all demonic and dumb. I'd really love to feel its shaft and gently caress it with my hands." "Knock it off, pervert, and try taking a look in the hall," Murray said. And when the Hunter and Progger did, they saw Jan-I-Tor down the hall in the midst of a heated battle with Vacuumboy. Chopper lay unconscious at Jan-I-Tor's feet and Vacuumboy was frantically dodging the urinal cakes Jan-I-Tor fired at him. "Hey guys!" he shouted to the heroes down in Progger's room. "a little help here?" Progger strapped on his Progg(tm) blaster, angrily scowling at Jared. "How'd you miss the melle in the hall? Chopper's body is draped across your doorway." Jared didn't reply; he just looked longingly at his stilt. Progger sighed and turned to Murray. "so what's up with this guy?" Murray explained about Jan-I-Tor being the replacement for Vacuumboy, who was thought dead by everyone, including the university. Murray explained about the tech vest mind control and how Jan-I-Tor was devoted to keeping things clean, no matter what the cost. "We had chased him away and captured three of his drones," Murray finished, "but he came back with more weaponry, his high-powered shower cleaning hose and his mega scrub brush attachments, and took Chopper out." "where's Chet?" Progger asked as he unstrapped the Progg(tm) blaster from his back and returned it to the closet. "He ran out of utensils and went down to the cafeteria to steal some more," Murray confusedly said. "why are you taking off your weapons? aren't you going to help VaCUUMBOY?" "I have a plan," Progger replied and then walked out into the hall. He headed straight for Jan-I-Tor, unfazed by the urinal cakes ricohceting past him. When he got close enough to the two combatants, he cried out, "Jan-I-TOR!" as loud as he could, but was barely heard over the roar of the cleaning equipment. Finally both Vacuumboy and the robot maid Jan-I-Tor noticed him and stopped fighting. "Are you also an enemy of cleanliness?" Jan-I-tor asked Progger, swiveling his midsection, a toilet duck tank turret, to point at Progger. "No quite the opposite actually," said Progger. "And that's why I see an easier solution to your problems with Vacuumboy. Why don't you have a cleaning contest?" "What?" asked Vacuumboy increduously. "Vacuumboy can clean North and East, and Jan-I-Tor can clean South and West. Whoever is done first and whoever's floors are the cleanest wins the contest, and the other cleaner will have to turn in his dust mop." "I find that proposal acceptable," said Jan-I-Tor. "But no using drones. The work must be real and done by you and you alone," said Progger. "I understand," replied Jan-I-Tor. "I am hereby releasing all tech vest wearers from my control. We shall beign tomorrow at eight in the morning." And with that Jan-I-Tor retreated back down the trash chute to recharge for the next day's competition. "You IDIOT!" screamed Vacuumboy. "He's a robot! He doesn't get tired. He's going to wipe the floor with me." "John Henry won his contest," replied Progger as he knelt down and tried to wake Chopper up. "The machine wore out before he did." "Yeah but then he DIED!" shouted Vacuumboy. "If that happens, you can always just come back to life like you always do," Progger said as he helped chopper to his feet. "That's YOU that gets rejuvenated!" "Oh yeah. I guess the river Lethe's effects haven't totally worn off yet," Progger said. "sorry." "What the heck's going on here?" said the three drones as they left the Hunter's closet, confused at their surroundings and their odd choice of fashion. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 2000/01/26 14:38 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy Exodus 8:2 Down in the cafeteria, RecklessBoy was waiting nervously for a student worker to finish refilling the spoon container by the cereal, so he could pocket them all. "Come on, come on!" Chet said under his breath. "We're in the middle of a battle up there and I need more AMMO!" When the student worker walked away, Chet rushed over and filled his pockets full. "There!" Chet smiled to himself. "Now I can help Vacuumboy take out Jan-I-Tor." As Chet was walking past the velvet ropes to go back into South, he heard a scream come from the dish return area. Chet sighed and decided to check it out. "Vacuumboy'll have to hold his own for a minute," he said to himself as he wandered back to where the Mangler used to be. He found there a hysterical dishwasher, standing over the dead body of the student worker who had just replenished the spoons, his throat cut from ear to ear. "What's going on here?" Chat asked the dishwasher. "LOOK!" screamed the dishwasher pointing at the body. Chet bent down and looked at the corpse, inspecting a crumpled up piece of paper that had been shoved in the dead man's mouth. He pulled it out and unfolded it calmly. It was a comment card for the cafeteria, but at the bottom, rather than Chartwells, the name read Sodexho. "Damn. I thought we'd taken care of this problem," said Chet. Upon seeing the card, the dishwasher screamed, "It's the Sodexho Slasher!" and promptly fainted dead away. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 2000/01/27 19:24 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter No me gusta los borrachos. Chet hurried upstairs where he found everyone in the Hunter's room swapping stories and planning strategy. Everyone was soon filled in on what had happened while Progger, Godboy, and the Hunter had been in hell. The next item on the agenda was strategy for battling Jan-I-Tor. "This is crazy," said Vacuumboy. "He was built to clean, I just clean to help pay the bills." "Yeah, but you have that intangible human drive to suceed and thrive," pointed out the Progger. "I don't enjoy cleaning that much," replied Vacuumboy. "I've got an idea," said the Hunter. "If his floors are dirtier, it might make things even and give you a chance." "What?" asked Vacuumboy and the Progger. "Well," said the Hunter, "we may not be able to do much about West, but we should be able to make South dirtier than normal by tommorrow morning unless, of course, you think that's cheating." "No," said Vacuumboy, "go on." "All we have to do is talk to our friends on other floors and get them to make their floors messy while we do the same here." "What friends?" asked Chopper. "They all left." "Let's talk about this later," said Chet. "We've got bigger issues." "Like what?" asked Vacuumboy. "This seems pretty big to me." "The Sodexo Slasher is back, look," said Chet as he showed them the card. "I've got a plan," said the Progger. "Does part of it deal with my problem?" asked Vacuumboy. "Yes, you use Jared's plan, even if it means all of you messing up the other floors, too. Unless, of course, you want to stop being a maid. Jared, Godboy, and I will battle the Slasher since I don't think the rest of you will be much help and it is us that Titivillus, the demon really responsable wants anyway." "Now I'm confused," said the Hunter. "I'll explain," said Progger, "but for now the rest of you need to start messing things up while Jared and I send for Godboy and get ready for our part..." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 2000/01/27 19:58 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter No me gusta los borrachos. "What's the problem?" asked Godboy. "I don't feel like constantly running back and forth." "The Sodexo Slasher is back," said the Progger. "We figure that Titivillus has it in for the three of us, so I thought it would be best if the three of us battle him and leave the others out of it this time, especially since Vacuuboy has problems of his own." "O.k., I guess this falls into my area of expertise, but your message said you had a plan. What is it?" continued Godboy in his inquiry as the Hunter stood quietly aside. "Well, Titivillus is a demon." "Yeah." "And he is evil." "Uh hu." "And Jared has a holy stilt now, and you're holy." "And what about your part." "Well, I just got in a new set of contemporary gospel hymns on CD, and I figured thatif I run it through my Progg (TM) blaster it should reach an intensity level adequate for use as a weapon..." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 2000/01/27 23:28 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy Exodus 8:2 "But wait a minute," said Godboy. "Titiviluus is still in Hell." "What?" asked Progger. "No. That can't be right. He possessed Carol Coventry to commit the earlier Sodexho Slasher murders. The Sodexho Slasher has returned. It must be him." "No I checked up on him after I left you last time," said Godboy. "I wanted to be sure that he wouldn't try to get revenge on you guys." "Awww, how sweet," said the Hunter. "You care about our well-being." "No actually I just didn't want you guys calling me to take care of your problems for you," replied Godboy. "I'm too all-powerful. You guys meet a real challenge and you get scared and call me. Well not this time, bud. Titivillus is still in hell, so I'm outta here." "WAIT!" screamed Progger to stop Godboy from evaporating. "How do you know Titivillus is still in Hell?" "Well it's part of the demonic code of conduct," explained Godboy. "If humans defeat you once, you're banished to Hell for retraining beforethey let you back up into the real world. But if you're defeated TWICE by humans, they demote you to Lucifer's shoeshine boy and you get stuck there for at least a millenia." The Hunter let out a terror-filled yelp. "But it's a NEW millenium now! He's going to come and take my stilt away!" "No he's not, moron. He's got a thousand years of punishment left, said Godboy. "see?" and with a wave of his hand, Godboy opened a portal into hell so the heroes could see that Titivillus was indeed still there and licking the boots of Satan. "Now leave me alone," said Godboy as he closed the portal. "If you ever call me again, I will smite all your territory with frogs." And with that he disappeared. "So what now?" asked the Hunter. "I guess we better just let this Sodexho Slasher thing wait, and instead go and help Vacuumboy beat Jan-I-Tor. I'll try to figure out just who the Sodexho Slasher is later." "Hey!" said Jared excitedly. "Since we're dirtying up the floors, does that mean I can smash some stuff in the halls?" "I don't know..." "Oh, come on..." whined the Hunter. "It'll make a big mess!" "Alright!" said Progger, caving under the weight of the Hunter's forceful whines. As Jared ran off to get his stilt, Progger was left to contemplate to himself, "Maybe Carol was never the Sodexho Slasher at all. Maybe Titivillus' arrival was mere coincidence and the real Sodexho Slasher was just lying in wait for a while." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 2000/02/10 22:36 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter No me gusta los borrachos. While he was contemplating, however, work was at foot. Everyone had developed a personal strategy for making the floors messy. Murray, being the ladies' man that he was, took care of gaining allies on the female floors. He soon had them dirtying their own floors. The Hunter decided that glass would sure be hard to clean up, so he roamed the floors bashing mirrors (the Hunter tends not to be superstitious) and the glass coverings for the fire hoses. Vacuumboy keyed onto the few locked floors and spread toilet paper and papertowels all over the restrooms. He was also pleasantly surprised (at least temoporarily) to see that without Jan-I-Tor's control the less intelligent residents had returned to urinating on the floors. Chopper practiced slapshots in the halls, leaving black streaks on walls everywhere. He also found, as he was moving from one floor to the next, that he could get some pretty good richocets in the stairwells. Chet simply went around doing what he did best...stealing the cleaning supplies. Finally, the Progger finished contemplating and got in on the action. Realizing that it was an unseasonably warm day, he grabbed a volleyball and a couple of friends and headed to the sand court. He was soon, just as he expected, pushed off of the court by guys from the second and third floors along with their fifth floor groupies. Progger walked away smiling as he thought of how difficult all of that sand would be to remove from the carpet. By the time the group reconvened, they found that Licko had heard of the plan and joined them by greasing everything, although they doubted it was intentional... ================================================================================ >:::The following added 2000/02/21 15:13 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter Lost in a world of organization. At that point it was kind of late, and the heroes were kind of hungry. "Let's get some food," suggested the Hunter. "Too late," said Vacuumboy. "I'm going to bed." "Me, too," said Chopper. "I'll go," said Chet and Progger almost simultaneously. "Jinx, owe me a coke," said Chet. "Nuh uh," replied Progger. "Oh well, I stole one from you earlier today anyway." "Murray? Licko?" asked the Hunter. Licko replied the negative, and Murray informed the others that he had promised to spend some time on the female floors in return for their cooperation. The Hunter, Chet, and the Progger left for the best after hours restaurant in Cape, Cafe Cape... They arrived moments later to find a dark building and an empty parking lot. "By the breading of my cheesesticks, this better be a mistake," exclaimed the Hunter. "I'll check," said Chet... "It's never open past 10:00 anymore," Chet informed the others when he got back." "This must be the work of the Sodexo Slasher," said the Hunter. "WHAT???" asked the Progger? "Yeah, how does that work?" asked Chet. "Return of an evil entity obsessed with food and the closing of my favorite eatery. The two must be related. Right..."