Someone tried to foil my attempts to post a hilarious picture of Laney by taking the negative (by the way, that photo is copyrighted with my name on it.) However, I've had it scanned in for awhile. Muhahahaha.I can't wait to be out of this apartment.
I went through all of the cupboards looking for my stuff and I had to handwash everything. Every cup, bowl, fork, spoon, knife and plate had food chunks stuck to them. I spent an hour on a Pyrex pot that I have because whoever used it last decided that it's ok to put it away when it clearly has sticky crap all over it and chunks stuck to the bottom.
I just don't get it. No matter how many times I've said something about cleaning dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, there are people in this apartment that just don't get it. The reason there's dried pasta in every single glass is because YOU LEFT IT ON YOUR FREAKIN PLATE WHEN YOU PUT IT IN THE DISHWASHER. One of my frying pans is missing - who knows where the fluck it is and at the moment, I really don't care to look. Anyhow, if there are starving people in Chico, you may want to come and try licking the glasses; there are full meals dried to them.
In other news, I'll be the bartender at the American Cancer Society's "Rockin on the Rooftop" event at the Visalia Mall parking structure (top level..duh). Come visit me and Gina as we get everyone plastered from 9:30 to 11 p.m.
Chi and I have been running around California this week. Chi is really obsessed with plants and trees. I think Tuesday was her first day of seeing what a grape vine looks like.
Click here to see one of the coolest flash animations ever. It was the most popular flash animation at The Orion last semester and it's one of those you can watch over and over and over and still be entertained. Hi-yah
We're off to SLO today to go to the beach and get even more of a tan.
After four years of going to class daily at Chico State, I sat in the sweltering sun for three hours as I finally walked on the campus for one last time. Yes, I graduated yesterday. Whoopeeedoooo. Now I get to go find a job.
Let it be known that Joe sucks.
A special guest will be arriving at my house around 7ish tonight. Yay!
Joe still sucks.
Someone tried to foil my attempts to post a hilarious picture of Laney by taking the negative (by the way, that photo is copyrighted with my name on it.) However, I've had it scanned in for awhile. Muhahahaha.
In other news, I'm going to miss Dr. Yoder :*(. She said I was lots of fun and she was going to miss me. waaah. What a wonderful woman she is. Plus, she has the best yellow turtleneck. Oh, and she's a big hockey fan. bah.
Da Funball: Are you doing anything fun?
kelly0040: im smoking my bong
Da Funball: Smoking is bad for you.
kelly0040: hmm
kelly0040: well i was going to say i didnt inhale, but i did
Da Funball: I would have said "ROFL!!"
kelly0040: and I would have said "heh"
Da Funball: That would have been fun. Too bad we didn't do it.
The End.
I always meet the most interesting people through AOL's Instant Messenger. Please observe the following conversations and taunt these boys. Message them until they change their ways. Make them feel as stupid as they are.
GreyHarbor:
Hey how's it going? I'm Brandon...single male from Washington...I am 6'0 tall, 180 lbs, red hair, hazel eyes, VERY athletic, & a firm stomach. I was wondering if you would be interested in talking about sexual things with me??
kelly0040: sexual things, huh?
GreyHarbor: yes
kelly0040: I only like really fat guys, usually around 400lbs.
NASpyderG: hey'
kelly0040: Hello
NASpyderG: pic?
kelly0040: no, i dont pick my nose, sorry
NASpyderG: picture?
kelly0040: What would an 18 year old, who is tan and lives in southern california do with my picture? (I got this info from his bio)
NAspyderG: uh bye
Moral of this story is: don't message me thinking I will talk about "sexual things" or send you my picture. Obviously, if you're reading this, youve seen my picture, so you won't ask. However, feel free to message these two geeks and harass them.
Monday afternoon, you (laney) will visit this site and you will see the funniest darn picture in the world. Perhaps they'll put it on the cover of the Synthesis in case they lose a picture or something...:) kissy kissy
It's Saturday. I have some studying to do but I am doing everything not to study. So far I've done four loads of laundry, boxed up my winter clothes and books, and did my hair in corn rows. Oh, I haven't painted my toe nails yet, that'll be next.
Sunday is not only Mother's Day (hi mom), it's the SPJ (society of pro. journalists) vs. IABC (international assoc. buis. communicators) softball game. Last year, SPJ just womped on IABC with a score of 11-2 or something like that. I have a feeling that IABC has been practicing or something foolish like that, however, SPJ isn't going to give the Golden Stylebook away so easily. One Mile, Sycamore Field, Bidwill Park, noon. Be there or be..., well, not there.
I saw Save Ferris today (May 5) for free. Tyler saw them two weeks ago for $10. Too bad Cal Poly SLO doesn't have free Save Ferris shows. Just thought I'd share.
Well, while I'm on this updating splurge, let's give a few shoutouts:
Robert and Ingrid of Germany! (Quite possibly the coolest couple in Germany too)
Morgan in my ethics class! (Good luck finishing Catbytes before the deadline :) )
Val! (Well, she knows why...Felize Cinco de Mayo!)
Paul! (Good luck getting women to move to L.A.)
Laney! (YOU NEED TO GO TO CLASS)
In other news, Paul would like someone to sign the guestbook so he doesnt have two entries in a row. I know that the same five people visit my page and it's not like it's a secret. Sign the guestbook and stop being a wuss. However, if you're going to deface it with profanities, come up with something original. Don't just write the five basic cuss words over and over and over. That's not impressive. Instead, put long words together and make something fun to read that my mother would enjoy.
... in more ways than one
I spent the weekend at the Napa State Hospital where I, by choice, hung out with murderers. Not only were they convicted murderers, rapists and other fun things, they were found criminally insane or incompetant to stand trial. Lots of fun. One man asked me if I was an economics professor at Stanford University because I looked smart (he was probably the most sane person around).
Also, for some reason, restaurants and stores close at 3pm everyday. The only things open after that are the outlets and supermarkets. Please take note of that if you ever want to vacation there.
On Saturday, one of the cars, particularly the one I was seated in the backseat of, was rearended by a drunk driver. We heard him coming since he his breaks were screeeeeeeching for a good 5 seconds prior to hitting us. We pulled over to look at the bumper when he decided to take off and that's when the other car of people that were with us pretended to be Charlie's Angels and chased after him. A cop eventually came, took down his license plate #s and proceeded to explain to us that this man, who was drunk and hit us and left, hadn't done anything wrong because there wasn't any damage (except for his license plate being imprinted on the bumper of our car.) The other car of our folks came back and we followed them to where the drunk driver's car was, because he had pulled over and walked away with a young boy.
To make a long story short, the cop left and we were on our way, pissed off because the drunk guy hadn't done anything wrong. As we were driving away, we saw them walking around the block, so we called the cops again (who didn't seem to give a ratsrump about it) and followed behind them at 2mph until they stopped at a funeral home (ironic, eh?). The cops eventually came and arrested him for driving under the influence (with no mention of him hitting us) and we left.
The kicker to this story is that most of the people in the Napa State Hospital were there because they had mixed alcohol and drugs and the combo of the two can make someone crazy.
Also, the guy doesn't have keys to his car...I dont know where they could be... :)
So what have we learned from this story?
-don't drink and drive
-don't murder someone because it's bad
-people who think having sex with horses is funny do in fact belong in a hospital (we met a guy who had been convicted of that and I touched his Nintendo controller...eww)
-if you're going to hit someone with your car, drive off and then get out and walk away, don't leave your keys in the ignition
-if you're going to shave your head and you have bites between the creases of fat on your scalp, wear a hat
-each patient at the Napa State Hospital costs the state $100,000 to care for and they also have better health care than 75% of Californians
-the married nurse's house is haunted and the shower on the left will tear your skin off...use the one on the right.
This weekend, Jeana and I went to Sierra-at-Tahoe on Saturday for Boarding for Breast Cancer, a huge event full of booths giving away some nifty stuff, a bunch of bands and all the boarding and great snow one could ask for. I saw a lot of guys getting breast exams (even lift operators were offering free exams) and even Playboy made its way there (Jeana and I got $25 gift certificates for playboy.com). However, there was a definite lack of GIRL bands. No girl bands anywhere. Anyways, it was Fun, fUn, fuN.
Around 5pm after the lifts closed, we drove off to South Lake Tahoe and gambled like crazy. Jeana lost $20 and I won $60 on a Wheel of Fortune quarter machine...probably the same one I won $45 off of before I got carded and kicked out a year ago. We ate dinner at a place called Sprouts, which I highly recommend if you're ever in the area. It's a vegetarian place and most of the ingredients are organic. It's excellent. Everything on the menu looked sooooooo good. Jeana had a tostada, which was huge, and I had a tempeh burrito which was good.
So today is Monday. No school, but I still have Orion deadlines...booooo. I stayed up late playing EverQuest with Joe and he didn't get me killed (unlike every other time I play with him.)
"Will Jory get rid of that lavender SF Giants baseball cap?"
Signs point to yes
"Will all The Orion staff members running for AS. positions win?"
As I see it, yes.
"Will i find a job before I graduate?"
Outlook good.
"Will I like that job?"
Very doubtful
"Will it be on the West Coast?"
Signs point to yes.
"Will it be on the East Coast?"
Signs point to yes
"So where the heck am I going to work?"
You may rely on it
"Are you useless?"
Yes definitely.
Sigh....
Ah yes, another wonderful day in Kellyland. Today totally sucks because I have so much to do and so little time and I woke up at 10 instead of 8am and ...sigh, I have so much to do!
To the left, we have Mr. Bildung and to the right we have the lovely Ms. Villette. Notice that Mr. Bildung has the [LD] next to his name...that's because he sucks. Notice Ms. Villette is glowing. That's because she's better than Mr. Bildung, but he has green legs, which means they'll eventually fall off.
One day I will be this talented. I can feel it...
Today was a beautiful day...it was such a beautiful day that for a split second, I thought I lived somewhere in the mountains where the air is cool and not 90 degrees in April. However, it was just cloudy today and a heck of a lot cooler than yesterday.
Anyhow, to the left is the infamous Jory John's weekly cartoon in The Orion called Waterville that features the cutest darn fish you've ever seen. Thank God it's not wearing a baseball cap... :) In case you're squinting (I know you are), you can click on the image and get the one that is easier to read.
Speaking of The Orion, I sat in the basement for about 5 hours today asking the Magic 8-ball questions like, "Is soandso sleeping with soandso?" and "Magic 8-ball, don't you agree with me that certain people just weren't made to wear baseball caps?" (I'm one of them, but at least I can recognize the fact I look bad). Of course, the Magic 8-ball is worthless, but it kept me sane.