David Prowse
in the House
I'd rather be with Kate Winslet.
One of the great unappreciated
talents of our time, the filme industry just wouldn't be what it is today
without the tireless dedication of David Prowse. For those of you who are
culturally backward and don't have any idea who David Prowse is (you miscreants
should be shot), you may have seen him in a little series of films called
STAR WARS, THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, and RETURN OF THE JEDI. That's right,
folks. While James Earl Jones was sitting in his comfy recording studio
feeding Darth Vader's lines into a microphone, David Prowse was in the
suit. That's right. The huge hulking figure of arguably the greatest movie
villain of all time was none other than British professional bodybuilder
David Prowse.
I'd rather be caressing Kate's
thighs.
Where would Star Wars be without
this great thespian? I'm sure your thoughts jump immediately to Prowse's
breathtaking light saber duels with Luke Skywalker. But Prowse's contribution
went far beyond that. He also provided a great deal of drama and character
with through skilled walking and pointing. Forget about Harrison Ford,
Carrie Fisher, and that little bitch known as Mark Hamill. David Prowse
MADE Star Wars. But that's not all...
Not to mention her calves.
Ever seen a movie called Clockwork
Orange? David Prowse was in that, too. He was Julian, the live-in therapist/bodyguard
of the old guy whose wife gets raped by Alex and the droogs. He also played
a bodyguard in the horrible BBC version of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,
not to mention the monster in two separate Frankenstein movies. He's all
over the place. He's up on it. He's down with it.
He's David Prowse.
"But hey," you might think.
"This guy sounds like a real meathead. How hard is it to play Frankenstein's
monster? Any big guy can do that. But you're wrong, dear friend. So, so
wrong. For if you had any appreciation for quality film making whatsoever
you'd have nothing but respect for David Prowse after witnessing his stunning
portrayal of "Man at cinema" in the 1975 classic, Confessions of a Pop
Performer. I could list many more of David's cinematic masterpieces, but
I'm not going to.
Kate's got a killer body.
DAVID PROWSE FUN FACTS
1. David Prowse served as Christopher
Reeve's personal trainer for the first Superman movie. He did such a great
job that Christopher got significantly larger as filming progressed, and
many earlier scenes had to be reshot. Christopher Reeve is in a wheelchair
now and David Prowse dislocated his hip a while back. Creepy, huh?
2. David Prowse is 6'7".
3. David Prowse was the Green
cross code man, a character used to teach UK children how to cross
the road safely. Imagine that.
An accomplished actor and he still makes time to help little children be
safe. Too bad they were English children.
4. David Prowse said all of
Darth Vader's lines during the filming of the Star Wars movies, and was
reportedly upset that his own vioce was dubbed over by James Earl Jones.
Such injustice. Such horrible, horrible, injustice. George Lucas is a prick.
5. David Prowse fought with
light sabers. During the filming of Star Wars Episode One, Ewan MacGregor
fought with light sabers. Ewan MacGregor unconsciously made light saber
noises during filming. David Prowse never did that. Ewan MacGregor is a
moron.
6. The line "No, Luke, I am
your father" in Empire Strikes Back was a heavily guarded secret on the
set. George Lucas even fooled poor David Prowse into saying a different
line. Different accounts have him saying either "Obi Wan killed your father"
or "Obi Wan Kenobi is your father." Poor David was duped by the evil George
Lucas once again. It's bad enough he doesn't get to have his voice in the
movie, but he's also in the dark as to his true relationship to the other
characters. And yet, he persevered and gave another amazing peformance
in Return of the Jedi. Now, that's dedication.
7. That isn't David Prowse's
face at the end of Return of the Jedi. In their continuing quest to erase
David Prowse's identity from the Star Wars movies, the evil film makers
went and got some other old crotchety guy to say Darth Vader's last words.
David Prowse spent three movies as Darth Vader. He WAS Darth Vader, and
he didn't even get to say his last words. We feel for you, David. We feel
for you like nobody's business.
8. David Prowse owns a gym
in Great Britain.
9. David Prowse kicks ass!
Kate, don't make me wait.
Home.