Sinistral's Warped Poll

In a society obsessed with, governed and motivated by polls, one more certainly can't hurt. They are an inspirational way to figure out the feelings of people who just happen to come by your webpage. How could I resist!

So I bring to you, The Warped Poll! Please, don't hold back and vote for what you truly think is best! :)

- Sini's Poll de Prez -

The Candidates' Positions

If you can't figure out which to pick just yet, you can read all five of these candidates track records. Be sure to weigh every single runners' record with great care and make the decision you feel is best!

Name: Newt Gingrich
Party: Republican
Current Job: Speaker of the House
Resembles: A really big walking bug with a pinched-in face.
Religion: Christian
Biggest Accomplishment: Led the Republican Charge in Congress since '94
Biggest Mistake: Led the Republican Charge in Congress since '94
Quote: "Americans want a Republican Revelution."

Name: Dan Quayle
Party: Republican
Current Job: Motivational speeker for the Republicans, Ex-Vice President
Resembles: A little boy in a really big body
Religion: Christian
Biggest Accomplishment: Getting chosen by George Bush to be VP
Biggest Mistake: Spelt Potato incorrectly
Quote: "We have the most well-educated Americans in the world."

Name: Al Gore
Party: Democrat
Current Job: Vice President, Ex-tobacco farmer
Resembles: A telephone pole
Religion: Christian
Biggest Accomplishment: Environmental Activism
Biggest Mistake: Tie - Farming tobacco ever/Forgetting to give much to charity in '97
Quote: "I will now do the Al Gore version of the Macarena."

Name: Sinistral
Party: Liberal
Current Job: Web Page Scribbling
Resembles: A big shadow with a question mark in it.
Religion: Agnostic/Clogism
Biggest Accomplishment: Found out how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop.
Biggest Mistake: Forgetting the number of licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop.
Quote: "You have five choices: A jerk, an idiot, an embarrasment, a criminal . . . or me."

Name: Hamburgler
Party: Fast Food Franchise Mascots of America (FFFMA)
Current Job: Stealing Burgers (Or trying to)
Resembles: Something that escaped from the prison of Munchkin Land
Religion: Burgism
Biggest Accomplishment: Stealing a burger
Biggest Mistake: Mistaking Ronald McDonald's behind for a Quarter Pounder with Cheese
Quote: "Robble Robble!"

And that's all the candidates. Now you should be well equiped to vote for the best! :)

Sinistral, 1998

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