THE
MATT HOLOHAN
MISSION STATEMENT
MATT HOLOHAN, or "The Matt Holohan Club," is dedicated to
increasing Matt Holohan awareness throughout the Berkeley campus
and
community. For too long the students of UC Berkeley have led their
lives in a
fetid cloud of obliviousness (obliviousity? Oh, whatever) to the
issues
surrounding Matt Holohan. In fact, thousands of Berkeley students
don't
even know that Matt Holohan exists! The administration has done
little to
correct this injustice, and the founders of the Matt Holohan Club
(well, all
right, it's just the one guy) have decided to take matters into
their (his, really)
hands. The Matt Holohan Club will educate people about Matt Holohan
through print and the internet, but especially the internet since
it doesn't cost
as much and we won't have to go through all the pain in the ass
of typing up
flyers, printing out graphics, and going to the stupid copy place
to pay
exorbitant fees to have the damn things printed out only to have
inconsiderate
bastards either ignore them altogether or, even worse, take them
and then
throw them away, or leave them on the ground, or line their bird
cages with
them, or make peper airplanes and what happens to those paper airplanes?
Why, they find their way right into someone's eye, that's what.
And then he's
blind. Where was I? Oh, right. Matt's a great guy and everyone
should know
about him. He's more important than the Chancellor. Did I mention
he's
double-jointed?
(Mission.)
Brak!