There were once two fellows by the names of Conserva-Tom and Liber-Alex. Both of them liked certain kinds of fruit. Conserva-Tom liked tomatoes and Liber-Alex liked Apples. But Conserva-Tom, you see, heard one day that most voters HATED ALL kinds of fruit. This public hatred for fruit was called, "Fruitphobia". SoConserva-Tom, who was soon going to be running against Liber-Alex in an election for mayor of Polly-town, began telling everybody that HE hated fruit too, and when word leeked out that he liked Tomatoes, he insisted that Tomatoes weren't really fruit and therefore didn't count. Meanwhile he made sure that the high percentage of Fruitphobic people knew absolutely EVERYTHING about how much Liber-Alex liked apples.
But tomatoes ARE fruit. Conserva-Tom wasn't really holding an "Anti-fruit stance" as he'd claimed. He'd just tricked people into thinking his pro-fruit stance wasn't actually Pro-fruit.
Meanwhile, Liber-Alex didn't want to lie to the public and say that apples weren't really fruit, or that he didn't like fruit. He did like certain kinds of fruit and wasn't about to hide behind a cheap political gimmick like Conserva-Tom was! So it turned out looking like Conserva-Tom was anti-fruit and Liber-Alex was Pro-fruit. And since the fad the voters were all hung on were anti-fruit, Conserva-Tom won the election, and the people wound up getting allot of tomatoes shipped into Polly-town, and they made pretend that the Tomatoes were actually vegetables instead of fruit, after all,Conserva-Tom had said so!
And that's how conservatives win elections.
