MICROSOFT SIMULATOR
===================
"What do you want to simulate today?"

This is a Microsoft-bashing program by James S. Baughn.

Version 1.0   June 18, 1997


TABLE OF CONTENTS
-----------------

1.  What the heck is this?
2.  Is this Shareware?  Crippleware?  Crappyware?  Buggyware?  Ideaware?
3.  Is there a shameless plug for your homepage?
4.  How do this program work? 
5.  What are all the files for?
6.  Does this program crash often?
7.  Are there any obligatory disclaimers and copyright notices?
8.  Are there any last words or awe-inspiring gems of wisdom?
9.  Is that all?
10.  Are your *done* yet?


1.  WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?
--------------------------

Microsoft Simulator is a program that allow you, a mere mortal, to play
the part of Bill Gates.  You have free reign over the actions of Microsoft.
You can initiate hostile takeover, bribe justice department officials,
release upgrade/bugfixes, invent new HTML tags, and (of course) more.
The goal of this simulation is to takeover or destroy all the competition.
Since Microsoft is such a huge monopoly, this is fairly easy.


2.  IS THIS...
--------------

...SHAREWARE?  No.  Why should anyone be required to pay for a
Microsoft-bashing program?  Actually, why should anyone have to pay for
a Microsoft program to begin with?

...CRIPPLEWARE?  No.  There are no disabled features.  Some of the features
and options may not be implemented yet, but the will be.  Soon.  Err...
well, in typical Microsoft tradition I may push back release dates for
future versions.  If Bill does it, why can't I?

...CRAPPYWARE?  No.  Microsoft WinDoze fits into this category, however.

...BUGGYWARE?  Sort of.  I'm sure there's probably a few bugs in this
program.  I mean, after all, this program is written in QuickBASIC, a
Microsoft programming language.  If it says "Microsoft", it's buggy.

...IDEAWARE?  Yes.  If you like this program and use beyond the 15 second
trial period, you must "register" it by "paying" me in ideas or
suggestions for improvement. 

Mail all positive ideas to:

jbaughn@geocities.com  OR
jbaughn@ldd.net

Mail all negative ideas or flames to:

billg@microsoft.com  OR
root@localhost

I will respond to all mail.  If I like your idea, your name may be mentioned
here in the future.  Then again, you may get the same response you get
when registering Microsoft programs - nothing.


3.  IS THERE A SHAMELESS PLUG FOR A HOMEPAGE?
---------------------------------------------

Yes.  This program is a publication of the Support Group for People
Used by Microsoft, an association formed to help people achieve nirvana
(i.e. a Microsoft-free existence)

The homepage for the Support Group is:
URL:  http://baughn.home.ml.org/sgpums.htm

The homepage for Microsoft Simulator is:
URL:  http://baughn.home.ml.org/mssim.htm

And finally, my homepage (non-Microsoft stuff) is:
URL:  http://baughn.home.ml.org


4.  HOW DOES THIS PROGRAM WORK?
-------------------------------

To invoke this program, type MSSIM at the ugly C:\> prompt.
Or, if you want to run it from within the QuickBASIC environment,
type QB, load MSSIM.BAS, and press F5 to run it.  

This program simulates several variables that affect Microsoft.  These
include product sales, ad budgets, bribes, competitors, etc.  The
simulation is composed of "turns", each of which corresponds to a day.
Every few seconds the turn will end (unless you've paused the simulation),
and new figures will be calculated and displayed for the next day.
There are three displays which show different aspects of the Microsoft
monopoly.  They are:

Financial Report (Default screen, press F1 to get into it if you're in
another screen) - Displays overview information about Microsoft, such
as top selling products, income, expenses, net worth, how popular
MS is with the public (usually a low figure), etc.

Products Report (press F2 for this) - Shows various stats on Microsoft's
products, such as price, sales, and total profits.  While in this
screen, if you hit ENTER, a menubar will appear.  Select a product, and
hit ENTER again.  You can now select several options that will affect
that product, such as changing its price, starting an advertising blitz
for it, or releasing a bugfix or upgrade.

Competitors Report (press F3 for this) - Shows the competitors to Microsoft.
You'll see your relation that that company (enemy, ally, hostile takeover),
how powerful that company is, what they think of MS, and their net worth.
Hit ENTER to bring up a menubar that lets you select a company.  A submenu
will pop up, letting you decide what you want to do with them (initiate
hostile takeover, ally with them, double cross them, hire their good
employees, spread rumors about them and more).

While you peruse these screens, the simulation will run and the information
will be automatically updated.  You can control the speed of the
simulation by using the number keys:

0 - pause
1 - verrrrrryyyyy slllloooowwwww... users of WinDoze should feel comfortable
    with this speed.
2 - tad faster
3 - little bit faster
4 - somewhat faster
5 - medium speed
6 - faster still
7 - getting pretty fast
8 - very fast - no MS program has ever run this fast!
9 - no delays at all, the sim runs as fast as your CPU can handle it.
    Watch as decades pass in minutes!

In any screen you can hit the ALT key to bring up a menu of devious
actions you can have your employees do.  The options should be
pretty self-explanatory, unless you are a Microsoft programmer.

Hit the ESC key to back out of any screen or menu.  Hit it again
to exit this wonderful program.

Hit the CTRL key to have the computer simulate a typical meaningless
Microsoft error message.  Note:  these are not real!

Your goal in this program is to maximize profits, increase your
net worth, and then buy out (or destroy) rival companies.  You can
initiate hostile takeovers or drop Microsoft Bombs(TM) (Try it!) from
the Competitors Report screen (F3).


5.  WHAT ARE ALL THE FILES FOR?
-------------------------------

Listing of files:

   MSSIM.EXE - main MS Simulator program.  It was created by a Microsoft
               compiler, which is why it is so bloated.

   MSSIM1.SCN \
   MSSIM2.SCN  \ Screen files that are BLOADed into the program.
   MSSIM3.SCN  / (You must be a QB user to understand that.)
   MSSIM4.SCN /  These files must be in the current directory.

   MSSIM.BAS  - source code.  MSSIM is the main module,
   MSSIM2.BAS   and MSSIM2 has some extra stuff.  They had to be
                split up to accomodate QB's Microsoft-imposed limitations.
   
   MSSIM.MAK  - QuickBASIC Makefile, required if you plan to run this
                using the source code.

   MSSIM.TXT  - this beatifully formatted, ASCII-compliant file with
                frequent grammatical erors and mispelings.


6.  DOES THIS PROGRAM CRASH OFTEN?
----------------------------------

It shouldn't.  However, the program requires the files MSSIM*.SCN
to be in the current directory to work.  If they are not, the program
will terminate with a meaningless error message (courtesy of Microsoft
QuickBASIC).  There may be a few bugs, but unlike bugs in WinDoze 95, these
shouldn't crash the computer.


7.  ARE THERE ANY OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMERS AND COPYRIGHT NOTICES?
---------------------------------------------------------------

Yes.  This program is (C) COPYRIGHT 1997, James S. Baughn.  All
right and lefts reserved.  This program is protected by international
copyright statues.  (Hey, Microsoft always says that...I should to.)

LICENSE AGREEMENT (ha!)

By using Microsoft Simulator (the "SOFTWARE"), you abide by the
following conditions:

1.  If you experience harm as a result of using the SOFTWARE (i.e. your
dog bites you or your computer crashes for the umpteenth time), I
AM NOT RESPONSIBLE.

2.  You agree that Microsoft is a monopoly and must be dealt with
swiftly and harshly.

3.  You will not send flames to my fore-mentioned email address.

4.  You realize that all trademarks are the property of their respective
company or holder.

5.  You also realize that this program does not intend disrespect to
any person or business.

6.  You don't hold any Microsoft stock or say the Microsoft Pledge of
Allegiance (see the Microsoft Dictionary,
http://baughn.home.ml.org/msdict.htm for the definition of this...ha!
I snuck in another shameless homepage plug.).

7.  You only use this SOFTWARE on the computer for which it was
originally intended  (OOPS...this is from the WinDoze 95 License
Agreement.  Sorry, this one doesn't apply.)

8.  You may use some of the source code in your own programs, as long as you:
    a.  Register your copy of MSSIM by sending me ideas (see above)
    b.  Give me credit in your program


8.  ARE THERE ANY LAST WORDS OR AWE-INSPIRING GEMS OF WISDON?
--------------------------------------------------------------

Last words:  I hope your enjoy this program.

Awe-inspiring words of wisdom:  Boycott Microsoft.
http://msbc.home.ml.org


9.  IS THAT ALL?
----------------

No.  Please read this superfluous and unnecessary notice.

NOTE:  This text file is best viewed with a non-Microsoft ASCII
text viewer.  No HTML was used in the creation of this document.
Last updated:  June 18, 1997


10.  ARE YOU *DONE* YET?
-----------------------

Yes.

