Why God never received a Ph.D.:

  1. He only had one major publication.

  2. It was in Hebrew.

  3. It had no references.

  4. It was not published in a refereed journal.

  5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.

  6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?

  7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

  8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.

  9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.

  10. When one experiment went wrong he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.

  11. When subjects did not behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.

  12. He rarely came to class, just told the students to read the book.
  13. Some say he had his son teach the class.

  14. He expelled his first two students for learning.

  15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.

  16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.

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