ARTICLE I - Name
The name of this student group shall be MATT HOLOHAN. When in reference to the student group, the name MATT HOLOHAN shall be written in capital letters in order that the group may be distinguished from its honorable founder, Matt Holohan. Matt Holohan, the honorable founder of MATT HOLOHAN, may choose any capitalization scheme he sees fit to write his own name, but MATT HOLOHAN the student group shall always be written in capital letters. The group may also be referred to as the Matt Holohan Club for no good reason.
ARTICLE II - Purpose
The purpose of MATT HOLOHAN is to increase awareness of Matt Holohan throughout the Berkeley campus. This will be done mainly through tabling and a weekly MATT HOLOHAN REPORT to be distributed via email.
ARTICLE III - Membership
Membership of MATT HOLOHAN shall be separated into four categories:
1. Matt Holohan. Matt Holohan, the honorable founder of MATT
HOLOHAN, is MATT HOLOHAN’s only ranking member. No person other than Matt
Holohan may hold this position.
2. Friends of Matt Holohan. People may join MATT HOLOHAN as
Friends of Matt Holohan, or "Friends of Matt." In order to be a Friend
of Matt, one must approve of MATT HOLOHAN and its honorable founder, Matt
Holohan.
3. Enemies of Matt Holohan. People may join MATT HOLOHAN as
Enemies of Matt Holohan, or "Enemies of Matt." In order to be an Enemy
of Matt, one must disapprove of MATT HOLOHAN and its honorable founder,
Matt Holohan.
4. People who are indifferent toward Matt Holohan. People may
join MATT HOLOHAN as People who are indifferent toward Matt Holohan., or
"People who are indifferent toward Matt." In order to be a Person who is
indifferent toward Matt, one must neither approve nor disapprove of MATT
HOLOHAN and its honorable founder, Matt Holohan.
We will not haze according to California State Law; we will not restrict membership based upon race, color, national origin, sex, sexual orientation, age, or handicap.
ARTICLE IV - Officers/Elections
MATT HOLOHAN shall have only one officer, that being the honorable founder, Matt Holohan. There will be no need for elections since no one other than Matt Holohan may hold this position. Any attempt to overthrow Matt Holohan as the honorable founder will be considered very mean and met with an array of whines, moans, and foot stomping.
ARTICLE V - Meetings
There shall be no regular meetings of MATT HOLOHAN. Irregular meetings shall be divided according to membership status as follows:
1. Matt Holohan. Matt Holohan, honorable founder of MATT HOLOHAN,
will be in a constant administrative meeting with himself beginning at
the registration of MATT HOLOHAN and ending on the dissolution of MATT
HOLOHAN.
2. Friendly meetings. Friends of Matt may meet with each other
at any convenient time(s), or not at all, to plan and organize nice things
to do for Matt Holohan.
3. Enemy meetings. Enemies of Matt may meet with each other
at any convenient time(s), or not at all, to plan and organize conspiracies
against Matt Holohan.
4. Indifferent meetings. People who are indifferent toward Matt
may meet with each other at any convenient time(s), or not at all, to objectively
and impartially discuss Matt and MATT HOLOHAN.
ARTICLE VI - Constitutional Amendments
Amendments to the Constitution of MATT HOLOHAN can only be proposed by Matt Holohan, honorable founder of MATT HOLOHAN. Honorable founder Matt Holohan will then put the amendment up to a vote during the MATT HOLOHAN meeting, at which point the amendment will be adopted only if at least one ranking member votes in favor of the amendment as proposed. If the amendment should fail, the amendment may either be amended by the honorable founder or dismissed. If the amendment is amended, it is again put up to a vote as described above. If the amendment is dismissed, the honorable founder will enjoy a nice glass of water and a bag of Chex Mix. There will be no discussion or debate on proposed amendments unless the honorable founder is alone.
ARTICLE VII - Dissolution
MATT HOLOHAN may be dissolved at any time by the honorable founder, Matt Holohan, without reason or prior notice to the non-ranking members. In the event that MATT HOLOHAN is dissolved via this method, the final duty of the honorable founder shall be the distribution to non-ranking members via email of the MATT HOLOHAN farewell address, at which point the Friends of Matt shall lament, the Enemies of Matt shall rejoice, and the People who are indifferent toward Matt shall promptly go and do something else. MATT HOLOHAN will be dissolved immediately upon the death of the honorable founder, Matt Holohan.
All unspent ASUC funds shall remain the property of ASUC, all Graduate Assembly funds shall remain the property of the Graduate Assembly. All remaining privately obtained funds shall be donated to the National Organization for Women.
Matt Holohan
Honorable Founder