Answering Machine

One of the problems for an introvert, with having an answering machine, is that people will leave messages. Or, kind of scarily, my parents might be able to contact me. Still, it's better to say that I have an answering machine. That way, I don't have the irresponsibility hanging over my head.

But what to do?

In Norway, there was this small, out of the way scrap shop. For fifty Kroner, (25 Shekels, $6.50) I got a used, well conditioned, cheap answering machine. Better than the low price, (trust me, it was low, this isn't America any more, Toto.) the answering machine was used.

The significance of that was that it came with the old tape. Let me spell this out. Included with the 50 kroner was the answering machine tape in Norwegian. Perfect. I now had a tape that nobody could understand.

I'm sure some might be concerned that the message on the tape did not contain my telephone number, but the number of the previous, Norwegian user. Let me reiterate: "I now had a tape that nobody could understand."

When I finally got back to Israel, this was incredible. All of my messages were just clicked hang-ups. I had no problem with this, but my roommate, Rahshid, who besides being a great guy, was the only red headed Palestinian, or Arab for that matter, that I had ever heard of, did have messages that he'd have to contend with. Not understanding English (only Arabic and Hebrew, he honestly thought that the Norwegian was English, and pointed out that he couldn't understand it. I briefly tried to explain to him that I couldn't understand it either, that it was in Norwegian, but the point was, he really did need a real answering machine. I understood, but one condition.

"����, ����, ��� ���� �� ����, ���� �� �� ������." (OK, beseder, aval ta'aseh li tova, ta'aseh et zeh b'aravit.) [OK, fine, but do me a favor; make it in Arabic.]

"��� ���� ���� ��� ���� ������, ���� ��� ���� �������?" (Atah rotzeh she'chatzi mi zeh yehiyeh b'aravit, v'chatzi b'angleet?) {You want half of it to be in Arabic, and half in English?]

"��, ��, ��, �� ������." (Lo, lo, lo, rack b'aravit.) [No, no, no, only in Arabic.]

"�����? ������ ������ ���, �� ������ �����?" (Aravit? Hachaverim v'hamishpecha shelcha, hem yodim aravit?) [Arabic? Your friends and family speak Arabic?]

I smiled. "�� ���." (Af milah) [Not a word.] I won't recreate the answering machine message here. For starters, I didn't understand it. I mean, I followed some of it, I understood it when he said my name and his, and I got the numbers, Hebrew's not so different than Arabic, but I don't pretend to understand all of it.