On My Way Home

Journal Entries

May 13, 2002

I am feeling reflective after having taken a bucket bath to wash off the day's dirt and sweat. We wrapped up the robbery business - unsuccessfully - decided to just leave it be. I guess that it was better that way. Alan left this morning, as Kristin said, our first goodbye. Those brief peaks of nostalgia - I will somehow miss my 12eme class.

May 22, 2002

It's strange to be packed up and ready to go - the walls bare, the closets empty, just like our first days here. Suddenly, I'm finally leaving and now that I'm leaving, I'm having regrets about things I didn't do - having a family, learning Malinke. This is it. This was my Peace Corps experience. Now I'm done.

May 23, 2002

So here it is - the big day. I worry I will leave something behind and I guess I am leaving part of myself behind. I cannot bare to look at the dog - I have broken my promis to him, and yet, it was his own fault. Am I really leaving? Are two years really over? Sometimes, I feel cheated, that this isn't what they promised. But they didn't promise anything - it was all up to me to take my own experience. It makes me want to try again, to do it correctly. But there is no right or wrong. There just is.

Email from Kankan

Date: Thu, 30 May 2002 03:19:26

In exactly 20 days from now, I will be on my way home. Needless to say, I can't wait. I have now officially moved out of Siguiri, far earlier than planned, primarily because I had a rather bad last month. To summarise briefly, our house was robbed by on of the few people we trusted and then everyone harrassed us excessively for visas, correspondants, etc. Not to mention that I passed 16 out of 120 12th graders and 25 out of 150 11th graders. At first, I thought I was being too harsh, but it is an accurate reflection of what they know (ie. nothing). They refused to do the homework (and one assignment a week isn't unreasonable), so what can I say. Those that did were successful, and at least that makes me happy. Those 16 12th graders who passed will probably also pass the national exam, and that is at least something. I don't mean to sound too negative-I did have some positive experiences. One of my Terminale students, Sekou Camara, was particularly sweet and gave us presents and thanked us for our two years here without asking for anything in return. I can really appreciate that now.

I am now whiling away my time in Kankan, trying to connect to the internet when possible, paying three times by daily wage to do so for an hour. Life is fun. Actually, the good news is that I'm going home 10 days earlier than planned because elections were scheduled two days after our original departure date. Since the borders are usually closed around elections, we were "forced" to leave earlier. Naturally, we were more than happy to do so. Aside from that, I've been reading a lot, cooking, and attempting to pull of chicken's head. (It was a failed attempt to kill a chicken-Gary was demonstrating, I tried and chickened out-we didn't have a sharp knife). I would like to say that I cleaned and cooked the headless chicken though so I wasn't an utter failuer. unfortunately, these skills won't be too useful, once I go back home.

As far as I know, I'm spending the summer in Slovenia, but no one has really talked to me about the plans. I plan to take the time to readjust to Western life (which may or may not be difficult-I think I can get used to running water and electricity) and then in September, school starts again, which I'm really excited about. I hope my brain cooperates. In interest of not spending my entire monthly allowance on an hour of technology, I shall end here. I hope all is well.
Urska

Whiling away time in Kankan and a continued obsession with the rain

Date: Fri, 31 May 2002 02:55:01

hi,
I got your emails; just haven't responded because email is kind of difficult here....To be honest, I have no idea what my plans are this summer and where i'll be; but i'll have email; so we can certainly work something out. As regards the mask; money isn't a problem but I'm not sure I'll have room; nor have i seen anything nice. But; i'll keep my eyes open'*-if i see something nice and small, i'll get it. What kind of class are you taking? I'm really tired-it was windy last night and i didn't sleep well because the noise freaked me out- I was alone in the house. Then I was up at five. But Annie turned up this morning with her friend, after a 20 hour car ride from Conakry, so that is nice. Nothing much else going on here. Just waiting for the rain as usual.
Urska

Date: Tue, 4 Jun 2002 01:54:00

Hi, I hope that this works. I've had no email luck these past few days, either being kicked off or simply not connecting. But at least I have access. Does it look like you're going to have any luck with getting your vacation approved. It's really a shame. But at least we'll be living in the same state next year....I've been reading geo articles to try iand get back into the swing of things, but I have no concentration skills. My mind just starts to wander. But I've read five so far, which I think is pretty good...

An old volunteer who used to live in Siguiri turned up yesterday. It's really weird, everyone loved him because he spoke Malinke and stayed three years. So that made me kind of dislike him, but actually, he�s quite nice. We've been comparing notes on Siguiri. Anyway, that's all. We had a huge rainstorm last night, lots of fun.
Urska

Journal Entry

June 18, 2002

It's strange to walk around the house and know I'll never be back here again. Dana left yesterday - I say goodbyes every day. So casual, but this is it, I'm leaving. Peace Corps is over - I'm an RPCV. How can I even sum up these last few weeks? EAting at places for the last time. I've never left a place before with the knowledge I'll never come back.

And home at last

Date: Sun, 23 Jun 2002 01:03:27

So here I am, back in tubabudugu (white man's land). I wasn't able to get you a mask-sorry. I was really short on room and ended up leaving quite a few of my belongings behind. I finally got to see your Mali pictures-very nice. (My hair was really horrible though)... I feel completely lazy at the moment and also incapapble of doing anything. I am seriously freaking out about going back to school in September. I thought that after Africa, everything would seem easy, but it's not true. by the way, do you have Stephan's email address? Tanja is talking about going to Paris next Friday. We watched Fawlty Towers last night. Have you ever seen it. It's with John Cleese. Really funny. I've actually seen it several times before, but Tanja has some friends over, so we watched again. It's really too bad you couldn't come. Maybe next year. Hope you had a nice weekend.
Urska

Journal Entries in Belgium

June 22, 2002

Being here is strange - there is so much that I can't share, that people don't understand. But at the same time, I belong here. I don't think about time passing. I'm never bored. Eating and running are not the sole occupations of my day. At the same time, I am terrified of going to grad school. I hate San Diego wihtout even having seen it. What if I have no friends. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in the US.

Sept. 13, 2002

I suddenly feel strange - almost as though I were about to get sick. I can't help wondering if something is still living in my stomach. I would like to bring my wall hangings and carpets but I don't think I have room. Anyway, it's better I see the apartment before I decide.
So I'm packed, ready to go. I think I will end my journal here. It seems strange, as though I am ending another phase of my life. A phase that was not necessarily the happiest but full of strange, exotic experiences. It doesn't seem like all that long ago that I was packing to go to Guinea - in a duffel bag and Keith's suitcase, just like now. Will grad school be the disappointment Peace Corps was? I will soon find out.

The Aftermath

Our house was robbed twice more after we left, once while we were still in country and once after we were already gone. Poor Amanda was left to deal with the consequences. This involved having Jack turned into the police because he was the only one who had a key to the house and having our dog, Cass, killed, because no one was able to look after him. As for me, I'm now a grad student at UCSD. Somehow, despite everything, I miss Guinea.

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