Nazi Fashion Tips

It seems that, shortly after Hitler's rise to power, there was a great deal of discussion about the new uniforms that the German soldiers would wear. It didn't take long to settle on a style, but there were heated debates about which color should be used.

One faction argued in favor of white: "The uniforms should be as white as snow!" they would exclaim. "To symbolize the pure and cleansed world that Germany will create." A second faction supported black uniforms: "As black as the death that will be visited on all enemies of the Aryan people." A third group suggested Imperial Purple, to represent the inherent nobility of all true Germans. And there were many, many factions besides these.

Hitler saw the wisdom of all of these arguments, and was unable to choose between them. He wrestled with the problem for many days, but came to no conclusion. He finally realized that he was just going in circles, and decided to take a vacation. "When I come back," he thought, "I'll be refreshed, and maybe I'll be able to see something that I overlooked."

During his travels, he found himself in a Spanish arena, watching a bullfight. After the entertainment was over, he went to see the most skilled of the matadors. "If you have a few minutes," he said. "I'd like to ask you about your cape. Why is it that particular color? Is there some symbolic meaning?"

The matador gazed down at his red cape. "Symbolic meaning? No," he replied. "The color was chosen for practical reasons. It hides the bloodstains that we inevitably pick up in the arena. If it was some other color, it would quickly turn into a gory mess. (By the way," he added, "many people claim that the color red enrages bulls. But this is just an 'old spouse's tale'; bulls are actually colorblind.)"

Hitler was so stunned that he hardly heard the last comment. "No symbolic meaning?" he gasped. "Only practical reasons? That's brilliant! After all, practicality has long been the hallmark of the Aryan race (as opposed to the lesser races, who generally do things at random for no good reason). My problem is solved! I must return to Germany right away!"

And that's the story of why Hitler and his soldiers wore brown pants.


DISCLAIMER FOR THE CLUELESS:
This is humor, folks. I am not a White Supremacist or a Skinhead.


Document Source: "Re: 'Nuther Joke!" posted April 19, 1995 to the newsgroups alt.politics.white-power, alt.politics.nationalism.white, alt.revisionism by Charles Don Hall, Licensed Philosopher ([email protected]).

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