A figure walks up to the podium in a bow tie and dark suit, "Ladies and gentlemen of the fahne Rightarium Restoration Church. Allow me to introduce the man with the power, the one who God hath chosen to speak unto all you, the little people. Our beloved, Reverend C!!!
A man in a glittering suit bounds onto the stage with hands raised high, Bible in one hand, cross in the other. The church bursts into appluase and the Reverend, known only as "C", speaks.
"Thankyou thankyou, mah bruddahs an' mah sistahs! Ah can not thankyas enough for such a glooorious welcome. May the Lord shine upon ye from the Heavens until the end of eternity!"
"But, mah freinds, Ah come in a sorrowful mood today. Our freinds the Southern Baptists, bless their soooouuuuls, have tried to enforce their boycott against Disney, but so far have had little effect. This boycott must be encouraged freinds! Disney has invited freindlyness to the most horrible unholy scourge of them all... the HOMOSEXUALS"
(Gasps from the crowd)
"Yes it's true, Disney supports these vile creatures who must be shunned across EVERY nation of this world! Ah swear, mah bruddahs an' sistahs, Ah have suspected this for a good while now. You see, this great evil has been among us for a while now. Among us in the form of THESE two chipmonks!:"
"Chip and Dale, the Disney gay duo!"
"Yes, Ah have always sus-pec-ted that Chip and Dale were homosexual lovers. Can you not tell? The beady eyes? The fact that they live in the same one-bed-room tree? How Chip is always planting "a certain body part" in Dale's be-hind. It is evil! And at the fault of the scourges at Disney! DAMN THEM TO HELL!"
"We must fight this evil, mah freinds! An' do it now with all our might! For the sake of our children, our future, our beliefs, HALLELUJAH!"
(Amens from the crowd)
"Yes, AMEN mah freinds... AMEN!"
This has been a public Sunday sermon, from the wonderful Reverend C
