I seem to have a heavenly blessed link with a company in Shenzhen. China, by the name of Shenzhen Dianxian Co. Ltd. Many years ago when I was in China, I bought a multi-band portable radio receiver in Shanghai that was manufactured by this company. It got all the short wave bands as other multi-band receivers and a bonus of 12 TV channels. The price was very competitive: around Renminbi 97 (16 Canadian dollars). The brand name at that time was SED. 

I was in Shanghai visiting a friend. After I went back to Beijing I enjoyed this little gadget for sometime before it broke down within the one year warranty period. When buying it in

Shanghai, the shop assistant told me that this company had agencies in many major cities in China that could take care of its maintenance. So I went to a big Beijing department store to have my radio fixed free of charge. To my disappointment, the shop assistant there told me that because the radio was not bought in that department store, they could not do it for me. I could, however, take the radio to a special maintenance center set up by the company in Beijing. She told me the address.

 The maintenance center turned out to be a small shop in a street far from my home. It took me more than an hour to ride my bike there, only to find that they had canceled the service at that spot and moved it to a radio equipment factory in the northern suburb of Beijing. Since I had already come this far, I asked for the address and spent another two hours biking in the hot summer sun to get to the factory.

 At the factory I was told that I could have the radio fixed there, but I had to pay for the fixing, since I bought it in Shanghai and was not entitled to free maintenance. I asked about the cost. They told me that they could not tell me before they knew what the problem was. Besides, they could not fix it right away. I had to come back again to get it.

 That 97 Yuan ($12) thing had already cost me three hours of laborious traveling. If I had used these three hours teaching English or doing translation, I could have earned much more than that. I decided to give it up.

 Before I left for the United States in 1995, my parents came to Beijing to see me. My father was an amateur in fixing radio and TV. It took him less than an hour to fix the radio receiver.

There was only a loose connection.

 I did not bring the receiver with me to the U.S., however, because I had other ideas. I had read in some electronic magazines about good amateur radio equipments in America and I was planning to buy a new set. Of course I had no idea about the price.

 By the time I arrived in America, however, I realized that multi-band radios were actually more expensive than in China. And they are not popular. In America and in Canada, I noticed that radio recorders do not have short waves. Ever since the 30's , as I can recall from the old American short stories that I read in my university, FM-AM has been a standard way of making radio receivers. And the AM has only medium wave bands.

 At first I tried to find a shortwave band radio from yard sales, but I never found it. I realized that Americans seldom listen to short wave radio broadcasts. Actually Americans think they are the center of the world and everyone else should listen to them.

 Greatly disappointed and eager to listen to some Chinese broadcasts from either Radio China International or Radio Free China of Taiwan, I asked a friend in Washington to bring back a short wave radio receiver for me when she went to China on business. I arranged for a friend of mine in Beijing to buy the radio and took it to this Washington friend's hotel and then during Christmas, I traveled all the way by Greyhound from Waco, Texas to Washington to get my dear radio.

 I was surprised, amazed and shocked to find that this new radio of mine was exactly the same make as the one I had bought in China--- same color, same size, same design and same manufacturer! There were two differences, however. One was the price. It now costed 160 Yuan ($20). I knew its price had risen to 110 Yuan before I came out but did not expect this new rise. The other difference was the brand name. It had been changed from SED to AROMA, a more incomprehensible brand name, a product of the popular cult for things foreign in the field of nonmenclature in today's China, I guess.

 Of course I had to blame myself for not specifying what not to buy to my friend. But this coincidence led me to believe that the company had put a spell on me to buy their product. I now had the feeling as if I had swallowed a fly.

 Not long after I had this radio receiver, something happened. One day, the band selection nob refused to turn further before the band pointer reached the end of the spectrum. I exerted a little more force and alas! the thread inside was broken and the band pointer immediately sank like a broken arm.

 This I fixed later, throwing away the band pointer because I could never figure out how to get it onto the string that controlled the movement of the nob.

 Then the melding point of the antenna failed. Without antenna I could not get any short wave stations. I had to tape the wire to the melding point.

 And then for sometime the radio simply refused to get short wave stations despite the fact that the antenna was properly attached. The FM and MW were still working, but not the SW. I therefore threw it into the corner of a drawer and totally forgot it for several months before I took it out again. I slapped at it, banned it, poked at it and re-taped the antenna and then suddenly all the stations were back. I was overjoyed.

 In order to save the money from buying cells, I went to yard sales in search of an adaptor. One day I found one, bought it and found later that its output was 9 volts, while my radio requires only 3 volts. After several months, I found another one, with multiple outputs. I was so happy but when I tried it, the receiver was mute. The adaptor worked however, because I could feel the electricity with my tongue. I thought I discovered another problem of this dear Aroma! But later I found out that this time it was not Aroma what was wrong, but the adaptor, also a Chinese product. The poles were wrongly connected. But it might have been the work of the original user.

 One day I went to Radio Shack, a big chain store in America and Canada, with the hope of finding a multi-band receiver with affordable price. The multi-band receivers there however were all made in China. I could tell it as I held the receiver in my hand. I could tell from the lightness of the set and the texture of the material of the case. I had the feeling that I was helding a toy instead of a radio receiver. I could feel how loose the inside mechanism was. I could hear the dropping of a screw, or the breaking of the foot of a transistor.

 Yes, this was all my fantasy, but it was a fantasy based on reality. In America and Canada, one thing that I am now afraid of is buying things made in China. First, the price is too high, even though it is low according to American standard. I could have brought it from China. Why should I buy Chinese products in America? Second, there is always the hidden worry of an early break-down, a premature worn-out, or an untimely embarrassment. I feel guilty for this feeling of mine, especially when I am overseas, this feeling of detest for goods made in China. It was reinforced by something else I bought. Now China has monopolized the market of bike tube repair kit in North America. The kit contains several pieces of tube material, a small bottle of glue and a round piece of metal so small that you can hardly hold it in your fingers. It must have been produced for Lilliput. Many tiny holes are punched in this metal sheet, so that the pierced holes produce a rough side that can be used to roughen the leaking area of the bike tube before applying the glue and attaching the tube material. The holes are never well punched and as a result, the metal can hardly roughen the tube. This product is far worse than the similar kind I used in China. Why cannot they export the product made for home use? Why this exported Made in China is so un-handy? According to whose standard is it manufactured? How could it have passed quality control?

 Loving home-made products is a sign of patriotism. It used to be so, such as in the 30's when China was invaded by Japan. Now this love for home made products has almost disappeared from China's consumer market. The worshiping for things foreign actually started during the Cultural Revolution, when people were told to hate feudalism, capitalism and reactionaries. At that time, China did not import many consumer goods from foreign countries, especially from the West. China however, exported products. Some of these products were sold in domestic markets due to this or that reasons. They were labeled " chukou zhuan neixiao" (Exports Sold at Home) and were hot commodities in markets. Why? because they were supposed to be of a better quality since they were originally meant for international market. In short, they were related to foreign countries.

 Cigarettes were another case. At that time, China did not have 555 or Malboro. China had imported cigarettes nevertheless. They were Albanian cigarettes and were also welcomed in market, if only for its foreignness.

 The Chinese nation is often described by the term "xenophobia". In the bone however, there is more xeno-cult than xenophobia in the Chinese mind. This xeno-cult started in late Qing dynasty as the Chinese realized the power of things Western, from opium to gunboats to Darwinism. Nationalism among the public and the national capitalists were only sparks of national confidence and pride that were quickly drenched in a general lack of them. Despite half a century's socialist education, people still worship things foreign, the more so nowadays.

 Why is this so? Is it because we are not patriotic? The Chinese is the most patriotic nation in the world, in front of foreign invasion and humiliation. When there is equal exchange and interaction between the Chinese and foreign countries however, they will start worshipping things foreign. The Chinese face makes it that although they admire things foreign this may not be said so, especially not by foreigners. Good food will be refused if it is imposed on the Chinese. The Chinese would prefer to take it over by their own hands. But they all love foreign things because of a simple reason: they are good.

 While being overseas, I often want to show more patriotism but I find it difficult. Foreigners do not care much about your patriotism. If you show it often, they may look at you with a queer expression. Much of the media hype about how Chinese win a glorious face in foreign countries and how foreigners "erect their thumbs" to say "Ho, Ho, Ho, Well done, Chinese!" is merely a myth and a blindfold, too.

 Even "guo cui" ( national purity) cannot attract much foreign attention. Before I came out, I was told that foreigners like Taiji very much and I can easily make money by teaching Taiji. Well, I did Taiji in the open several times and no one paid any attention to me. I wore a T shirt with the design of a beautiful Peking Opera face mask and no one paid any attention to me. I am not even regarded as a foreigner in foreign countries and naturally there is no special favor shown to foreigners as that poured on foreigners in China.

 Another reason that I cannot show much patriotism is because of the lived experience described here. Patriotism is an abstraction, a label , a slogan. To materialize it requires more than several drops of blood that are "thicker than water". When everyday I have to face my poor Aroma, how can I love the country that allows such shoddy goods to be marketed, either domestically or internationally?

 I love my country for sure, and therefore I hate every of her defects. Although a son should not dislike his mother because of her plain looking, he has every right to wish her to be beautiful. Putting it more precisely, I hate those people and things that try to force me not to love my country by all means from radio receivers to pants whose zips break down when you walk in the street. The latter will make a good show for The Funniest American Home Vedio, but you can hardly laugh.

 July 25, 1997 Fredericton, Canada