AKA...
Kate can call me anything she
wants.
I've been known by many names
in my useless little life. Some are flattering, some are not-so flattering,
and some are neutral (like icky yucky stinky stupid Switzerland). Feel
free to use any or all of the following pseudonyms when addressing me,
as long as you don't look directly into my eyes.
Failure Boy
Dick Doctor
Mr. Matt
Mr. Man
Mr. Ectomy
Matt Man
Elbow Macaroni Penis
Gonzales
Winston Churchill
Big Red
Jerry Gamork
Morton McWheelihan
Matt Hall
Tok Hohlraum
Carl
Hobo Holohan
Norm MacDonald
Ronald McDonald
Regis
Matt Holohan-Yeltsin
Matt Holohan de Balzac
The Great Matt Holohan
Macro Matt
Snoop Matty-Matt
Knuckles
Matthew Christian Holohan (My
full legal name. In 3rd grade on the first day of school we all had to
write out our full names and see how many words we could make out of the
letters. Most kids had around 60 or 70. I had over 200. My parents refused
to try and teach me how to spell my middle name until I was seven. If I
had been a girl my name would be Lauren.)
Matilda Holohan
Preston Taylor
Cynical Purple Guy
Dr. Funk
Matt Asshole-ohan
Cuddles
Satan Boy
The King Pimp
God
Matt MacGyver
Welcome Matt
Mr. Dussel
Sex Machine
Grand Lord High Pimp-Ass Immortal
Ruler of the Earth and All Mankind
Kate Winslet's Soul Mate
Home.