================================================================================ >:::The following added 1998/12/05 15:08 by JY01STU >:: Vacuum boy Cheers to Miller Elevator Company!! THE MAGNANIMOUS DR. SNIDE RIDES AGAIN! "It's no mistake," the magnanimous Dr. Snide told his two assistants. "I've checked and double-checked my findings. There is definitely an unknown alien fleet of ships approaching the station. I must alert the others!" "Shall we take you to see the Gatherer?" asked the good doctor's first assistant, phlegmling #36. "No," the small scrap of paper replied sadly. "Ever since she returned from Earth with the Progger and Adriana, she has been more interested in matters other than defending the universe from evil." "So where shall we take you then?" asked the second assistant, phlegmling #86749. "We have to tell the commander of the station, Ped Xing of the plane t YM," said the magnanimous Dr. Snide. And so the good doctor, carried by his two phlegmling assistants, was taken through level after level of the radiation shield to the main control room of the station to see Ped Xing. Commander Ped Xing sat at the main control console, which at one time had been the destructive cheese ray. Now its purpose had been modified. The station now stood as sort of an intergalactic power plant. The ray had been changed so that it could draw power from the forming star, the Bok globule, and then give this power as fuel to ships that came to fill up there. Ped Xing's two hands were busily working at the controls, draining some juice out of the star and funneling it into the KachMalanDixiLWhatchiniLac ship currently docked at the station. His third hand jutted from the top of his head and was busily shoveling quiche into Ped Xing's mouth. "There you go, oRfNofff," said Ped Xing into the communications device after swallowinghis mouthful of quiche. "All filled up." "Thanks," came oRfNofff's reply. "As a gift I left you a bottle of the cosmic essence in your quarters. It's vinatge star date 9919." "A very good year," said Ped Xing. "Thank you." As he then disengaged the communicator, he turned to Dr. Snide and the two phlegmlings. "Now what can I do for you, good doctor?" "We believe that an attack onthe station is imminent from a fleet of alien ships that has yet to be identified," the doctor explained. "It's not those wussy pizza aliens again, is it?" Ped Xing whined. "No, this is no race I'veever seen before," the doctor explained. "86749, hand Commander Ped Xing the paper with the readout on it." Phlegmling 86749 extended a hand with a scrap of paper in it toward the commander. "Not ME, you fool. The other paper." 86749 apologized and handed Ped Xing the readout. As the commander read the data, his eyes grew wide. "I recognize this race," he told them. "They are the Fe Urt, the personal guards of Drongo the Irruptive. They must be coming here to rescue him. This is aserious threat to the peace we have maintained between the YMites, the Facti Aran, and the KachMalan for all these months since Drongo's defeat. We must act quickly!" ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1998/12/11 16:05 by JY01STU >:: Vacuum boy Cheers to grandmas who send money!! Suddenly an alarm began to sound. "We're too late!" cried ped Xing. "They're already here!" "But how?" cried the magnanimous Dr. Snide. "the sensors showed the fleet as still several parsecs from here." "That fleet must just have been a decoy," said phlegmling #36 as he ran to the console beside Ped Xing and looked at the sensor readout. "There are hundreds of Fe Urt ships out there surrounding the station!" Phlegmling #86749 went to the comm panel and sent out a message to the station. "All hands to battle stations! we are under attack!" Down below in the barracks of the station, the Progger awoke to the sound of the announcement. He nudged his two partners lying beside him to rouse them. "Wake up, Gabe!" he said to the girl lying to his left as he shook her. "what?" she said, rubbing her eyes a little. "You want to do it again? You sure are frisky tonight! That'll make the fourth time. But I guess what my man wants, he gets." and she slowly started to climb on top of him. Suddenly Adriana awoke and joined in by climbing on top of Gabriel. "If she's up for another time around, then I am too." "NO!" said the Progger as he pushed them both off of him. "you two are almost starting to get on my nerves with all the sexual gratification you're giving me! The station is under attack!" "sorry," Gabriel said, pouting, and then she started to cry. "Oh, stop it. Please. will you stop?" said Adriana, holding the Gath erer. She turned on the Progger ferociously. "See what you did! You men are all alike. Insensitive bastards who are never willing to just use us for sex and then leave!" "alright, I'm sorry," the Progger said. "We can have sex!" "Woo-hoo!!!" shouted Gabriel as she jumped on top of him once again. Five minutes later the Progger, Adriana, and the Gatherer appeared in the control room of the station. "what's the trouble, Commander Xing?" the Progger asked. "It's the Fe Urt," said Ped. "They're an evil race that served as Drongo's bodyguards until he was defeated. They're attacking the station. Progger, I need you and the good doctorto lead a battalion down in the prison cells to make sure they don't try to attack there to free Drongo. Even though he is a vegetable now, he might still cause us some trouble." "Can do," said the Progger, and he grabeed the magnanimous Dr. Snide and took off. "You two phlegmlings, #36 and 86749, go to where the Lovechicken's crew boarded the station. The Fe Urt might recognize it as a weak spot in our defenses and attack there." the two phlegmlings ran away to gather troops to meet them in the quarters level. "Gabriel, I need you and Adriana to perform a very special task for me," the commander began to say. suddenly one of the Fe Urt teleported into the room and grabbed Ped Xing. He pulled out a gun and pointed it at the Gatherer and Adriana. "don't move," said the Fe Urt soldier. "What the...?" Gabriel stood staring at the soldier aghast at what she saw. "what are you?" "We, the Fe Urt, are a cheese-based lifeform," said the soldier. He held his arm out in front of Ped xing's face. "One false move and I make him take a bite out of me." Adriana looked confused, so Gabriel explained. "The YMites are extremely lactose intolerant. We need to step back." But as Gabriel and Adriana slowly backed away, suddenly Ped Xing sprung into action. In one swift move, he had bitten off the head of the soldier, killing him. Ped xing spat the head on the floor and then collapsed. "PED!" screamed Gabriel, rushing to his side. "It's too late for me," said the commander. "I do not regret giving my life for my people, but if you are to defeat the Fe Urt, you must carry out this mission I have designed for you." "What, what do you need, Commander Xing?" asked Adriana with tears in her eyes. Ped Xing gasped. "My people... to defeat... Fe Urt... need.. L... Act- .. tai... Lactaid." And as he spat the word out, his breath escaped him and he wheezed and coughed and then was silent. "PED? PED!!!" the Gatherer screamed. But it was to no avail. Ped xing was dead. ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/03/31 19:11 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter "Pimp on a Chain" Meanwhile, Adrianna and Gabriel were trying to decide how to obtain an adequate amount of lactaid for the battle without leaving the station without command. "Lactaid is a very rare commodity," stated Gabriel. "What?" asked Adrianna. "On earth you can get it in any drug store, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Schnucks, most convenience stores...well, you get the picture." "Yes," said Gabriel, "on earth Lactaid is plentiful, but everywhere else it is non-existant. Only earth has developed such a drug." "Are we really that much more advanced?" asked Adrianna. "No, of course not," said Gabriel. "Most beings are intelligent enough not to eat or drink things that kill them. If it weren't for this invasion, there would be no need for Lactaid here." "Well, you can't go to earth because that would leave the station without adequate leadership, and I'm not leaving because I can't go that long without having sex with you," said Adrianna. "I guess that only leaves one option...I guess Progger's going back to earth, after all, he said just a few minutes ago that he was getting annoyed with us. I'll miss him." "Good riddance." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/04/15 21:14 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter "Pimp on a Chain" Moments later, the Progger was back in the control room standing before Gabriel. "So, babe, Adrianna said you sent her to relieve me because you needed to talk. I'm really not sure this is the time, the station is under attack, after all," pointed out the Progger. "I know," replied the Gatherer, "and that doesn't make what I have to do any easier. I'm....I'm....I'm....sending....you home." "You're what?!?" asked a shocked and hurt Progger. "I need you to get Lactaid for the Ymites so that they may safely battle the cheese-based Fe Urts. I have to take command here, because Ped Xing was killed. Adriana can't be seperated from me that long...." ================================================================================ >:::The following added 1999/04/15 21:41 by KR53STU >:: The Hunter "Pimp on a Chain" "Adriana! I should've known she was behind this. She's always been jealous of me," said the enraged Progger. "That's not true," sobbed Gabriel. "Yes it is," said the Progger. "She hates me." "I just don't understand why you two can't get along, for my sake," cried Gabriel with tears flowing. "She's jealous because I was here first, and she only tolerates me to stay on your good side," said the Progger. "Yes, but it won't matter with you gone, I can finally be in a truly happy relationship, and you can be away from our annoying sexual gratification." "But..." "Enough, you ship leaves in 45 minutes. You are to send the Lactaid back with the pilot and stay on earth until I send for you." "When will that be?" "I don't know, you'll always be my hero, and my love, but I need a less stressful life. Goodbye." And with that the Progger turned and walked sadly to the docking area, resloving to tell the guys back on earth that he had left the threesome by his own choice from boredom, because he thought they just might believe such a ridiculous story. The End