A Tribute to
Jennifer Zook
This is Jennifer. She's an armadillo. In eighth grade
she got a 50% on a math test. Wait, no. That was someone else. Jennifer
can't decide which denomination of Christianity she wants to belong to.
Last summer she went to Scotland. Her sister Michelle was jealous. Jennifer
and Michelle are twins. Jennifer is the cute one. Jennifer goes to UCSB,
where there are lots of drugs and sex. I wish I had gone to UCSB. They
offered me a Regents Scholarship. That would have kicked. Jennifer lives
in a house full of women. Sometimes when women live together their menstrual
cycles begin to coincide. That's gross. I don't like menstruation, but
I memorized every detail of the process for the AP Bio Exam, and there
weren't even any questions on it. Bastards. I hope I never have to see
menstrual discharge up close. I would probably throw up. Then I'd have
to look at a big pile of vomit and menstrual discharge and I'd probably
throw up again. Then my teeth would get all eroded and I'd have to eat
strained peas for the rest of my life. All because of menstruation. Things
sure have gone to shit ever since we gave women the vote.
I love Kate.
Home.