ANGER

Tell me....why is it when people are upset, or angry about something, they feel compelled to go and spread their childishly-pent up anger across the world like watered-down peanut butter. Or perhaps they spread it like "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter : Spray"...You know, I love that commercial...the one where that one old chick is married to Fabio, because the commercial is simply one long sexual fantasy centering around butter...Actually, that's mildly scary....What about the butter is so sexy? Apparently SOMETHING, since she thinks about the most manly man she can...I guess she must use it as some kind of sexual lubricant! That....pervert! I'm going to complain to the network censors...It's sort of like that "Herbal Essences" commercials...my grandma basically gets off to those commercials she gets so excited...Please, for the love of Eris, someone take those off the air, or else put my grandma in a kennel. Speaking of kennels, have you ever realized how dogs have basically three volumes...they have, soft...not so soft....and fucking airhorn...But back to anger....anger really is something that should be abolished in the United States...I mean, let the Goddamned Brits have all of our anger! Yeah...and ship some over to those gargantuan Swedes! The Polish could use a good helping of good old fashioned American spit'n'vinegar! Ha, and then we will be living in a veritable Utopia...Except, you know what? Some old, dirty, child-molesting man, well over the age of 80, having pent-up sexual frustration since the age of 13, will be completely unable to release his anger...even at the Brits! This man....will become our god....We will have to dance naked around him, and send in our children at the age of 6....We will all be castrated with wooden tongs, except for this man, for he will intimidate us all....Death and chaos will rule on high...................................................................................It will be a beautiful world...

If there's one thing that I hate, it's people that are late...My, that sounds like a line out of a rap song...Anyways! I don't really mind people that are five minutes late...Even the occasional ten minuter is good for a laugh...but people who are late simply piss me off...Minutes turn to hours, and hours turn to weeks, and weeks turn to years (Late people don't DESERVE months), until they finally show up, and...it's too late, I'll already be miserable...Is there time so much more important than mine?! I should start requiring 24-hour notification prior to their lateness, or else a $50 compensation deposited to my private bank account UP THEIR ASS. Now, these might seem like simply inane, wandering rambles, but their not...These are the thoughts that I want to express, so read on, whore, or else I'll come over there and drag you out of your bed like the ANIMAL THAT YOU ARE, and then proceed to burn your house in a flagrant display of MY power. Anyways....but more than anything in the world, I despise people that simply neglect to show up...Oh, I don't mean being stood-up like on a date where your date doesn't even want to go out with you in the first place...I'm saying people that are your "friends," that you've gone out with many, many times before, that simply forget about you! These people should be dragged into the street, and every human being on earth be allowed to put a slug of lead in between their eyes. Thank you.

--A Very Pissed-Off El-Salvador