================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/03/23 19:58 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter "Pimp on a Chain" Meanwhile, in the Johnson Faculty Center, Uht was talking to himself because their was no one else to talk to. "Curse those fools and their incompetence. It was blind luck that they were destroyed. If they had been even half way intelligent, one of them would've raised the defense shields before sending out the attack ships. "I'm glad I planted those bugs in ^'s armor, or I wouldn't have missed them for at least a couple of days. Now I'll have to build a new team of competent villains. The quickest way to the bottom is doing the dirty work yourself. There are obviously no competent super villains left in Cape. I'll have to find them elsewhere. "I guess I'm just lucky that the heroes destroyed the computer system under the pond instead of actually downloading my plans for world domination. I guess I'll start my search for villains in Australia, yes, an international team with a diverse back ground of experience that is the way to go." And Uht left the Johnson Faculty Center, slurped a few souls, pillaged some purses, and aimed his walk for the airport. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/03/23 20:04 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter "Pimp on a Chain" Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Uht was far from the minds of the heroes. "Come on BJ, you've gotta make it," cried Vacuumboy. "You survived an attack on the hockey continuum, you can't give in to an electrical shock and a bump on the head," pleaded the Hunter. "Come on Beej," said Chet. "I couldn't live with myself if you don't make it." "I have something to say," moaned BJ as he returned to consciousness. "Shut up everyone! What?" asked the Progger. "If you guys quit protecting Cape and just sit around crying--- YOU CAN SMOKE MY BONE!!!" yelled BJ, and then he died. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/03/31 18:27 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter "Pimp on a Chain" Meanwhile, Uht was on the Red Eye to Australlia, planning his world tour of Disreputable Recrution. "First Australlia, then Asia, then Europe, then African, then Antarctica, then South American, then Canada, then, well, I guess that about covers it. "According to the Internet crime search I did while waiting on my plane, I've compiled a list of the best villains on each Continent. The Australlian Aristocrat, the Asian Assassin, the European Euchlidian, the African Argonaut, the Antarctic Illusion, the South American Symbiant, the Canadian Contortionist, and of course me, but since I wasn't on the Internet, the Contortionist gets the North American spot." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/04/01 14:29 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter "Pimp on a Chain" Uht soon arrived in Perth and began his search for the Australlian Aristocrat. He posed as a member of the Australlian Intelligence System (AIS). This was easily done, for Uht happened to meet an actual member of the AIS in the airport restroom. He slurped the soul of agent Jack N. Box. He allowed himself to slowly morph into the form of Agent Box as he collected the badge and other ID that he new would come in handy. "I'm lookin' for the Australlian Aristocrat. What can ya tell me, mate?" asked Uht of the first street thug he came across. The street thug laughed and walked away. Uht decided that in order to get more respect next time, he would present the badge and remove his green, snouted mask. "I need information on the Australlian Aristocrat," Uht told the man behind the counter of a corner pawn shop. "Try the corner of Sydney and Melbourne," laughed the cashier. "I don't know what's so funny," thought Uht, but at least he's helpful. "Thank you," Uht said as he walked out. Uht found a map of Perth in a phone book in a phone booth, and was soon on his way to the corner of Sydney and Melbourne. "I wonder if that's the location of a high security prison, or if that clerk just had inside information on the Aristocrat's hangouts," wondered Uht outloud as he stolled down Melbourne on his way to Sydney. When Uht arrive, however, he found a huge cemetery. "Maybe," Uht thought aloud, "the Aristocrat has an underground hq." "You could say that," said a young man Uht hadn't noticed before. "The Australlian Aristocrat has been buried in this cemetery since he was killed in a police shootout in 1993." "What?" yelled Uht as he scanned his printout. "Last updated in 1991? Why can't these people show a little more concern for the information they distribute? If he's dead, then who's the criminal mastermind in on this continent?" "I am," said the young man. "Whatever," said an annoyed Uht as he wondered what this young smartass would taste like if he could lure him behind a monument. "No really, I was the Aristocrat's student, the Perthian Prodigy, so when he was killed, I took over." Uht quickly referenced the web and found that the Perthian Prodigy was actually the current super villain of dominance in the land down under. Besides, he was already behind schedule and was ready to head to Asia. "Ok, then," began Uht. "How would you like to join my INTERNATIONAL team of supervillains?" "What will it do?" asked the Perthian Prodigy. "First we will take over Cape Girardeau, then the world," said Uht. "Cape Girardeau? Well, I am getting pretty bored here, why not." So Uht and the Prodigy were off to Syberia to seek the Asian Assasin. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/04/28 15:50 by EM82STU >:: Walden F. Pond I break legs for money!!! What's an Assasin??? ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/04/28 16:06 by EM82STU >:: Walden F. Pond I break legs for money!!! After BJs funeral, the heroes went to a bar and got rip roaring drunk. They celebrated the death of that damn fucking bitch BJ and were glad that they were rid from hockey for the rest of their lives. Little did they no that his spirit had left his body and was now going in search of a new body. His equipment was on display at academic hall on top of the dummy chopper. Little did anybody know that chopper was actually a sentient being. When BJ's disencoporated spirit found his equipment he jumped right in and immediatley a struggle began on who controlled the body of chopper. After a few minutes of lightning and explosions there had emerged a victor. Chopper had managed to suppress BJ but now had learned of a reason to live. He wanted to be a superhero. They problem was that he was abhorant to violence. Then he saw a young junior delivering rootbeers to some professors and was swearing about how much hockey really sucked. Suddenly Chopper felt a surge of anger grow in him and BJs persona came through. He immediately attacked the delivery boy but stopped short of killing him by Chopper's persona. Chopper regained control of his faculties and set out to join the heroes in their adventures. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/04/28 19:05 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter "Boy in Blue" Meanwhile, Uht and the Perthian Prodigy had arrived in the frozen tundra of Northern Syberia in search of the Asian Assassin. "I wonder if his hideout is like the Fortress of Solitude," thought the Prodigy outloud. "No," said Uht. "The Assassin was captured after a thirteen year killing spree and sent here. I just hope he hasn't broken out since that webpage was updated." Uht and the Prodigy had soon worked their way from the remote and grossly under manned airport to the high security prison. "Hello," said Uht to the guard. "I am currently working on an international case that your prisoner known as the Asian Assassin might be able to shed some light on. It is a knew crime spree, but it seems as though the work might be that of a student of the Assassin. May I speak with the Asian Assassin." "Yeah, what do I care," replied the guard. "Just go through the gate to cell block D, on your left, and he's in the 5th cell on the 3rd floor." "You mean the doors aren't locked?" asked the Prodigy. "No, where would the prisoners go? We're in the middle of a frozen wasteland, and even if we weren't, at least here the bread lines are organized." "O.K.," said Uht as he walked toward the gate, contemplating putting the guard out of his apparent mystery by having a little snack... ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/05/10 23:51 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter High Knight of Shakma Uht and the Prodigy soon found themselves walking past rows of open cell doors. They soon arrived at the designated to cell to find a very, very old man. "We're looking for the Assian Assassin," said Uht. "Do you know where to find him." "Yes," replied the old man. "Where? Where?" asked the over-eager Prodigy. "Here," said the old man. "I don't see him," said the Prodigy. "Let me guess, you're him," observed Uht, "but you would've been old even at the height of your killing spree." "Of course," confirmed the Assian Assassin, for it was he, "It's very easy to get close to people when you're old, and people don't usually suspect an old man in a mass killing spree." "Then how did you get caught?" asked the Prodigy. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/05/11 02:31 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter High Knight of Shakma "Well, I got careless. Things got so bad that people began putting signs in front of their houses that said 'Assassin, please stop here. I decided to help the people out, and besides, I knew they wouldn't fight back. Eventually, and it didn't take long, the police began staking out houses with signs," said the Assassin, obviously embarassed by the way he was captured. "I'm not sure we can use you," said the always practical Uht. "We are building an international team of supervillains, but if all you can do is lull people into a state of ease and then kill them while they're not worried about you, you'll have problems. Our first mission will be to destroy a team of superheroes who won't be so easily lulled into security." "Who said anything about a sense of security?" asked the Asian Assassin with a smile on his face. "I didn't say I got emotionally or socially close, I just said I got close. Within a 6 meter radius. Watch." And with that, men in three cells within 6 meters of the Assassin fell dead. "If you can get me that close to the heroes you speak of, and allow for an element of surprise, I can take them out, unless they're invinsable or immortal or something. Then I'm making no promises." "I don't think they're immortal," said Uht. "Let's get out of here, you two. We'll grad the European Euclidian on our way to Africa." "What about the guard?" asked the Prodigy. "Just give me about ten minutes before you two follow," said Uht with a grin on his face... ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/05/12 19:11 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter High Knight of Shakma Moments later Uht, the Prodigy, and the Assassin were on a plane to France, and a couple of hours after that they were off the plane in Paris. "Who are we looking for here?" asked the Prodigy. "He is called the European Euchlidian," said Uht. "What does he do?" asked the Assassin. "I don't know," answered Uht, "but he is listed as the top criminal master mind in all of Europe. He should be useful." "Well, where do we start looking?" asked the Prodigy. "I suggest that we start looking somewhere near a restaurant. I haven't had any good food for years," said the Assassin. "You two go get food, and I'll see what I can find out. I'm not hungry," said Uht. After agreeing to meet back at the corner where they parted, the three villains parted ways. Uht went to the local police department disguised as a reporter for France's Evil Doers Most Urgently Needing Arrest (FEDMUNA). The Prodigy and the Assassin went to a local coffee shop for croisants and coffee. Uht arrived at the local police department and soon found all the help he needed. It just so happened that the police chief (named Jean Luc) had a large ego, a small brain, and had just gotten information on the Euchlidian. "So, if I think the story is good enough," continued Uht, "I'll send a camera crew back, and you'll be on the show." "Great, great," said Jean Luc. "Now, tell me about the Euchlidian and your encounter with him." "Well," began Jean Luc, "the Euchlidian, as everyone knows, is the greatest hacker in the world. Common belief is that he has developed an equation which will work its way through any encription or password system ever developed. I was on the computer a couple of months ago, and I got caught in this horrible loop of pop-up adds and redirect pages. The next thing I knew, on one of the pages it said, for a "good hacker write euchlid@netcom.org/edu.' I didn't think much of it, but I wrote, and I got back a letter that announced that the price was $5 million unless I was a cop and then it was $100 million.Being a cop, I knew I couldn't afford the $100 million on my salary, but maybe..." "That's all I need. Bye," said Uht as he rushed out before laughing for hours outside the building... ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/05/13 21:57 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter High Knight of Shakma Uht pulled out his trusty lap-top, and sent an e-mail to the not so encrypted address of the European Euchlidian. Dear European Euchlidian, You are considered to be the greatest villain in Europe. I am also one of the greatest villains in the world. I am collecting an international team of supervillains to help me conquer the world. This is your invitation to join. Our first mission will be to destroy a team of superheroes who use a highly computerized air ship as a command center. Your services would be invaluable. Please respond soon. Uht Criminal Mastermind And, with that, Uht returned to the corner to meet up with his fellow team members and wait for the return letter from the Euchlidian. It was at this lag in the action that Uht realized he had neglected an important detail. "Prodigy?" "What?" "What exactly is it that you do?" ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/05/16 23:36 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter High Knight of Shakma "Well," said the Prodigy hesitantly, "that depends..." "What do you mean?" asked Uht. "You have to know what you do. The Assassin knows what he does. I know what I do. The Euchlidian knows what he does. How can you not know what you do?" "Yeah..." contributed the Asian Assassin. "It's like this," explained the Perthian Prodigy, "my name says it all. I wasn't just a student of the Australian Aristocrat. That wasn't where I got my name, at least. While I was with the Aristocrat, I did what he did. I can assume the powers of any villain I am working directly with. Send me out with the Assassin, and you've got two great killers. Send me out with the Euchlidian, and you've got a pair of hackers. If I'm with you, I can do whatever it is you do." "So you don't really have any powers of your own?" "I guess if you don't consider instantaneous skill aquisition a power, then I don't," replied the offended Prodigy. "I guess that could come in useful," said Uht. "You never know when you'll need extra help." **beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep** "I have mail," anounced Uht. Uht, I would be very interested in joining an international team. I have taken the liberty of tracing your internet connection to the street corner you are sitting on. I will be there in approximately 45 minutes to learn the details of you group. The European Euchlidian Elite Hacker P.S. To eliminate evidence, this computer is now programmed to self destruct in 30 seconds, unless you are a slow reader. "Uh oh," screamed Uht as he tossed the lap-top away before it exploded. "I guess I need a new computer, but for now, we'll wait for the Euchlidian..." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/05/17 22:06 by JY01STU >:: Vacuum boy B. S. E. And wait they did. And while they were waiting, many strange things were occuring back in Cape Girardeau, but it was nothing more than business as usual. The heroes had naturally assumed that when the other villains were killed, Uht had been too and so they continued going about their everyday routines. Vacuumboy returned to his student teaching, fully cleared of all charges. He did such an excellent job training the future heroes of America (and the university felt so guilty for falsely accusing him) that he was offered a position as faculty at the university for the next school year. Chopper the Goalie III joined the group and was very easily acceptedby everyone, his personality being such an excellent mix of whininess and rage. He was an excellent addition to the team and singlehandedly prevented Dr. Nietschke from being assassinated and replaced by an evil version of Vacuumboy from an alternate future timeline. Chet stole a lot of stuff from the cafeteria, wreaking such incredible havoc on the Sodexho workers doing inventory before they left the university that one of them went insane and started killing everyone associated with bringing the new food service people, Chartwells, to campus. Chet also broke some stuff. Jared attempted to date many times, all unsuccessfully, and because of it was for a brief time brainwashed by the evil Vacuumboy into becoming his henchman, the Lonely One. But he got better. He also got some. The Progger rebuilt most of the stuff that RecklessBoy broke, except for the Lovechicken's interdimensional travel mechanism, which everybody decided it was much better that it stay broken. He also died several times, four times at the hands of the evil Vacuumboy, and once from an extremely violent sneeze. Murray drank a lot of Koolaid, regrew his entire body, and lost it all again at the hands of a demon-possessed Carol Coventry. And Licko watched a lot of the Weather Channel. And as the weeks of school passed, Uht went about collecting his villains. And when he was completely done, he returned to the basement of the Johnson Faculty Center. With only a week left of school, he knew that the heroes of SEMo would be much too busy completing end-of-term projects and papers, and then with finals, to notice his presence. And so he began to hatch his plot for the total domination of first Cape Girardeau, and then the world. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/05/17 23:34 by JY01STU >:: Vacuum boy B. S. E. And hatch a plot he did. And for the entire final week of normal classes, Uht went about readying himself and his colleagues for the task. Finally the day came to enact the plan and so Uht stood with his six fellow supervillains, in front of the cloning machine Dr. Nowhere had built. "So why are we here again?" asked the African Argonaut. "I thought you told me that you thought Dr. Nowhere's cloning scheme was idiotic." "Well, yes that is true. At the time I could not see its genius," admitted Uht. "But when we were disappointed by the fiasco with the Antarctic Illusion, I had to rethink things, and this option presented itself to me." "Don't feel too bad about that, boss," said the Canadian Contortionist. "How were you to know that the Antarctic Illusion was that Antarctica itself did not exist? It was such a secretive villainous scheme that cartographers have played on us that no one has ever figured it out." "True," said Uht. "But my original plan had called for there to be eight of us. Now with only seven, I have had to make a few changes." "And I'm still a little confused about what exactly those changes are," said the Asian Assassin. "It didn't work before when you tried cloning a dead superhero to use against the Hunter and his friends. Why do you think it will work now?" "The mistake we made was to try to create a new personality for the clone, one that we thought we could control and mold into a competent supervillain," said Uht. "So rather than doing that, you're going to do what now?" asked the European Euclidian. "Give them ready-made evil personalities, of course," said Uht. "Where are you going to get those personalities from?" asked the South American Symbiant. "they just don't leave criminal mastermind brans lying around." "I know," said Uht. "That's why I'm using yours." And without another word, he devoured each of the six villains' souls. Although, "devoured" is perhaps not quite the correct term, for the next words he spoke, Uht spoke as if holding his breath at the same time. "Now... must act... quickly before... I accid... entally... swallow... one!" And he spat one at a time at each clone that lay before him. But as he came to the last clone, he let out a large belch before he could spit. "Oh, damn!" said Uht. "There went the Perthian Prodigy! Oh well. His powers will serve me much better anyway." One by one the villains in their new cloned bodies awoke. "Welcome, gentlemen! It's so lovely to have you back with me. I believe some introductions would be in order since each of you will not recognize each other from your new faces." "First, we have the Canadian Contortionist, burglar extraordinaire. Yuor new body is a clone of the superhero Airflow, killed when master villain Gwar stole Cape Girardeau's wind." "Secondly, South American Symbiant, your mind is now housed in the body of the hero the Glove, who was killed by Dr. Nowhere during his first battle with Captain Crash." "Next we have the Asian Assassin, whose supreme skill in the art of murder should be aided by the prehensile hair power of the body in which he now resides, the Abnormal Fish, killed by the vampire a mere year ago." "Then we have the African Argonaut, who finds himself with one hand incredibly larger than the other. You now are the Learned Hand!" "And finally the European Euclidian. I have added add your intellect to that of another geometrically inclines super genius hero, Octagonal Charlie, accidentally killed by a little tyke-possessed Mangler earlier this year." "I regret that you gentlemen will not have time to grow accustomed to the powers of your new bodies, but we are short on time. The end of the school year is fast approaching and we must defeat the superheroes of Cape Girardeau before they leave for the summer. Suffice to say, your new bodies have power beyond your wildest dreams. Your own abilities have been magnified, along with your strength and intellect, as well as the added bonus of your cloned hero's powers." "now we are poised in an excellent position. Since I have added the powers of the Perthian Prodigy to my own, I not only can mimic all of your powers, but also those of any one we might come up against. Together, gentlemen, we are unstoppable!" ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/05/20 18:02 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter High Knight of Shakma And the team began to discuss their new powers and their new strategy, not realizing that as they did, the school year came to an end. But the Exceptionally Vile International League (EVIL) was formed, and the heroes would return to face the worst threat of their careers.