Conservatives continue to endorse the Death Penalty. Some go past just "First Degree Murder" some want to have the death penalty applied to Drug-dealers or even drunk drivers. As much as I despise drunk driving, this seems a bit harsh, no?
Anyway, obviously, instead of holding onto the rights of the accused and the rights that help criminals become helpful members in society, the huge amount of death-penalty supporters tells us that we need to bring corperal punishment just to keep crime down. Why have it at just the death-penalty?
I propose, for the following actions, punishments for conservatives to endorse:
~ Murder = Death Penalty (by Electical Chair)
~ Drug Dealing = Death Penalty (By Lethal Injection)
~ Drug Doing = Death Penalty (by Gas Chamber)
~ DWAI = Death Penalty (By running over with a steam roller)
~ Shoplifting = Cutting off of your dominent hand with a big curved sword
~ Window Peeping = Plucking your eyes from their sockets
~ Rape = Cutting off your penis with a grapefruit knife
~ Breakng and Entering = Tying you up, naked. Then placing you in a public square
and having eight-year olds hurl shards of glass from the window you broke to invade the
house. If you didn't shatter a window, the Eight-year olds bring their own shards.
~ Lying in a court room = Slicing your tongue in half, verticly, and tying both ends
together.
~ Swearing in Public = Stitching your mouth together.
~ Corruption in Corperate management = Conservatives, as a policy of lassiez faire,
think this is okay, so we'll let them get away with this.
~ Abortion = Death Penalty (by Burning at the steak)
~ Refusal/failure to pay a parking ticket = Bashing you over the head with a parking
meter
~ Draft Dodging = Death Penalty (By firing squad)
~ Communism = Death Penalty (By shoving a painted-red sickle through the
communist's forehead)
~ Truant = Locking you into the janitor's closet overnight.
~ Atheism = Sacrifice
~ Illegally Immigrating into the Country = Shoving you into a canon and aiming you at
the country you came from. Then shooting you back.
~ Suicide = Having your corpse displayed on the side of the road with a sign around
your neck that reads: "I commited suicide. Don't be stupid like me."
~ Mugging = Beating you over the head with hammers. Done by a trained troop of
senior citizens
With these punisments put into law, we will finally acheive Fascism.
Oops! Did I say Fascism? I mean justice! Really!
Sinistral, 1997.
