THE SCOTT L.
ALL-WHITE APTITUDE TEST

In order to establish which of us are true WHITE people, we at the Institute For Racial Purity Studies, under the leadership of our glorious Fuhrer, Les Griswold, and Reichsmarshall ScottL (Chief Of Staff for Profanity) have devised the following test for White Supremacist types. Please answer ALL questions and submit your completed form to the Institute. Unfortunately, we can't give you the address because we're afraid the Zionist International Conspiracy, led by the evil Freemasons, will get us. They send gamma rays through our appliances.

  1. Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?

    1. Ulysses S. Grant and his wife
    2. Ulysses S. Grant and the Marx Brothers
    3. Ulysses S. Grant and Heinrich Himmler
    4. There is no Grant's Tomb, it's a Jewish conspiracy to appropriate tax money for "upkeep."

  2. What colour is a red fire engine?

    1. Red
    2. Aryan white
    3. Jewish olive drab
    4. Fire engines are a Jewish conspiracy

  3. In the following equation, X = 1 + 2, solve for X.

    1. 3
    2. 6,000,000
    3. 1933
    4. I failed Grade 3 because of a Jewish conspiracy

  4. Bases loaded, nobody out. The batter pops the ball high above the infield. What's the call?

    1. It's an infield fly
    2. It's a homicide
    3. It's a marmoset
    4. It's a Jewish conspiracy

  5. Name the four Beatles.

    1. John, Paul, George, and Ringo
    2. Adolf, Heinrich, Hermann, and Erwin
    3. Beavis, Butthead, Ren, and Stimpy
    4. Rock music is for "niggers." Besides, it's a Jewish conspiracy

Tally up your results! Scoring:

If your answers were MOSTLY "A", not good. "A" was always the right answer. Unfortunately, being able to cite fact and think logically means you can't be a racist. Try having your brain removed and try again next year. Unless, of course, you're in on the Jewish conspiracy.

If your answers were MOSTLY "B", not bad. "B" answers were all wrong, but randomly so. Same for "C".

IF your answers were MOSTLY "D", great! You not only got everything wrong, you got them WHITE. Meet us in our secret headquarters trailer and you too can join the fight against logic, reason, and decency!

DISCLAIMER FOR THE CLUELESS:
This is humor, folks. I am not a White Supremacist or a Skinhead.

Document Source: Please read! Take this test!, posted June 30, 1995 in newsgroup alt.politics.white-power by Rick Jones.

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