Winston's Dissertation
Dear everyone, everywhere,
I knew of the Webpage only last week. Funny, but I had to know about it
from cousin-classmate, Ann Santos-Ayerst who is miles away playing with the
101 dalmatians in London. Together, we endeavored to find out who in
Carmen's World did all that. Not long before Adidas Jones could, we found
out that it was Markee the incredible, who lunches on "Bulalo" and dines on
"littid." Incidentally, Markee was the one who operated on my left
ankle, some 2 years back. After the operation, I couldn't move it forward.
To correct the problem, he operated on my right ankle. Since then I could
already move both, but backward. He is really very good! And bet you, he
has this warranty system that, if my ankles stop moving altogether, he's
going to replace them with his, less the varicose, of course.
I talked with Adidas, and he said everybody has been wanting to celebrate
the 20th year in the US. I understand Jingle has graciously lent her not so
old Davaoenean barge, on a "use it, no return basis." It is that kind of
barge they use for "Muro-ami" fishing, where you see live fish feasting on
human cadavers, while a dozen other guys are busy emptying water from the
bridge. I could now picture Paul and Jegells doing the Titanic pose just
below the anchor base. Rory is blowing the theme song through a shofar in
the Andy Gibb fashion, while Ted was caught snoring inside the Captain's
cabin. Strong winds couldn't prevent Romana Ann from playing golf on the
roof deck where the '79 teachers were kept in a cage. Andre and Alvin
were playing tennis on the stern. Harold was preaching the good news in the
girls' room. Rodrigo and Luchi catered the food a la Maricar, with Idith's
pan de sal as the main attraction. At the side of course, were Faith Café
and Billy's Burger. Eating to their hearts' delight were Marietta, Angie,
Bernadette, Monina and Marie Clemens. In the next cabin, a full blown
offshore court session was being conducted. On trial was Markee, for
damages brought about by my dis, nay, re located ankles. Teresa was
vehemently arguing in his defense, while my asthma-buddy Fitz leisurely led
the prosecution. I could hear Earl furiously banging the gavel in disgust
over the unruly crowd. If not for the timely arrival of Sheriff Addie,
nothing could have prevented Virgelio from shouting "broadcast" at Burton
who, at that time, was the grandest haciendero Mayor of Bayawan. Edgar and
Gaudencio were busy guarding the '79 faculty who were counting white
armpit hair. Pipin and a Dutch Boy were on a gondola painting the rusty
two-legged anchors erotically designed by Danilo. Rachel, the Doc on Board,
was busy treating our former Principal to a painfully painful pain, while
Peachy and Gigi were anxiously watching. Signature designer Caroline was
occupied modeling the latest fashion on board. Eager audience were
Patrick, Alexis, Kenneth, Peter and Ronaldo. Of course, Maebel was there
to ensure that Mayan, Giging, Christine, Nanette and Jessica were ready
for their turns. They were escorted by Romeo, Gil, Pedro, Manny and Lexie,
strictly, in that order. In the pantry, I saw Anna Luz refereeing Thais and
Socrates who were in their familiar sibling debates. Lynette Aledia sought
solace singing a duet with Joseph. With Christy on the keyboard, they sang
the hit song, "Height doesn't matter." Michael, Patricia and Daphne were
doing a trio at the backstage, unheard. Blingbling, Andrea, Wilhelmina,
Adeliza and Shelah were ready to clap theirs hands against their faces, as
Malechil, Freddie, Gary, Arnel, Rando, Nelson, Jone, Antonio and Noel were
throwing fried green tomatoes at each other. Nobody can stop the all too
familiar '79 chaos. Not even the burly Jose, the President Emeritus of RRS
Garnet which, I too, founded. In the engine room, neighbors Iannie and
Rembert were sleeping their hearts out, quite droolingly. Enthusiastically
and equally droolingly watching them were Rima, Susan, Neliza, Lynette
Anfone, Maribel and Lennie who, by that time, didn't even know they were
already on board. Perched on the railing, Natalia was translating to April
the extra conservative Spanish Medical book entitled, "La Ultima Medicina
para ka ma buntis y labatiba." Below them, Tres Marias Maria Meredith,
Maria Ligaya and Maria Estella prayed for safe deliverance. At this point,
the '79 faculty were busy eating each other's nails. Under the baton of
fiery Karin Litz, domesticated Annblyth, Virgie, Anita, Alice Jeanne and
Helen enjoyed feeding them with "tinolang tiki" "linat-ang lampin" and
"calderetang callo."
It will have left Dumaguete on August 2, 1998 for the Land of promised
Lewinskis and honeyed Jones. It sailed slow with a US naval escort led by
Edwin, Psalm, Raffy, Glenn and Andrevic. It's first stop was Siquijor to
fetch the anti-imperialist gadgets from Kenneth and Lyndon. While cruising
the Dauin straight, it managed to pick-up Cathy who, at that time, had a
honeymoon date with his husband on a foot long "bucong." By the side,
Jennifer was splashing water on Kendrick. Sarrieta was busy counting her
millions at the PNB branch on board under the auditing eyes of PDIC's Ann
Claire. Of course, Alex, Lilibeth, Amelyn and Utad were on board to
chronicle the historic event of crossing the Pacific in just two lifetimes.
The TriDors, --- Doris Saraña, Doris Tan and Doris Tan-Pastor were
commissioned to prepare the group's transit requirements while in Hoyleand,
where Carl and Nini were sunbathing under the heat of the moon. Nennen,
Avelee and Rica were playing mahjong under water. Jomilito, Isagani, Roy,
Jonathan and Iko were playing "pusoy-dos" in the cargo area. Cynthia
Palubio gets a powder-up at Rowena's and Karen Lasmariñas' beauty parlor.
Little Barbie was busy tutoring the children of the '79 faculty while
Lynette Anfone, Gilda, Emma, Mily, Lorna, Ruth, Liza, Evelyn, Joann,
Judelyn, Vivian and Jo Chan were tickling them to death in utter display
of vengeance. Jojo Ngan was caught quietly preparing her two
kilometer-trailed wedding gown designed by Rhoda. Janet had been waiting at
the American harbor with Tani Ray keeping her company and Arlene and
Victoria as pier stewardesses. As to when the barge arrives, however, they
do not know. What they do know is that, they'd wait there forever. Mary
Jane, Ruth and Mary Ann were at bay, selling some old dentures of two '79
faculty members. I saw Crislyn, May, Nancy Lim and Nancy Jocson asking a
yankee directions to reach Red Water Drive (Pulangtubig), Cross Water
Village (Tabuk-tubig), Plowville (Daro), Springville (Tubod), and of
course, Coverlane (Taclobo). I saw some other few faces, but because of
bad weather I couldn't recognize them. Perhaps Madame Auring can help me
see their faces through the "tawas" some other time.
Where was I? I guess, absent as usual!
I just heard all these from Adidas who was sleeptalking on top of the
Luneta Park flag pole, where the Juniors' flag has since been flying. I
cannot be responsible for any inaccuracies in the narration of what is an
otherwise corny story. If you don't like the story, blame him. If you like
it, thank me. In both cases, sue him for any and all affronts on your
persons. Don't worry, I paid for his lunch the other day.
Be him as he may, I am very happy for this timely linkage with all of you.
Please keep in touch, actuarily or otherwise. I was tempted to discuss the
actuary issue at length, but when I was done with the 9th page, I thought
I'd already be furnishing you a copy of my Masteral dissertation, which I
labored to get copyrighted! Not fair.
Thanks to everyone for obliging. Until next issue, I remain
Your humble servant,
Winston Abella Maxino
P.s. The next issue will be: WHO LOVED WHOM?
Please check back soon.