Our childhood is very much our history. We go through more, and discover
ourselves on a much grander scale than we would living ten adult lives.
It molds us into model citizens, or the criminally insane. We may become
a menace to society, or a non partisan. If human beings left the womb,
and immediately entered adulthood, our lives would be incomplete, and history
would cease to exist. A major part of our childhood, our history, is complete
before we reach the age of three. Clinging to infancy, we enter toddlerhood
with few possessions remaining from the past three years. Two of these
historical objects are our teddy bears and rubber duckies.
This rubber ducky craving began, understandably, in our youth, when our
parents would fill up the bathtub with an alien white substance. The air
was cool, the water was warm, and we wasted no time jumping in. We laughed
as we played with the bubbles, and cried as our parents tried to interfere
in this now sacred ritual. Even though we were having a randy old time,
somewhere inside of us, we expected a small yellow shape to break through
the mountain of bubbles. For we knew that when this small yellow creature
did find his way into our arms, with his round little head and his funny
orange beak, we would be able to take him in our arms. He would not protest
as we tickled and squeezed his little body. He would squeak with joy.
That one high, sharp sound meaning all the pleasure in the world was shooting
through each of our bodies. A warm incredible feeling that that rubber
ducky produces. But did you yellow bodied friend ever find his way into
your arms? If so, I'm sure you walk through your life with a smile in your
face, and a gleam in your eye. A gleam meaning that you have felt the warmth,
and all the pleasure of the world.
For those of us who have never felt all the pleasures that our world has
to offer, we are missing something. Sometimes, in the three minute show
shower we take each morning, we see that magical bubble mountain of white
hope. We curl our toes and clench our fingers, having urges to beat on
the shower walls with some small hope of breaking down the mountain and
revealing what has been missing all along. Your bath toy of choice.
I'm sure that if all of you look through your photo albums enough times,
you will discover that classic picture of you clutching your best friend.
Your teddy bear. Maybe it was taken the evening before the first day of
school, or as you watched you parents take away your night light, or your
special blanky. But as the years rode on, you seemed to need your best
friend less and less. Maybe at first he lay on your bed, instead of being
in your arms every waking hour. But he had his own special pillow, and
you almost never kicked him to the floor in the middle of the night. Then
he moved to your bed table, next to your alarm clock, so you could see him
every morning when you woke up. Soon he was lying face down on your chest
of drawers along with a bucket full of other stuff you didn't know what
to do with. Where did he go next, I ask you? To the attic? Storage?
Could you have possible (Gasp!!!!) even thrown him away?! The bear who
soaked up your tears after striking out at tee-ball? The only one who would
listen when your parents go to busy? The bear you dressed in black and
took to your grandmother's funeral? The one that seemed to come alive when
your sister ignored you? The one you clung to in the middle of the night
when the dogs seemed to turn to wolves outside our window?
And you say your life's complete. You say you have a happy marriage, and
your children smile often. Where are their teddy bears? Not in some attic,
or in storage. Their teddy bears are in their arms, in their beds, and
on their bed tables. No wonder they smile often. Do you? Have you ever
caught yourself smiling for no reason at all? Have you ever had urges to
run down to the toy store and visit your bear's relatives? No? That's
because your childhood teddy bear has the key to your heart. Not your husband
or your children, but your teddy bear. And you locked yourself up when
you threw away the key.
So look in your attics, closets and basements. If you don't find your
special friend, go to the nearest used toy store and buy ten teddy bears.
The the bear who's key best fits your heart. Tie red ribbons the other
bears necks, and donate them to the local hospital, where someone who's
a child on the outside can be one on the inside once again.