APPLICATION FOR 


WACK COUNTY MILITIA 


Defending Freedom - Ducking Taxes 


Call 1-800-WACKJOB or get us on the Internet at Wack.Com 
 
                                    -------------    ------------- 
       White People                | Your right  |  | Your other  | 
       With Attitude               | thumb print |  | right thumb | 
                                   |             |  |    print    | 
                                   |_____________|  |_____________| 
 
  Name________________________________________  Sex: [ ] Yes [ ] No 
 
  Your Secret Code Name_________________________ (Make One Up) * 
 
  Address_________________________-> where we can find you when the 
                                     jack-booted robots of the 
                                     Federal Government come to 
                                     seize our precious essence 
 
 
  PREVIOUS MILITARY EXPERIENCE 
 
  [ ] US Army   [ ] US Navy  [ ] Other country   [ ] Tom Clancy Novels 
 
  Highest rank attained:            Rank qualified for: 
 
  [ ]  No military service -->      Sergeant 
  [ ]  Mess cook           -->      Colonel 
  [ ]  Company clerk       -->      Admiral 
  [ ]  Tank mechanic       -->      Brigadier General 
  [ ]  Bugler              -->      Major General (or higher if 
                                    you still have the bugle) 
 
  Can you read a map?               [ ] Yes  [ ] No 
  Do you know anybody who can?      [ ] Yes  [ ] No 
 
 
  PERSONAL INFORMATION 
 
                 ----------------------------------------- 
                |              Attach Photos              | 
                |                  |  |                   | 
                |    Full face     |  |      Profile      | 
                |                  |  |                   |
                |                  |  |                   |
                |                  |  |                   |
                |                  |  |                   | 
                |__________________|  |___________________| 
 
                        Note:  Your local police           
                               may have extras             
 
 
  Check the weapons you own:   |  Check your largest caliber handgun: 
    [ ] Machine gun            |    [ ]  .22 
    [ ] Mortar                 |    [ ]  .38 
    [ ] Bazooka                |    [ ]  .45 
    [ ] 155 mm SP Howitzer     |  Check your IQ: 
    [ ] V-1 Rocket             |    [ ]  .22 
    [ ] Bags of fertilizer     |    [ ]  .38 
    [ ] Chemical weapons       |    [ ]  .45 
 
  Vehicles owned: 
    [ ] '67 Olds          [ ] '71 Charger      [ ] German Tiger tank 
    [ ] Pickup            [ ] Jeep             [ ] M-60 tank 
    [ ] Space ship        [ ] APC              [ ] M-1 tank 
 
 
  YOUR CORE BELIEFS: 
 
  Do you believe: 
 
  [ ] The government is out to get us.  [ ] Elvis is alive. 
  [ ] Bill Clinton is a space alien.    [ ] George Bush is a commie. 
  [ ] Janet Reno is a Cuban mole.       [ ] Barney is Satan. 
  [ ] No one can see you if you are wearing camouflaged fatigues. 
 
  IF YOU SCORE AT LEAST 4 YOU'RE ONE OF US
  Welcome, Friend 
 
  OATH OF a LEGIONS:
 
      I pledge a legions to the Unfried Steaks of Amelia and to the 
      Republican Fort Wigitstans.  All the rest have 31 except my 
      Grandmother who drives a Ford.  You betcha. 
 
              OR MY NAME AIN'T_____________________________________ 
                                          sign here (or mark X) 
 
    * Suggested secret names if you can't think of a good one: 
   Green Arrow, White Tornado, Captain Midnight, The Flash, Il Duce

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