Robin's Tale of the Lower Lip
Robin's Tale of the Evil Imposter Lip!
Have you ever in your life felt sure that what you definately saw was
wrong? It had to be wrong! Everyone saw it, but I just can't believe...
(breaking down into sobs for a few moments, then slowly sniffing and
wiping away tears) Okay, okay, here's what I saw, here's what everyone
saw, but it just *couldn't* be true...
I was in a grocery store one morning, buying a few things for dinner,
you know, corn and such, when the entrance door slammed open. It was
electronic, the kind that opened on their own, but with a dying squeal
the intruder mangled the poor thing so it never opened uselessly as
someone passed by again. Poor thing...we held a funeral for it later...
it was so sad. (a few more sniffs)
We all gasped collectively in speechless horror when we saw who had done
this dastardly deed... the Lip! Our hero, who stood for everything true
and right in this cold, cruel world, had destroyed an innocent
appliance, and then proceeded to squish all the helpless oranges, then
ran off screaming ugly things about the kumquats I could never repeat
here.
It couldn't have been... it couldn't... but the entire thing was caught
on the security camaras...
That was an imposter Lip, I tell you, a despicable villain that poses as
our protector to ruin the image of the Great One. Help me bring this
awful monster to justice, please, I implore you! (bursting into tears
again)
Robin