================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/09/23 23:11 by JY01STU >:: Vacuum boy I like Kevin Bacon but I hate Footloose It was not only unjust. It was also rather unusual, because suicides although technically an unlawful act are not normally brought to justice for it. For, you see, the frat boys had killed the most annoying organism "in hero," a phrase they had adopted to mean themselves. You see, Hero was a priestess of the Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite. They themselves being Greeks and considering themselves great lovers, they had begun to describe themselves while drunk and horny as "in hero," or "irresistible to women." But upon seeing Jar Jar they realized that even a creature as annoying as he is was much cooler than they would ever be, because even though he was as equally annoying as they were, at least he knew George Lucas. And so, just as Hero had, they drown themselves in the Mississippi River. However, their blood alcohol levels were so high that upon impact with the water, the entire river was contaminated irrevocably, changed from the crystal clear waters it had previously been into toxic sludge. The frat boys' corpses were blamed for the pollution and the people of Cape, not being too bright, demanded they pay for the clean-up. when they couldn't (because they were dead), they were unjustly thrown in jail and left there to rot. And rot they did. Meanwhile, Annoying Fanboy had returned from Taco Bell with food for Vacuumboy as well. During his long walk he had realized what a good friend Vacuumboy was for putting up with him, and that he should be commended for listening to the Fanboy's retelling of the Day of Judgment crossover storyline. So Vacuumboy and Annoying Fanboy happily munched on beef burritos and were completely unaware of the troubles Chet, Murray, and Chopper were about to get into. "What'd you say, Murray?" asked Chet. "I said, I found a clue." Murray replied from behind the seat. "Well what is it?" asked Chopper. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/09/25 00:24 by JY01STU >:: Vacuum boy I like Kevin Bacon but I hate Footloose "I don't know," said Murray. "I can't see it all the way." Chet peered over the seat at Murray and said, "Well grab it and I'll pull you out of there." "I can't reach it," said Murray. "why not?" asked Chopper the Goalie III. "It's right there." "Because I don't have any hands, moron!" "Geez, get all upset about it, why don'tcha?" said Chopper. "How am I supposed to keep track of how many body parts you have when it changes all the time?" "But you were a full torso before," said RecklessBoy. "Yes, but my hands got cut off in the accident, see?" explained murray, holding his bloody stumps out toward Chet. "now help me out of here." Chet reached down and grabbed Murray's arms to pull him up from behind the seat. But the blood from where Murray's hands had been made his arms very slippery and Chet dropped him. "Sorry, said Chet. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/09/25 00:25 by JY01STU >:: Vacuum boy I like Kevin Bacon but I hate Footloose "Hey look," said the Goalie III. "When you dropped Murray it knocked the clue loose and onto the floorboard." And all three heroes looked down at the clue and saw... ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/09/25 14:29 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter Another Victim of the System! ...a minature Canadian flag and a souvenir hockey puck. "What does it mean?" asked Chet. "I don't know...does it mean that the Hunter was abducted by Aliens from Canada and finally gave up his love of football and basketball for Hockey and was considering moving to Canada where the hockey was pure?" proposed Chopper. "Shut up. The Hunter would never give up football, and besides, that puck is for the Vancouver Canucks.." said Murray, finally rescued from behind the seat. "What does that prove?" asked Chet. "I don't know, but it has to prove something," replied Murray defensively, "and it sure doesn't prove that the Hunter had decided to move to Canada 'where the hockey was pure.'" ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/09/28 23:59 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter Another Victim of the System! Meanwhile, back in the dungeon. "I know, if you bite the end of your tongue off and keep chewing, you'll eventually bleed to death." "No, Jared." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/10/04 19:51 by JY01STU >:: Vacuum boy I like Kevin Bacon but I hate Footloose "Wait a minute," said Chopper suddenly. "this is no ordinary puck." "What?" asked RecklessBoy as he was finishing bandaging up Murray's bloody stump. "What do you mean?" "Feel it," said the Goalie III. He stuck the puck out in Chet's direction. "Go on. Rub it." Chet reluctantly started stroking the puck, slowly at first then gradually harder. "Shouldn't this feel like rubber?" "Normally it should," said Chopper. "But this is harder." "If only I could touch it, i could tell you what it was," said Murray sadly, wishing he had hands with which to stroke the puck. "Maybe we should take it to Progger and have him look at it," said Chopper. "alright let's go," said Murray and the three of them walked back to Towers to the Progger's lab. But when they arrived, the Progger was nowhere to be found. "What's the deal here?" asked Murray. "Where are the guys at?" "Vacuumboy's in hiding and Progger's missing," said Chopper. "Something really screwy is going on." "Wait, Progger's probably just at VB's secret hq," said Chet. "Oh yeah!" said Murray. "Let's go!" ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/10/04 20:26 by JY01STU >:: Vacuum boy I like Kevin Bacon but I hate Footloose Meanwhile Uht was watching the movements of Chet, Chopper, and Murray closely on his radar screen. "Making the puck out of Herculaneum was a stroke of genius," Uht said to his lackey the Asian Assassin (in the body of Abnormal Fish) as he looked on. "Since I killed Vacuumboy in that explosion, the heroes have been less and less conspicuous around campus than before. I know they must secretly have a base somewhere else. This device I planted will lead us right to them. I'm so BRILLIANT!!" "Yesshs you are, masshster," said Abnormal Fish. "Why are you talking like that?" Uht asked his companion. "Well, sshsir, after you made me mine thosshse piecesshs of raw Herculaneum ore, my body began to deteriorate," explained the Asian Assassin. "Unfortunately, my condition is only getting worsshse." "Well, I'll just clone you a new body then," said Uht. "Now be quiet. The heroes are arriving at their new base." "What's the deal?" Vacuumboy asked the three heroes as Chet handed him the puck. "We found this with the Hunter's truck," said Chopper. "And where was the Hunter?" VB asked. "Oh yeah. He's dead." "oh. well then, where's the truck?" "I kinda wrecked it," said Chet sheepishly. "Nice going," said Vacuumboy saracstically. "sorry." "so you think this thing's a clue? why?" "'cause it's not made of regular puck material?" explained the Goalie III. "Ohsa nosa!" Annoying Fanboy screamed as he entered the room, carrying even more tacos for himself and VB. "Herculaneum!" "What?" cried Vacuumboy, surprised. "Is something wrong with the tacos?" "As long as mesa keep dem away from dat puck, no," said JarJar. "But dat thing bombas bad. It radioactive!" "Gah!" screamed Vacuumboy and he flung it across the room towards his inflatable fireplace. Chopper dived in front of the puck and blocked the shot. "nice save," said Murray. "thanks. it's what I do." "so how do you know it's radioactive?" Murray asked, turning his attention toward the Fanboy. "In Stupor-Man issue 387, da bad guys use big bombas pieca red Herculaneumto knock stupor-man out. luckily, hesa escape and save da day by..." "Well anyway we need to find out how this related to whoever killed Hunter and kidnapped Progger," said Chet. "Progger's missing too?" said Vacuumboy. "You guys sound like you need my help." "No, Vacuumboy," said the Goalie III. "You have to remain in hiding. " He turned to JarJar. "where's the nearest place the villains could have found herculaneum?" "Well in Capt. tough guy issue 31..." Chopper let loose his berserker rage. "WHERE??????" he screamed. "Ten miles south of Sikeston, only Herculaneum mine in area." "good, now we have to figure out how to get there," said Murray. "I'll let you take one of the Love Eggs if you promise two things," said Vacuumboy. "One, Murray drives." "I don't have any hands, VB." "Then Chopper drives, I guess. But he wrecked the old Lovechicken into a meteor when we were in space..." "That wasn't me. That was BJ the Goalie II." "Same difference." Vacuumboy contemplated it. "Well I guess you're the better choice over RecklessBoy." Chet shrugged and said, "I can't help it. It's my power." "And the second condition?" asked Murray. "Take him with you!" he shouted, referring to the Fanboy. "He'll be valuable. He knows the way. PLEASE!" Moments later the three heroes were driving away from Marvels and Legends with the hockey puck safely contained in a lead carrying case that was being held by a bound and gagged Fanboy, sitting as far away from them as they could put him in such a small shuttle. Uht had just finished cloning the Asian Assassin his new body whenhe noticed the heroes continuing their journey. "They musshst have sshstopped to talk to the Annoying Fanboy, masshster," said Abnormal Fish. "Sshshall I go capture him for quesshstioning?" Uht shuddered at the thought of having to deal with JarJar and said simply, "No I don't think he can give us any real info. We'll just follow their progress." Suddenly Uht realized something. "hey you're still lisping." "It'sshs becausshse you cloned me from a clone," explained the Asian Assassin. "I'm sshsuffering from cellular degeneration." "Oh well, you'll live," said Uht. He looked at the radar screen and surmised the heroes' destination. "They must be headed for the Herculaneum mine. You go there and stop them from finding out any information." "The Herculaneum mine? again?" Abnormal Fish moaned as he left their secret hq for the Herculaneum mine. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/10/04 22:44 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter Another Victim of the System! Mean while, back at in the dungeon: "If you just stop eating, you'll starve to death..." "Yeah, in a few days, won't that be pleasant. SHUT UP!!!" ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/10/12 16:00 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter Omniscient is a 3 syllable word. Meanwhile, the heroes had reached the mine near Sikeston. "What now?" asked Chopper. "Look for clues," said Murray. "What kind?" asked Chet. "I'm hoping that you'll know it when you see it, because I have no real idea what we should be looking for." "We could ask Annoying Fan Boy..." "We could, but we WON'T," stated Chopper assertively. "Chet should go into the mine, while we look around up here," said Murray. "Why?" asked a very disturbed Reckless Boy. "Because you and I are both virtually indestructable, but only you have all of your limbs in working order." "Ok," conceded Chet as he turned to enter the mine. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/10/14 17:12 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy June 9, 2001 And enter he did. Once he had moved inside the mouth of the cave that led down to the Herculaneum mine, Chet was almost instantly engulfed in darkness. "Weeauaggugh!" shouted RecklessBoy when he suddenly could see no further than an inch or two in front of his face. "Do you need help down there?" Murray shouted down to him from the mouth of the cave. "No, it's just taking my eyes a minute to adjust," RecklessBoy shouted back. Soon his pupils had become fully dilated and he could again see. The cave was not pitch black as he originally thought. Somewhere ahead of him, something was glowing a bright fuchsia color. Chet moved forward to investigate. As he stepped closer to the glowing portion of the cave, he tripped over a large stalagmite and screamed, "Gauuagh!" "Everything OK?" Chopper screamed down to him. The Goalie III's cry was feeble when it reached Chet's ears but he replied loudly, "I just tripped." But as RecklessBoy was standing up to dust himself off, he noticed that the stalagmite he had tripped on was also glowing. He looked closer at the rock and discovered that the luminescence was coming from small pebbles embedded just below the surface of the rock. "Good thing I swiped this out of the Hunter's room when he was taking that stupid one-hour activity course about spelunking," Chet thought to himself as he pulled a pick axe out of his pants and began chipping away at the rock. Moments later RecklessBoy had freed a small fuchsia-colored gem from beneath the surface. It shone so brightly that Chet could not take his eyes off it. "Nobody's around and this thing has got to be valuable," he thought to himself. "I'll just pocket this and no one will ever know." RecklessBoy was slipping the gem into his pocket, saying "Yoink" to himself as he did so, when someone scared him by tapping him on the shoulder. The word came out more like: "YoinNNKRAGUUGK!" "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Suoregnad oot s'ti," said the small man standing behind Chet, wearing a miner's hat and carrying a jackhammer. "What now?" mumbled Murray to himself when RecklessBoy's cry finally reached him moments later. He was about to shout down to Chet again when the Goalie III stopped him. "Do you hear that?" asked Chopper. "It sounds like it's coming from the Love Egg." And sure enough, as they stood there listening, they heard muffled screams coming from the shuttle parked only fifteen yards away. "Sshshut him up!" the Asian Assassin said to his villainous companion. "We will be disshscovered." "No problem," said the African Argonaut and he wrapped one enormous hand over the Fanboy's mouth, completely muffling his cries for help (and completely coveringhis entire head). "Much better," said the Asian Assassin. "Now we'll run thosshse heroesshs down and bring their lifelesshssshs bodiesshs back to our masshster Uht." "But I thought he wanted them alive," said the Learned Hand-inhabiting villain. "It doesshsn't matter," said the Abnormal Fish-inhabiting rogue. "Jusshst do asshs I sshsay!" "Oh, he stopped," said Chopper. "Wonder what was wrong." "Maybe we bound him to tight and he was having trouble breathing," said Murray. "Now he might be passed out due to lack of oxygen." "Oh." said the Goalie III. He looked at the Love Egg. Then he turned back toward the entrance to the mine. "Wonder how Chet's doing." "Sorry to scare you, youngster," said the hunched-over old miner. "It's alright," said Chet. "But why did you stop me from taking the gem?" "Because while it might look purty, that sucker's glow ain't just a nice shine," said the crusty old man. "It's radioactive." "What?" said Chet, unbelieving. "Yup. That thing there is pure Herculaneum ore. Used in tracking devices and tanning beds, it is. Been down here mining it since I was a wee lad." Skeptical, RecklessBoy asked, "If it's radioactive, how come you're not showing any side effects from it?" The miner replied, "Lla ta nosaer on rof sdrawkcab klat I semitemos. Stceffe edis gniwohs ma I." RecklessBoy's only reply was "oh." "Anyhoo," the old miner continued, "I'm only warning you 'cause that boy who was here last week didn't listen to me about overexposure and he left this place lisping like there's no tomorrow." "What? Who was it?" "I didn't catch his name, but he had a shortlong," said the miner. "That's a pretty good clue," RecklessBoy said to himself. "Not many people have shortlongs these days." Suddenly they heard a giant crash at the mouth of the cave. They ran to the entrance of the mine and discovered it blocked by the rear end of the Love Egg. "Well now what?" said RecklessBoy. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/10/17 17:41 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter Omniscient is a 3 syllable word. Meanwhile, back at the dungeon... "If you twist yourself into the right position, your air supply will be pinched off..." "Well....no, SHUT UP!!!." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/10/17 21:39 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy June 9, 2001 "what the heck happened?" Chopper asked Murray as he got up off the ground and brushed himself off. when he received no reply, he called out to his friend in concern. "Murray?" There was still no reply. chopper began to think to himself, "Now I'm worried. When the Love Egg suddenly sped toward us, it brushed me aside pretty easily, but I've had harder checks playing in the pee wee leagues. But Murray might have been seriously hurt." The Goalie III began to survey the area, looking on both sides and on top of the Love Egg, which now was wedged into the opening of the cave with only the front cabin sticking out. Finally Chopper looked under the vehicle and saw Murray trapped there, unconscious. Chopper shook Murray's head to wake him. "Hey!" he shouted. "Wake up! I need your help." Groggily, Murray opened his eyes and spoke. "Wh-What happened?" "The Love Egg ran over you." "How'd it happen?" "I don't know," said Chopper. "Maybe Annoying Fanboy accidentally knocked the shuttle into reverse trying to get out of his bonds or something." "That's not important, I guess. What matters most now is getting me out of here," Murray said calmly as he fully woke up. He looked down at his legs, which were totally pinned under the shuttle, and assessed the situation. "What do you want me to do?" asked Chopper. "Well, I guess the only thin you can do is live up to your name," said Murray. "Get in there and chop my legs off." "what?" "they're completely crushed under this thing, so it doesn't matter," said Murray. "They'll grow back eventually." "Ok, if that's what you want," said the Goalie III. And with one quick motion of his stick, he had freed Murray out from under the shuttle. "thanks, pal," said Murray as Chopper pulled the handless, legless, torso out from under it, leaving the legs behind, trapped. "You're a real friend." "Well now that you're free, we can work on trying to figure out what happened here," said the Goalie III. Suddenly a large hand smashed out the front windshield of the Love Egg and its owner jumped out in front of the heroes, followed closely by a large mass of flowing hair. "I think we can explain that," said a voice from under all the hair. "Abnormal fish?" said Chopper with surprise. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/10/26 11:58 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy So many tech vests, so few bullets "HSUP!!!" shouted the old miner. He and Chet shoved with all their might on the rear end of the Love Egg with all their might but it would not budge. "Dammit!" said RecklessBoy. "I don't want to be trapped down here forever." He sat down on the rear bumper of the Love Egg and thought about their predicament. "Do you know another way out of here?" Chet asked the miner. "Yaw taht nwod thgir tixe rehtona s'ereht, sey," explained the miner, pointing down into the cave. "So we're stuck then," said Chet. "that's just great." Chet put his head in his hands and pouted. "but you're dead," Chopper said to the Abnormal Fish. "True, the hero you knew asshs the Abnormal Fisshsh isshs no more," said the shortlong-haired villain. "But I am not he. I am merely resshsiding in a clone of hisshs body. In reality I am the Asshsian Asshssshsasshssshsin, a world-classhssshs sshsupercriminal." "But how did you..." started Murray. "How did thisshs happen to me, that I wasshs cloned and placed in thisshs body?" asked the Asian Assassin. "The ansshswer isshs sshsimple. Uht traveled the globe for sshseveral monthsshs gathering disshsciplesshs to mount a campaign of conquesshst acrosshssshs the globe. Hisshs sshscheme wasshs..." Suddenly the Goalie III went into a berserker rage. "SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU LISPY BASTARD!!!!!" He lunged forward at the Abnormal Fish with such freocity that Murray and the Learned Hand could do nothing but stand and watch in dumb awe. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/10/26 15:22 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy So many tech vests, so few bullets "I've got it!" exclaimed RecklessBoy. He pulled a coat hanger out of his pocket and began fiddling with the lock on the trunk of the Love Egg. "where'd you get that coat hanger from, boy?" asked the old miner. "Swiped it a couple weeks ago from a doctor's office," said RecklessBoy as he bent and reshaped the hanger in an attempt to fit it into the trunk's lock. "Didn't the doctor get mad when he found out it was missing," asked the miner. "He was more mad that I had thrown his coat on the floor," Chet grunted as he twisted and turned the hanger in the lock. There was a small click and Chet beamed, "Got it!" The old man watched in wonder as Chet opened the trunk and began pulling out golf clubs, jumper cables, and other such garbage out of the trunk. He warned Chet, "Rac sih otni gnikaerb uoy etaicerppa annog s'renwo eht kniht t'nod I." "oh, it's easy once you get the hang of it," replied Chet, thinking was asking how he got so good at B and E. "You do have to put in a lot of training to become a master klepto, but it pays off eventually with all the useless junk you lift." Chet had pulled so much junk out of the Love Egg's trunk that he could fit totally inside it. He popped out the access panel and ended up inside of the shuttle, in the passenger seats directly behind the main cockpit. The old miner followed him in and nearly stumbled over the unconscious body of Annoying Fanboy. "What the hell is that thing?" asked the old miner. "Keeg koob cimoc a dna, guls a, yppup a neewteb ssorc a ekil skool ti." "Fanboy!" said RecklessBoy. He checked for a pulse. "He's dead." Chet stood up then and said, "oh well. nothing we can do here. let's crawl up into the cockpit ad see if we can't try to get out of here and maybe find out who caused this accident." Annoying Fanboy sat up then and said, "Itsa Abnormal Fish and the Learned Hand." JarJar's startling rebirth startled Chet and the mner so much that they both screamed. "WeeEEAAuaegh!" said one. "HgeauAAEEeew!" said the other. Meanwhile outside of the cave, Chopper had sliced and hacked away at all of the Abnormal Fish's shortlong with his stick, until he was virtually scalped. Abnormal Fish could do nothing but cry for the lack of his hair. When he began weeping, the Goalie III turned his attention toward the Learned Hand. The Learned Hand trembled in fear, as he looked at Murray advancing toward him, dragging his bloody stump forward as Chopper too advanced. "No fair!" he screamed as the Goalie III got closer. "I'm outnumbered." "Like it was all that fair when you guys were going to attack us," said Murray. "With your hand and his hair, and me just a torso, it would've been like two and a half vs. one and a half." "Stop!" screamed the Learned Hand when Chopper grabbed him. "I'll tell you where Uht's holding Jared and Progger prisoner." Murray stopped Chopper from punching him in the nose. "Do you mean Jared's alive?" "Yes," said the Learned Hand. "It was just a cloned corpse, designed to fool you. We have the real Hunter held captive in our secret hideout." "Where is this secret hideout then?" shouted Chopper. "Tell me and I'll bash your brains in!" "OR you'll bash his brains in," corrected Murray. "Whatever." But before the terrified African Argonaut could reveal Uht's secret plan, the Asian Assassin snapped out of his weeping fit and hurled a throwing star at the Argnaut. It lodged itself in the vein of his one humongous hand and all of the blood in his body poured out of the gash almost instantly. "you'll never foil masshster Uht'sshs sshscheme," said the Asian Assassin as his body started to smoke. "We will yet be triumphant!" "dude, you're on fire," said Chopper, dropping the Argonaut's corpse into the puddle of blood at his feet. "Sshsay what?" asked the Assassin. He looked down at his body and saw the smoke. "Where isshs thisshs smoke coming from? My sshskin... it'sshs disshssshsolving! Sshsave me pleasshse." But the heroes could do nothing as his body began to quickly turn into liquid goo. "Oh, mining that ore hasshs been the end of me," he said as his legs liquified. "Uht isshs to blame for my demisshse!" His torso became sludge. "The asshsian Asshssshsasshssshsin isshsno more!" his arms dissolved leaving only a head. "Before I die, I musshst be revenged upon Uht. The sshsecret headquartersshs in which he isshs holding them hosshstage isshs located insshside..." "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" screamed Chopper, again berserking from listening to the lisp. He smashed the remaining head of the Asian Assasin repeatedly with his skate until it was merely a pulp. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/10/27 10:02 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy So many tech vests, so few bullets It was at the moment that chet, fanboy, and the miner were able to bust out the front windshield of the Love Egg and climb out to meet Murray and Chopper. "Oh, great timing there, guys," complained the Goalie III. "As soon as we're done fighting the villains, you just happen to be able to get out. That's awfully convenient." "Hctib a fo nos ynihw uoy, ffo ti kconk," said the old miner. "We did the best we could." "huh?" said Murray. "who the heck are you?" "I'm the only miner left working here at this here Herculaneum mine," said the miner. "Nella si eman ym." "Ok," said Murray with a confused look on his face. "This old miner guy told me that the Herculaneum was mined by a guy with a shortlong," said RecklessBoy. "That's a pretty good clue, huh?" "did his hair look anything like that?" asked the Goalie III, pointing to the pile of hair he had sliced off the villain's head. "yup," said the miner. "Yeah, great info there, chet," said Chopper. "Retnec ytlucaf nosnhoj eht ta mih tcatnoc dluoc I, nosaer yna rof mih ot klat ot dedeen I fi taht ereh saw eh elihw yad eno em dlot eh," volunteered Allen. "what's he saying?" asked Chopper. "Mesa know," said Annoying Fanboy. "Hesa talk backwards. Hesa say Uht in Johnson Faculty Center." "How'd you know he was talking backwards?" asked RecklessBoy. "Mesa read big bombas lots of old JLA comics with Zatanna, and mesa..." "forget I asked," said Chet. "That boy also told me that he needed the Herculanuem for some sort of tracking device," explained Allen. "I figgered he meant the global positioning satellite or somethin', 'cuz that's what the goverment uses it for." "Tracking device, huh?" said Chet. "hmmm..." Moments later, the heroes had dislodged the Love Egg from the mouth of the hole. (Chet had taunted the Goalie III by saying that Mighty Ducks 3 was a better movie than Mystery, Alaska and got him in such a berserker rage that Chopper was able to push the shuttle out of the way all by himself.) They left Allen behind at the cave, bidding the old miner a fond farewell, and then sped back to Towers. Once there they dropped Murray and the hockey puck off in Progger's room and continued on to Vacuumboy's apartment. "they've stopped back at towers, master Uht," said Airflow. "those imbeciles, Argonaut and Assassin, must have let them escape," said Uht. "Contortionist, you go to Towers and spy on them, see what they're planning." "alone, master uht?" asked the Canadian Contortionist. "YES, ALONE!" screamed Uht. "I have to have flunkies here to guard the prisoners, don't I? DON'T QUESTION ME! JUST DO AS I SAY!!" And so Airflow sulkily slunk out of the Faculty Center and rode the winds to Towers. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/10/28 10:02 by JY01STU >:: Vacuumboy rich chocolaty goodness Airflow rode the wind up to the lounge window of the seventh floor of South and then contorted his body to squeeze in between the cracks and get onto the floor. He muttered and mumbled to himself as he did this feat, "Stupid Uht making me do all the dirty work all the time." The Canadian Contortionist slid under the lounge door and started scooting down the hall. "He just sits around on his butt all day while us clones do the dirty work." He reached the door to the Progger's room and heard the heroes talking inside. "Well, I'll show him. I'm going to defect to the heroes' side and tell them all about how to defeat Uht and then we'll see who laughs last." Airflow knocked on the door. "who is it?" Murray's voice said, raised up over the din of the other heroes speaking. Airflow replied, "It's the Canadian Contortionist. I've come to talk to you." Murray shouted over the other heroes' voices, "come on in." Airflow opened the door and was instantly hit by a laser blast so forceful that it carved holes in his chest like a jack-o-lantern and killed him instantly. Murray hit the button on Progger's stereo, stopping the recording of the heroes' voices, and hopped down to the ground onto a skateboard. "Ha!" he exclaimed. "Try to come stalk us, will you! Well, that'll learn ya!" He pushed himself over to the corpse of Airflow and dragged the body inside and into Progger's closet. then he shut the door, reset the laser beam to go off when the door was again opened, and jumped back up onto the Progger's desk. "Let's see if any of your other friends fall for this little trap," Murray said, sipping a large glass of cold grape koolaid as he turned the tape of the heroes' voices back on and settled back to wait for the next villain to arrive. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/11/03 19:41 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter But Tia AND Tamera wear them.... Meanwhile, back in the dungeon... "Maybe if you..." "Shut up...JUST SHUT UP!!!"