The Matt Holohan
TOME OF GOODNESS
Here shall be written and
preserved in immortal memory the names of all loyal friends, enemies, and
people who are indifferent toward Matt who have demonstrated exceeding
goodness feats of kindness and intellectual prowess. Let none among ye
profane or defile the sacred names enscribed here, lest Matt track ye down
and put ravenous weevols in your pants and ears. Glory be to Matt.
***
May 28, 1999
1. Adriana Publico, who provided
Matt with the name of the hot Italian girl who played Mustardseed in "A
Midsummer Night's Dream."
2. Brian Twomey, who correctly
answered the hen and a half math problem without any help from Matt.
3. Matt Kaufman, who correctly
answered the hen and a half math problem with only a little help from Matt.
4. Jason N. Rosenbaum, who correctly
answered the hen and a half math problem after being told the answer by
Matt, but gets to have his name here anyway because he's such a pimp.
*
June 4, 1999
1. Jason N. Rosenbaum, who correctly answered all six
of the Douglas Adams trivia questions, thus proving that Matt is not alone
in his fixation on the minutiae of British humor.
2. Luke "the Duke" Filose, who correctly answered four
out of six Douglas Adams trivia questions, proving that he's not nearly
as hoopy as Matt or Jason.
*
June 11, 1999
1. M. Kare, who lined up a nifty
job for Matt, and gave him the opportunity to spend an entire summer working
side by side with a member of the dreaded Kappa Alpha Theta sorority.
*
June 19, 1999
1. Sean "Only a madman would take
the 24" Keane, who correctly answered five out of six Calvin and Hobbes
trivia questions, missing only the ridiculously obscure one that Matt had
no business including in the first place.
2. Tyler Roscoe, who correctly
answered two of the Calvin and Hobbes trivia questions, and would be getting
nice things said about him right now had he not been so mean about not
knowing the answers to the other ones.
3. Mike MacNeil, who answered one
Calvin and Hobbes trivia question, and always seems to have a little sentence
to say in response to the weekly Matt Holohan Report, and who didn't get
too bent out of shape about having his membership status misidentified
that one time.
*
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