Rethorical Questions?
For thoes of you that know me, you know that I love unanswerable
questions. These are a few of my personal favorites. Hint: The new ones are listed first. If you haven't been here in a while, just start at the beginning and read until they look familiar.
Last Updated: 16/02/2001
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips after you use it?
Why is it necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it rain drops, but snow falls?
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What do people in China call their good plates?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what
does a freedom fighter fight?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If you type "*****" for a search query on the Web, do you get the answer to everything?
Why do they call it a Tv set, when you only get one?
Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
Why do we say that something is out of Whack? What is whack?
Why do we call the third hand on a watch the second hand?
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
If we have "convenient" stores, why don't we have inconvenient stores?
Do wet hens really get mad?
If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why do they have signs at Burger King that say, "Picture menus available for those who need them"? If you can't read, how can you ask for a picture menu?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game", when we are already there?
Why is it called "after dark", when it is really after light?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Can fat people really go "skinny dipping"?
Do geese get "peopled"?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
Do married people live longer than single people, or does it just SEEM longer?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Do fish get cramps after eating?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English
language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't
it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians
denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and
drycleaners depressed?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion
stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell
you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be
sure?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a
BROKER?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale
bread to begin with.
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but
a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
Why are wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to
make terrible?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs?
Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
If a vampire casts no reflection in a mirror, why do you always see their hair perfectly styled?
Whatever happened to Absorbine Senior?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they
are in charge of everything outdoors?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals
throw hamburgers?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
If a tin whistle is made out of tin, then what, exactly,
is a fog horn made out of?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is
where a train stops, then what is a work station?
If a deceased burn victim goes to a crematorium, does he get a discount?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't
going as ghosts, but as mattresses?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Why do they call it taking a leak, when you are actually leaving one?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you plan to fail, and you succeed, what have you done?
What hair color do they put on a bald man's driver's license?
How do they get deer to cross at the yellow road signs?
Why do they use sterile needles for lethal injections?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they
taste funny?
What is the speed of dark?
When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of
earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out
of the water?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
What's another word for synonym?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation?
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers
aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
How can there be self-help groups?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink
and drive?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited
there?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a
shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Where are Preparations A through G?
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw
the top one away?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why
you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon
called a yellow?
Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled a them would they
still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating
an endangered plant?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their
headlights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is
he still wrong?
If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?
To shoot a mime, would you need to use a silencer?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
If nothing will stick to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to pans?
Why do businesses that remain open 24 hours a day still have locks on their
doors?
People always tell you not to wear suede in the rain. Why not? Cows do.
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a
height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you
turn on the headlights?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes,
why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you
turn down the volume on the radio?
How do you tell when yogurt has gone bad?
Why is there an expiration date on a sour cream container?
If you placed a refrigerator in a climatically sealed room and left it
running with the door open, would the room get hotter or colder?
Why are flamingo's pink and their knees are on backwards?
Could God create a rock so heavy that he himself could not lift it?
If you ate your own foot, would you lose weight?
What is Braille for "Braille"?
Have you ever thought of all the holes there could be if people
would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Do babies think adults are cute?
If you melt a pool full of dry ice, can you swim in it without getting
wet?
If you are standing directly on the line between two time zones, and it is
12:00 on one side and 1:00 on the other, is it 12:30 where you are standing?
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know
the battery is dead?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice
as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the
universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward,
would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is
open, it's not a door?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
If con is the opposite of pro, does that mean that congress is the opposite of progress?
- Special thanks to Hillary Cantrell, Crystal Stewart, Bethany Paul and Laura Cavin for additions to the page.