Back in the Early days of Gamma Mu, long before our chartering, but not to long after Genesis
night, Gregg Spitzer(Gamma Mu 6), and I were driving around the Montclair area searching for
something to do with the afternoon. At that time, it was Greggs traditional CRX that most of
these journeys were taken, with Greg driving, me in the passenger seat and Seth Gusman(Gamma
Mu 9) in the hatchback, his typical, freakish place of residence.
While driving down Route 46, we noticed the *American Way Mall*, and figured we'd stop for
a while and wander around. The three of us entered the mall, and noticed something very
unusual and extremely enticing. In the distance was a small replica of the original batmobile,
sporting its wide fins, sleek body and striking flamed detail. Even more curious was the fact that
there was a bust of batman in the drivers seat, ready to take all who entered, into Gotham. On
more careful inspection, it became apparent that this was a Batman kiddie ride. However it was
surprising how *stern* Batman looked. His eyes peered menacingly out from his jet-black cowl,
and his lips curled in a most determined fashion. In addition to Batman's severe stature, we
noticed that his face was scratched up, especially around the sides of his face, almost
intentionally.
Without losing a minute, we scrambled to find a quarter and drew straws to see who would ride
the Batmobile first. Shoppers stared in confusion while they witnessed the long and lanky
Gusman climb into the Batmobile, practically eating his knees. Giggling the entire time, we
placed the quarter into the machine and witnessed the Batmobile come to life. As most would
expect, a kiddie ride should be a calm, soothing and gentle ride, pacifying its youngster riders,
but oh no........not Batman.
From the instant the quarter activated the machine, Batman became possessed, bucking and
shaking the entire machine. Seth was jostled and thrown around in the batmobile as if caught in
a whirlwind. *Bam....Bambita-Bam BAM!!* Seth held on to Batman's head for dear life. Now
we knew! Now we knew why Batman's head was so scratched up. Petrified children clawed
onto batman's head to prevent them from being flung from the Batmobile. The batmobile
continued its flurry of violent jolts until finally after about 3 minutes, the storm subsided. While
Seth was still recovering from the Bat-attack, Greg and I giggled commenting, "Man, this ride is
gonna KILL some kid...I can't believe they'd make a ride this *nasty*!"
After each having our individual batman rides, we decided it was about time to go home. As we
turned around to leave we noticed a mother and her child approaching the Batmobile. The child
asked, "Mommy, Mommy I wanna ride the batmobile..." The three of us looked at one another
and smiled, since we knew what was going to happen. We decided to sit down on a bench again,
since we had the possibility of witnessing some kids vertebrae fly out of his eyes and *this* we
weren't going to miss.
"Mommy I wanna go on Batman....." Sitting on the bench we chanted "Kill the kid, kill the kid,
Batman's gonna kill the kid......". "No Johnny", the mother replied "Maybe some other time. We
have to go." With great disappointment we realized that it was just not meant to be. Quickly
shifting modes we thought of other ideas. We knew that if WE enjoyed the batmobile so much,
wouldn't *everyone* ? The batmobile is one of the *wildest* rides in the kiddie kingdom, and in
the spirit of adventure we should TAME Batman just as a bronco is "broken". And thus the idea
was sprung, we should bring the entire brotherhood to the mall for one reason, and one reason
alone....
STOP THE BATMOBILE
The following day 8 members of Gamma Mu assembled at the American Way Mall prepared to
do battle with Batman. After introducing the *newcomers* to Batman, through individual
Batman rides, we prepared ourselves for the task at hand. Loading three people on the back of
Batman, we inserted a coin.
Batman immediately sensed danger and began bucking, attempting to shake the onslaught from
his chassis! In desperation the riders clung to the batmobile as two more riders got on. Burdened
with the extra load, Batman still chugged on. After six people had climbed aboard, Batman's
condition deteriorated, his movements became labored. Finally the last two climbed on the front
of the Batmobile and hung on. So heavily laden with the weight of eight men, the batmobile
gave its best efforts to continue. The engine heaved,
"YEAY!!!!!!!", we exclaimed getting off the batmobile.
However Seth was still caught on the Batmobile when everyone got off. Having the burden
lifted, Batman leapt and shook in defiance, almost cursing the fact that it had been stopped.
Seizing Seth as a prisoner, it delivered its fury upon him. Leaving the mall triumphant, we
cheered "We Stopped Batman.......We beat the Batmobile" as onlookers shook their heads.
The following week, needing some entertainment Gregg and I returned to the mall for a "Batman
Break". Approaching the area that Batman usually parks, we noticed a vacant spot.
Puzzled and frantic, we looked around for batman. But he was Gone! Gone, gone, gone. No
more. All our thoughts and dreams of some day owning the Batmobile *melted* away. No
Batmobile at the Fraternity house, no Batman fundraisers, no Batman parties, no Batmobile.......
During this time, a janitor approached us exclaiming,
"You....you lookin' for da batmobile right !?"
"Yes.", we replied.
"Da batmobile's broke....He broke"
"Batman's in there.......he's in there......" pointing into a room.
We approached a door with a small window which we peered through to investigate the locked
room. It was dark and dismal, yet in the distant far corner, we could see the Batmobile pushed to
the side. Batman's face seemed even more angry then ever, his hands gripping the steering wheel
and his teeth clenched. He was furious. It was as though he uttered, "I'll get you guys for
this........" As we left the mall that day, there was a sense of loss, yet there was also a sense of
closure on the Batmobile saga, because we knew that we knew that we accomplished something
grand. Something that would last forever. We *BEAT THE BATMOBILE*.
