================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/11/06 15:22 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter But Tia AND Tamera wear them.... A few days later Uht was forced to face the truth. EVIL (Exceptionally Vile International League) was down to three members. He called in both the European Euchlidian/Octagonal Charlie and the South American Symbiant/the Glove. It was time for a discussion of strategy. "Ok, guys," began Uht, "we've got a problem. The others are all dead. They have to be, because they've been gone too long, and if they had joined the heroes they would've already been here to attack." "They could've simply run away," pointed out the Glove. "They wouldn't dare, I would find them and destroy them," said Uht with out even trying to hide the threat intended in his statement. "What do we do now?" asked the European Euchlidian. "We aren't exactly the most battle skilled members of the team." "That will soon be remedied. I need the Progger and the Hunter alive for now, so I can't absorb their powers. However, with these clones of their bodies we will have a new angle on the heroes if they somehow learned that their friends were still alive. If they haven't, then we will simply have a more battle ready unit." With that, the bodies of Octagonal Charlie and the Glove were discarded. The soul of the European Euchlidian, hacker extrodinaire, resided in the body of the Progger, genius inventor. The South American Symbiant, capable of draining energy from anyone, friend or foe, now resided in the body of the Hunter, strength definitely included. "Here is the blaster we took from the Pogger. And, here is a stilt that will suffice, Symbiant. Now we are ready," said Uht... ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/11/07 20:51 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter But Tia AND Tamera wear them.... Meanwhile, Vacuumboy had been informed of the situation that the heroes faced. "The best villains from around the world in the guise of heroes, eh?" said Vacuumboy in more of a puzzled statement than a real question. "That's what we said, you idiot," replied Chopper. "Anyway," continued Vacuumboy after deciding to ignore Chopper's disrespectful attitude, "at least we know to be suspicious of anyone resembling a dead superhero, although that should've been suspicious to begin with after the last clone incident." "Hunter and Progger got captured, so there's no reason to lecture us," said Chet. "They're in the Johnson Faculty Center...we could attack now," said Vacuumboy. "Whatsa about yousa hiding, scaredy boy?" asked Fanboy. "We'll only be able to keep that up for so long, but it is true that we shouldn't tip our hand yet," said Vacuumboy. "The three of you should do some recon of the JFC while Murray protects the floor and then report back to me..." "Who left him in charge?" asked Chopper as the three not hiding heroes left. "He and the Hunter have always been in charge," replied Recklessboy. "Oh yeah," sighed the newly egotistical Chopper... ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/11/10 19:12 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter But Tia AND Tamera wear them.... As the heroes were planning, the villainous members of EVIL were doing the same thing. "We can either choose to take them by surprise just by attacking," said the European Euclidian."Or, we can pretend to have escaped." "If we pretend to have escaped, then we can learn their secrets before destroying them," suggested the Symbiant. "After we destroy them, their secrets won't matter," countered the Euclidian. "They may have information about other secret hero stuff that will be useful even when they are gone," replied the villain from South America. "I can hack anything they've saved electronically, even you can read anything they've got in hard copy, and the only one smart enough to actually remember important stuff is in the dungeon." "I still think..." "Shut up!" yelled Uht. "When did this become a committee? I'm still in charge here. The two of you are going to try to infiltrate the team." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/11/10 19:21 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter But Tia AND Tamera wear them.... "Wipe that silly grin off of your face, Symbiant. It's not for any of the stupid reasons you came up with. I want their equipment. The Euchildian can hack any information we need, but even in the Progger's body, he doesn't have his skills of invention. We need that equipment, and I am sure that it all has self-destruct mechanisms that we must learn about or else lose it just as we lost the Love Chicken when Vacuumboy died. They will sacrafice themselves to keep their weapons from us." "Are you sure?" asked the Euchlidian. "The others never seemed as brave or insightful as those we've already captured or destroyed." "They may have learned something from being on their own, and besides, I say we're infiltrating so we are, and there," said Uht firmly... ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/11/10 19:27 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter But Tia AND Tamera wear them.... Meanwhile, in the dungeon... "I'd do it for you..." "No you wouldn't..." "Would too" "You're can't even regenerate..." "If I could I sure wouldn't quibble over a few hours of pain." "Just shut up..." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/11/17 19:28 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter But Tia AND Tamera wear them.... Soon, the lesser heroes were reporting back to Vacuumboy... "It's true," insisted Chet. "Can't be..." "We were there," said Chopper. "You were confused..." "Meesa saw it with mine own eyeses," offered the Annoying Fan Boy. "O.K.," said Vacuumboy, "so if it is true, then why haven't they already moved. They have all the information. If the people you saw talking to Uht over coffee when you were spying through the window were really the Progger and the Hunter, then why am I still safely hidden away." "Who said you were safely hidden away?" asked Chet thoughtfully. "I'm the last real threat to them, so they would've wanted me out of the way," replied Vacuumboy. "That's debatable," countered Chopper. "He may have just won them over and is planning to win you over, too, or maybe he already has won you over," observed Chet. "Thatsa stupida," said the Annoying Fanboy. "Unless you're in on it too," said Chopper. "Better safe than sorry," said Chet as he grabbed Vacuumboy and bound him with a stolen steel cable. "Very true. We'll release you when it is safe for us to do so," said Chopper as he bound Annoying Fanboy (who would've gotten away if not for tripping on his ears) with some of Chet's cable. And then, Chet and Chopper put the two heroes under suspicion in a closet and left to collect Murray back on the seventh floor... ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/11/20 14:37 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy's webpage= http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/1142 When they reached Progger's room, they were almost vaporized by the laser trap Murray had set up. "Hey!" screamed Chopper, angry that his equipment had been singed by the blast. "Why didn't you turn it off? You knew it was us!" "How was I supposed to know for sure?" said Murray. "Villaina have been impersonating heroes throughout this whole adventure." "Oh YEAH!" shouted chet who was having a revelation. "That must not have been the real Jared and Progger we saw. They were clones." "what are you talking about?" asked Murray. After Chet had filled him in, Murray stated, "surely they were just clones. Only the goalies go bad on this team." He eyed Chopper wearily. "What?" asked Chopper. "Nothing," replied Murray. "but my question is are the Hunter and Progger dead, or just captured?" "Well we can't say for sure about Jared," RecklessBoy mentioned, "but if Progger had died, wouldn't he have come back to life here?" Then, as if in answer to his question, the lights in Towers flickered, Progger's CD snapped on, and Progger popped into existence in the middle of the room. "Ouch! That took a little longer than I thought it would," he said to himself before looking around at his fellow heroes A seconds earlier, in the dungeon in the basement of the JFC, Progger had suddenly thought of something and jumped to his feet. "Eureka!" "What?" "I will kill myself, Jared," said Progger. "I've thought of a fool-proof way to do it!" "Better than biting your tongue off and choking on it?" "Yes, moron! You see, since the walls are elctrified, and my tarp is electrified, if I throw myself against the wall, the resulting alternating current should fry me instantly! Watch!" Progger ran towards the wall and slammed himself into it. Sure enough, the resulting mixture of electrical fields fried him dead, but only after he writhed in agony there for several seconds as the voltage passed through his body and left him a smoltering charred mass of burnt flesh. Uht screamed when the lights flickered. "What's that nasty smell?" he shouted. "It smells like grilled hot dogs," said one of his two villainous cohorts. "It's coming from the dungeon," said the other. The three villains ran down to the basement as quick as they could and threw open the dungeon door. "Progger found a way around your plan, master UHT!" screamed one of Uht's cohorts as they both charged towards the fried corpse. "NO!" shouted Uht. "His tarp's electrical field is still activated!" But the warning came to late, as the two villains also got fried when they got too close to the Progger's tarp-wrapped body. "Morons," said Uht as he stepped slowly over to them and engulfed their souls for his own as they died. Jared took the opportunity of Uht's feasting to flee out the open dungeon door. When Uht was done eating, he noticed the Hunter had escaped, screamed, and followed after him. As Progger finished explaining what he had gone through in the dungoen to his fellow heroes, the lights flickered in Towers again. "Hope that wasn't Jared following suit," said Progger. "Well, now that youre here, let's go after Uht!" said Murray. "Chet, Chopper, and I will, but you need to stay here and guard the floor in case he attacks here," said Progger. Murray groaned and reluctantly agreed. As the heroes left the room, Murray reset the laser to fire again when the door opened and sat back down on the desk. As Progger and the others ran into the lounge t catch the elevator, they found Licko there watching the Weather Channel. "Where are you guys headed?" Licko asked. Progger was too preoccupied to notice Licko's coherence and replied, "We've got to take out Uht." Licko turned back to the TV screen as the forecaster predicted unseasonable heat and a total lack of rain for the entire midwest for two months. The elevator arrived then, and Licko turned back to his friends as they got on the elevator. "It is time. I will be there to aid you directly, but first I must contact a friend to help me complete the weather nexus ceremony." "You do that, Licko," Progger said to him as the doors shut. Then, as the elevator went down, Progger realized. "Hey, wait a minute..." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/11/20 16:23 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy's webpage= http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/1142 As the elevator reached the bottom floor of Towers Complex, Progger was saying to his fellow heroes, "remind me from now on to carry a cyanide capsule in a false tooth, ok? I don't want to get locked in a room with Hunter for days again without someway to escape." The heroes were headed up Cardiac towards the Johnson Faculty Center when Jared came hurtling down the hill at tremendous speed and plowed them all down. "Jared!" shouted Chet as he picked himself up and dusted himself off. "You're alright!" "Uht's right behind me!" Jared screamed. "We've got to be ready!" Just then Licko appeared alongside a man dressed in full Native American ceremonial gear. "We wil be prepared!"" he said. "What the heck's going on, Licko?" asked Progger. "Another weather nexus has come to Cape Girardeau, and we are here to harnass its power against your foe," Licko explained. "Is that why it's been so hot for the past few weeks, even though it's November?" asked RecklessBoy. "Yes, but that will soon end," said Licko. "How?" asked Chopper. "How," replied the indian. "Me am Chef Takhomasak of the Kiowa tribe. Me heep big Native American stereotype here to perform rain dance with Greased-Up-Pig-Hard-To-Catch." "Who?" asked Jared. "your bumpy young friend here, the one you call Licko." "Oh." Licko and Chief Takhomasak stepped aside to begin the rain dance just as Uht appeared before them. "did you honestly think you could escape me, Hunter?" screamed the enraged Soul Slurper as it reverted to its true form, snout and all. "It's impossible to flee from my power." The Soul Slurper quickly grabbed the Hunter and, before anyone could attack and stop him, he stuck his snout to Jared's head and slurped away. "I am unstoppable!" he screamed as he dropped Jared's lifeless husk to the ground and began to laugh maniacally. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/11/21 00:32 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy's webpage= http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/1142 "No!" screamed Chopper as he flew into a berserker rage. He dropped six pucks to the ground and fired each one at Uht's head. But Uht, using his prodigy powers, deflected each shot effortlessly and sent them hurtling back at Chopper, who was instantly knocked out as each blow hit him in the chest and took the wind from him. Meanwhile at the base of the hill Licko and Chief Takhomasak began to dance and the sky turned grey. "Why was Chopper so mad?" RecklessBoy thought to himself as he searched his pockets for weapons. "He didn't care the last time Jared was killed. Oh well. Guess I need to take Uht out now." He pulled a twenty pound dumbbell out of his pants and sent it flying toward Uht. But Uht caught it in mid-air and, using Jared's strength, crushed it into a little ball. chet, seeing this feat of Herculean strength, screamed and fainted. The sky filled with dark clouds and it began to sprinkle lightly. The temperature dropped ten degrees almost instantly. Progger shouted to Uht, "We'll stop you yet, fiend!" but his cry was quickly muffled by a pair of blue jeans which Uht, using the Denim Denizen Jr.'s power, materialized upon his head. Progger passed out due to lack of air. Uht laughed maniacally and removed the Progger's pants. He stuck out his snout and it made contact with the Progger's head, and he still continued to gloat. Suddenly a loud crash of thunder was heard. Uht stopped, knowing that such an occurence was rare in Cape, he listened to see if it would repeat itself. And it did. A bolt of lightning flashed down from the clouds overhead and struck Uht with such force that he was instantly destroyed. Rain poured down from the heavens and woke the heroes in time to see each of the souls the Slurper had devoured fly off into the sky, including Jared's. Licko thanked Chief Takhomasak for coming and helping bring the weather nexus into being, but chief Takhomasak was confused by the greasy monster's unintelligible mumblings and simply walked away. Progger stared off into the heavens, wondering about the fate of Jared's soul, and wept, knowing that the Hunter had been taken before his time. "Don't cry, Progger," Chet consoled him. "He's surely gone to a better place." Progger stopped crying. "A better place? That's it! I know how to save the Hunter!" Vacuumboy and Annoying Fanboy sat tied up in the inflatable closet of VB's secret underground lair when suddenly Vacuumboy felt a strange urging. He listened intently and could almost hear Towers calling out to him. It was his janitorial sense, telling him that South was in danger. Doing the only thing he knew to do, Vacuumboy thought with all his might and summoned his trusty vacuum to him. It activated itself and sucked away the closet door ad Vacuumboy's bonds. "YAY!" shouted Annoying Fanboy. "Meesa so glad to be free! Meesa... WEEeauuGuGGhHHH!" He was interrupted by the pull of the vacuum as it sucked him into the next dimension. "oops," Vacuumboy thought to himself as he mentally switched the vacuum off. "Well I'll set him free later. Right now, SOUTH needs me!" and he rushed off toward his janitorial domain. Progger explained what he needed to do as he walked down the hall with Licko, Chet, and Chopper toward his room. "When we had that run-in with the demon last year, we had to call on Godboy to help us, right?" "Yeah," nodded Chet. "So when he left after that adventure, he gave me a way to contact him should we ever again deal with an unholy threat." "Uh-huh," agreed Chopper. "Well, if Jared has been sent into the afterlife before his time, that's unholy, isn't it?" "GraAAAl!" Licko answered. "So he can help us!" said Progger as he opened the door to his room. "All I have to do is call." Progger was instantly vaporized by Murray's laser beam. "Oh my god!" shouted Murray. "I killed Progger! I'm such a bastard." Meanwhile in the lower levels of South, a robot was sweeping out the bathroom of the third floor as a drunken moron entered and began to urinate all over the toilet seat. "Please refrain from expelling bowel fluids onto my clean toilets," said the android. "Who the hell are you?" the drunken moron asked as he continued to urinate. "Our regular janitor just cleans up after us, no questions asked. He does'nt preach to us about cleanliness." "Your regular maid, Vacuumboy, is missing, presumed dead. I am the replacement sent by the university, Jan-I-Tor." "Well, Jan-I-Tor, I have just one thing to say to you." And with that the drunken moron turned and began urinating on the robot. "Your slovenly behavior is bothersome, but I forgive you," said the robot plainly. "In fact here is a gift." The robot opened up a compartment inside its back and pulled out a sleeveless vest. "Hey this is one of those cool things I saw Tia and Tamera wearing on the teevee," said the drunken moron, who snatched it from the robot and put it on quickly. "Yes it is called a tech vest, and once you put it on, you will become my slave," said the robot. "Wha-- Must keep things clean. Must not make a mess." The drunken moron got on his knees and began cleaning his urine off of the toilet bowl, wiping it off with his shirt. "Good," said Jan-I-Tor. "Cleanliness is perfection. You cannot resist." The robot putted off down the hall to clean the mirrors and left the moron there scrubbing the toilets. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/11/22 00:07 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy's webpage= http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/1142 Progger and his fellow heroes stood around his bed staring at the fallen corpse of the Hunter. "dude, we can't leave that thing here forever," said Chet, holding his nose. "It's starting to stink." "Yeah, why did we have to bring it up to your room anyway?" asked Chopper, who had removed his goalie mask to also hold his nose. "Because if Godboy finds out that Jared died before his time, his soul is going to need a vessel to come back to," explained Progger, holding his nose too. "I WISH I HAD HANDS!" screamed Murray who, overcome by the stench and powerless against it, fled the room as fast as his legless torso could carry him. "I redesigned my bed so it doubles as a cryo chamber," said the Progger. "all I have to do is keep him onice 'til Godboy gets back." He pushed a button on the side of the bed and Jared's corpse sank down into the mattress. "Phew!" said RecklessBoy, releasing his nostrils. "much better." "I'll go get my Febreeze to get rid of the rest of the scent," said Chopper. Just then Godboy appeared before Progger. "Well I have good news and bad news," he said. "Good news," said RecklessBoy. "Well according to my contacts in Heaven's secretarial pool, Jared's death was a clerical error and they'd be only too happy to send him back," said Godboy. "and the bad news?" asked Progger. "they can't send him back," said Godboy. "They don't have him." "what do you mean?" "He didn't go to Heaven. He went to the other place." "Why?" asked Chet. "How the heck should I know? Maybe he's secretly a pedophile," said Godboy. "Secretly?" said Chet. "so how do we get him back?" "The only way is to actually go there and get him ourselves," said Godboy. Progger tunred to chet and stared at him. "Don't look at me," said Chet and he ran out of the room. "Well then I guess it's just you and me then," said Progger. He reached over to the CD player and unplugged it. "so what do I have to do?" "Just die with sins on your head, and your soul will start the journey. I'll catch up pretty quick," said Godboy. Just then Murray and Chopper came back in. Chopper sprayed the bottle heavily into the air for several minutes, until it was completely empty. Then he took several deep breaths before saying, "Ah. That's much better. Such a fresh aroma." Progger turned to Murray then and said, "I've got to go on a little trip and I need you to do me a favor." "Sure." "In twenty-four hours, I want you to plug this CD player back in. That should bring me back here." "Guess that's it then," said Progger. He moved toward the window and sighed. "See you on the bottom floor," he said to Godboy and then he turned and jumped out the window. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/11/22 18:45 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter But Tia AND Tamera wear them.... and, by the time he hit the ground, the Progger's language alone was plenty to send on his way to the pits of hell... ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/12/03 10:47 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy's webpage= http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/1142 Moments after Progger hit the ground, one of Jan-I-Tor's slaves was outside hosing his guts off the pavement. Vacuumboy arrived then with his trusty vacuum in hand and approached the tech vest-wearing student. "Excuse me," Vacuumboy said. "what are you doing?" "Must clean," said the poor young girl in the orange sleeveless vest. "why are you doing this work and not one of the janitors?" "We are all one in cleanliness. Jan-I-Tor commands it," said the girl as she moved the hose back and forth over Progger's intestines, washing them down toward Geronimo's. "OK" Vacuumboy said confusedly as he walked away and headed into the building. Once he was gone, the slave began speaking into the lapel of her vest. "Master, the prodigal returns." Somewhere in the depths of the catacombs beneath South, surrounded by trash bags and bed frames, Jan-I-Tor awoke and responded. "He is a threat to our cleanliness. He must be stopped." He grabbed his cleaning supplies and headed out to confront Vacuumboy on his home turf, his own floor, Seven, the dirtiest and most despised by all janitors. Meanwhile, in the underworld, Progger was being used as a chew toy by one of Cerebrus' three heads when Godboy arrived. Cerebrus' first and third heads began to bark at him, while the second continued to slobber and gnaw on Progger's soul. but with a wave of Godboy's hand, Cerebrus stopped, dropped Progger, and ran happily off in the other direction. "you certainly took your time getting here," Progger said as he started cleaning himself off. "Hey, Robin Williams may have made it look easy for someone to get into hell in What Dreams May Come, but it's not. all the paperwork I had to fill out... sheesh!" replied Godboy. Progger giggled and said, "wet dreams may come... he he he." then he composed himself and asked, "How did you get that thing to let me go?" "I made it think I had thrown a really huge stick in that direction. Now come on. We need to get out of here before he comes back without out. He'll be plenty pissed." "Hey, watch the language," Progger said. "I thought you were supposed to be holy." "Sorry," said Godboy. "It's the environment here. It's f#$%ing with my head. Let's go." And the two of them headed off in the direction of the river Styx. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/12/08 19:59 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter But Tia AND Tamera wear them.... Meanwhile, finding no one on the floor, Vacuumboy keyed into the Hunter's room, waded through the piles of clothing, dug out the couch and layed down behind a pile of books and papers. "I'll just take a nap here while I wait for them to return or for something to set off my janitorial sense." Just as Vacuumboy was drifting off, three of Jan-I-Tor's tech vest zombies were moving on to the next designated top priority clean-up job. "This one is on the 7th floor," said the girl in the pink vest. "It must be really bad," said the boy in the blue vest. "Why is that?" asked the androgynous being in the gray vest. "Because," said the boy in blue, "the room assigned to the Hunter is scheduled for complete and total cleansing...from the outside..." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/12/09 00:05 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter But Tia AND Tamera wear them.... Meanwhile, Progger and Godboy had reached the river Styx only to find another problem...they didn't have any money... "Wha' d'ya mean you ain't go' no monay?"asked the underworld's boatman in an accent that would've fit in perfectly with Monty Python. "Exactly that," said the Progger, "we didn't bring any cash. What was in my pockets seems to have stayed in the land of the living." "O' course i' did ya ijiot, wha' d'ya think it's suppose ta go under ya bloomin' tounge fo?" responded the ghostly rower. "I don't get it," the Progger said to Godboy. "Why is it so hard to get into hell. If it takes all of this planning and preperation why does anyone ever end up here?" "Simple, he's not allowed to turn those who really belong here away due to lack of money, but anyone that he feels has an alterior motive he can charge for entry. As rarely as someone comes here on purpose, he's sure to charge. He's a wonderful judge of character, this guy." "Yeah," said the boatman, "me first clue was when ya walked 'ere willinly like instead o' being dragged 'ere kickin' 'n screamin' by tha' mangey muut o'er theere." "What do we do?" asked Progger of no one in particular. "I recommend ya find some blo'y monay is wha' I recommend," said the boatman. "We could swim," said Godboy, "but if you don't make it your soul will be stuck here." "What's going to happen? Am I going to drown? I'm already dead." "Not exactly, but there are creatures in that river much like the one that killed the Hunter, and if they get you it is over, you won't be able to reform." "Then where do I get money?" asked a now desperate Progger. "There's no monay down 'ere 'cept wha's mine, and ya ain't getting that just sos ya ken give i' right back ta me, ya ain't." "He's right," said Godboy, "you can either swim or wait till you are called back, get the money, and try again." "Why can't you just go get the money?" asked Progger. "Because I can't transport items that way, it's against the rules..." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/12/09 02:24 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter But Tia AND Tamera wear them.... and, as the Progger stood on the River Styx pondering the decision between making a swim for his soul or going through a second trip to Hell while the Hunter's soul remained in jeopardy, Jan-I-Tor and his three zombies converged from different directions on the room where Vacuumboy slept hidden by a pile of clutter that most people couldn't accumulate in a lifetime, but which the Hunter had amassed in sixteen weeks... ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/12/09 13:47 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy's webpage= http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Highrise/1142 "Begin cleansing!" Jan-I-Tor ordered his minions. Each of the minions strapped on a flamethrower and lit it as Jan-I-Tor's master key attachment stretched out and unlocked the Hunter's door. Inside Vacuumboy stirred as his janitorial sense alerted him to danger. But, in the midst of a dream, he merely turned over and covered himself further with a pile of the Hunter's half-shirts. Jan-I-Tor's master key retracted back into his pelvis. He pushed the door open and his three minions stepped to the doorway and aimed their flamethrowers inside. "I have to do everything around here, don't I?" said Godboy. He snapped his fingers and a fish jumped out of the water and onto the land beside Progger. "what the heck's this?" asked Progger. "Open its mouth." He did so and found inside an antique buffalo nickel. "cool!" shouted Progger and handed it to the boatman. The ferryman inspected it carefully and then said, "This 'ere coin would fetch some serious quid with the coin collectors on eBay, it would." He then motioned for Progger and Godboy to step aboard. As the ferryman set the boat on its way, Progger said to Godboy, "Thanks for the assistance there." Godoby blushed humbly and said, "Oh, nothing to it. You know, just giving to God what is God's and to Charon what is Charon's." "So do you have any idea where Jared might be?" "Not really," said Godboy. "Maybe the ferryman will. Ask him." Progger nervously tapped Charon on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, but you haven't by chance seen a shirtless hulk around here lately, have you?" "the 'unter?" asked Charon. "O' course oiy kno 'oo the blo'y 'unter is. 'e's a bloomin' legend 'round 'ere, 'e is." "what? Why?" asked Godboy. "well, 'e's one of those, you know, 'ero types, idn't 'e?" "Yeah, so?" said the Progger. "Yeah tha's 'im, awlroyt," said Charon. "'E caused a big row when 'e got 'ere, 'e did. Sayin' "Neho, neho, oiy don't belong 'ere" and such. And 'e was royt. Seems there was a clerical error, y'see." "We know all this," said Godboy. "we're here to take him back." "Oiy wou'nt be too sure o' that there, bloke," said Charon. "Once Titiviluus got 'old o' 'him, 'e started 'avin' a fit, 'e did. Said he wanted to get revenge for somethin' 'appened upstairs, y'know. But the 'igher-ups, Lucifer and his chums, they ordered Titivillus to give the guy up. The last thing we need down 'ere is some of them blee'in' angels pokin' theys noses 'round." "so did he let Jared go?" asked the Progger. "'E said 'e'd let the 'unter go when 'e could make a snowball." "Take us to Titivillus," said Godoby angrily, "Oh bloo'y... you're 'ere on be'aff o' the big Guy, idn't ya? Oh, all 'ell is gonna break loose over this one, believe you me." Charon changed the boat's course and started sailing down a tributary. "Godboy, what's the matter?" asked Progger. "You've got this awful look on your face." Godboy continued scowling. "Remember the demon that possessed Carol coventry?" "Yeah..." "It was Titivillus. We're going to have to face him down to rescue Jared, and he'll be more powerful here in his home realm," explained Godboy. "Shite," said Charon. "you boys are in mighty big trubul, you are. titivillus 'as been torch'rin' that boy since 'e arroived." "Torturing him how?" gulped Progger. "Well ya know 'ow the boy don't like goin' around fully dressed?" siad Charon. "Well, titivillus 'as been bundlin' 'im up in six or seven layers o' clothes, ya see. As if the 'eat down 'ere wad't bad enough, royt?" "You're right," said Progger, fanning himself. "It sure is hot down here." He smacked his lips twice. "I'm so dry. Must have a drink." Progger leaned over and stuck his head in the water below the boat. "PROGGER! NO!" Godboy grabbed Progger and pulled his head out of the river. "This is the river Lethe, the river of forgetfulness. If you drink from these waters..." "Oh OK I won't do that then," said Progger. He then looked around and said, "where are we going again?" Godboy sighed. "Great. that's just great." Progger started taking off his shirt and dipping it into the river, saying, "Hot. So hot." "Hot! HOT!! HOTHOT HOTHOTHOT!" screamed Vacuumboy as the half-shirts above him suddenly caught fire. He jumped up from his cover to find the whole room ablaze. "There!" shouted Jan-I-tor from the doorway. "The defiler! The dirty one who lives in this room! He must be punished for his heinous crimes!" Jan-I-Tor's minions stopped torching the fire hazard that the Hunter calls a loft and aimed their flamethrowers at Vacuumboy.