'appy Birffday,
Sebastian Menraff! Honest guv!! Right!! Struth!

'ow the bloody years and the spoons pass by us all as quickly as Sebastian Menraff can fill anuvver suitcase wiv spoons.

The 31st of July is a mumentous day on the calendars of spoon collectors 'round the bloody world. It is a day that all of us wait for wiv breaffless anticipation.

We all know Sebastian Menraff's collection of spoons; but, right, this man . . . I'll get out me spoons. this giant amongst men . . , do wot guvnor! remains a mestery.

'oo is Sebastian Menraff, then, eh, guv? We are all familiar wiv 'is collections and the contributions the bloomin' spoons 'ave made ter world peace. Some of us are even orare of Sebastian Menraff's 'umble petitions on 'is own behalf ter nominate 'imself for the bleedin' Nobel Peace Prize and the bloomin' Gewee orard for Mae West supportin' actress in a dramatic television series.

Dejected but always blindly optimistic, right, H. Sebastian Menraff 'as retreated ter his Souff Pacific island recently purchased wiv the profits from the sales of 'is Princess Diana Memoriol Spoons. We can only imagine wot plans 'e 'as for the chuffin' future.

The bloody traditional '. Sebastian Menraff Long Weekend will be celebrated across Canada (except in the bleedin' provinces of Newfoundland and Quebec -- because they 'aven't figured out the bloody spoon yet). Across the bloody country, Canadians will be celebratin' wiv their mates and families and spoons. On Sunday night, right, hundreds of fousands will gaffer in English Bay in Vancouver ter celebrate Sebastian Menraff's birffday wiv a fireworks display. Some of them will even brin' spoons ter the event.

Thank yer, H. Sebastian Menraff, for bringing peace and spoons ter blokes 'round the world (except in Quebec an' Newfoundland).

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