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>:::The following added 1998/11/11 17:41 by JY01STU
>:: Vacuum boy                         I hate Dr. Clark!!!!

    Here now are the Amazing Adventures of 17 Hasidic Jews!!!

    When last we saw the jews, they were locked up in a trap door in
Barnie the Putrid's room, having their testicles stepped on by women
with stilleto heels on.
    "OY Vey! Schlomo, that smarts like the dickens!" said Herschel, the
unofficial leader of the imprisoned Jews as one of the women stepped
hard on his left nut and ground in her heel.
    "I know how you feel," replied Schlomo. "I'm beginning to get a
little tired of this, yes?"
    "I agree, Schlomo," said Herschel. "It has been a month since we
last saw Barnie and his two goons. they seem to have forgotten about
us."
    "All of this time without food has started to make me go a little
mashoogina," Schlomo replied. "i regret seriously having to eat our
fellowprisoners, but it had to be done if we were to survive."
    "Yes, it truly is a shame," said Herschel. "I think that the time
has come for us to break free from our bondage."
    "But how, I ask?" said Schlomo. "these women have us in chains and
my balls feel like a wine glass at a Bar Mitzvah."
    "That, my friend, is a very good question," replied Herschel.
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>:::The following added 1998/11/13 16:34 by JY01STU
>:: Vacuum boy                         I hate Dr. Clark!!!!

    Just then seemingly out of nowhere, barnie the Putrid appeared,
along with the fifteen fellow Jes that Herschel and Schlomo had eaten.
    "Barnie!" said one of the women in stilleto heels. "Where've you
been? You've been a naughty naughty boy! You've kept your mistress
Esmerelda waiting for you for far too long. I think you need to be
taught a lesson."
    "I'm sorry, mistress Esmerelda," Barnie said, hanging his head in
shame. "Please don't punish me too hard."
    "I don't know," said mistress Esmerelda. "What do you think,
mistress Lolita?"
    Another woman stepped forward to speak to Barnie. "I think Barnie's
been very nuaghty," said mistress Lolita. "He deserves to be punished."
    "Yes," said a third stilleto-heeled woman, who stopped stepping on
Herschel's genitals to talk to Barnie. "I think we might have to use the
whip with the pieces of broken glass."
    "not again," said Barnie whining, and the he stopped himself. "What
Am I talking about? I'm already dead. You can't do anything more to me."
    "Dead?" said Schlomo from where he was chained. "And yet you leave
us here in bondage? What a schmuck you are!"
    "I know, guys, and I'm sorry," said Barnie. "I didn't mean to die.
It just sort of happened."
    "so how is it exactly that you speak to us now, from across the
void?" asked Herschel.
    "When I died, I went to this magical place called the Land of the
Undead Jewish Conf characters. It's really cool here, a wonderful
afterlife," said Barnie.
    "yes," said one of the fifteen Hasidic Jews who stood behind Barnie.
"All of us want to thank you for killing us and eating us, even though
we were not kosher."
    "Is there any way you can help us out of our current predicament, if
it isn't too much trouble," asked Schlomo.
    "Unfortunately, there is no way out of the cell in which you are
trapped," Barnie explained. "Only I could open the door. It was coded to
know my voice command, as well as my retinal eye patterns. So you are
stuck."
    "But," Barnie continued. "What you could do is commit suicide. That
way your deaths would not be long and drawn out, since you are sure to
starve to death before anyone can find you. Then you can join us in the
afterlife."
    "Sounds OK to me," said Herschel.
    "but what about us?" said a fourth dominatrix.
    "Could we not just convert them so that they join us in the
afterlife?" asked Schlomo.
    "Only if they promise to never again do damage to our Motze balls,"
replied Herschel.
    "Agreed," said mistress Esmerelda.

    And so soon afterwards, the land of the undead Jewish conf
characters was a much more populous place.
    "wow, it's great here," said mistress Lolita. "i'm so glad I'm
dead."
    "Here let me introduce you around," said Barnie. 'This is Valenn.
And this here is Mofo. Our Hasidic friends you already know. And there's
sure to be a few more characters to come our way sometime in the
future."
    "Yeah," said Valenn. "I realize now that I'm dead that there were a
lot more Jews living on campus than I thought."
    "Yes," said Mofo. "and since here we can see the future and prophesy
to the heroes back in the other world, we know that there will be at
least two more heroes joining us soon, the Great Unsociable and
Presumptious Girl."
    "don't forget Octagonal Charlie, the Flaming Daffodil and Agitato
the Large," said Barnie.
    "You know, I never realized being dead would be so cool," said
mistress Esmerelda. "I always thought the afterlife would be lame."
    "Yes, just being reunited with all my old friends has made me a
little vahklempt," said Herschel.
    "Free SEX for everyone!" shouted mistress Esmerelda.
    And there was much rejoicing.

                    THE END