Aryan Leaders form New Alliance

National Socialists Reveal True Essence of Aryans

In a smoke-filled room, somewhere on Vancouver Island...

Ken Mcvay: "Damn that Kleim! He's making me look like an asshole. What are you guys gonna do?"

Rabbi Steinbaum: "Oy vey, Mcvay! Vot are YOU goink to do? Vot do you think vee are payink you for? Do you vont to go back to selling schokolat bars at zee gas station?"

Abe Cohn: "Damned be Jesus!! You hired a gas station attendant? This is a waste of time. I'm going back to New Yuk!"

Ken Mcvay: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just need more time."

Rabbi Steinbaum: "Time! Time! I lost over one hundert family in zee showers of Dachau! You vont 'time'. Vee have no 'time'."

David Weiss: "What can we expect from a goyish putz?"

Act II by Stewart King:

[laughter]

Ken Mcvay: "Okay, very funny. Can you drop the accents now?"

Rabbi Steinbaum: "No! I've got it going really good. I sound just like my grandfather. Let's crank call Les again before I lose it."

Ken Mcvay: "Isn't that kind of a waste of time?"

David Weiss: "It's not like they're going to get the jump on us by actually doing something useful."

Rabbi Steinbaum: [from the kitchen] "Where's the number?"

Abe Cohn: "I think it fell off the bulletin board. It's behind the desk."

Rabbi Steinbaum: "Got it."

[dials phone]

------------- ************ ------------ *********** ------------- *********

Somewhere in Ottawa...

[Les Griswold is in his basement lab, dropping litmus paper into vials of earwax collected from neighborhood schoolchildren.]

[the phone rings.]

Les Griswold: "Hello?" [attunes superior Aryan hearing to detect percentage of White genes in the caller.]

Rabbi Steinbaum: "'Ello? Ees this Les Griswold?"

Les Griswold: "Yes, who is this?"

Rabbi Steinbaum: "This is Bobby Fischer, I live down the street. I'm selling candy for a fundraiser for..."

Les Griswold: "Hang on." [consults charts next to vials of earwax] "Okay, you're clean. What do you want again?"

Rabbi Steinbaum: "Want to buy a schokolat bar? They're tasty."

[muffled laughter]
Abe Cohn [in background]: "Let me talk to him."

Rabbi Steinbaum: "Shut up, Abe. So, Les - "

Les [catching on]: "Listen, Jew, I've got important work to do, so unless you've got an actual sinster threat or ultimatum to deliver..."

Rabbi Steinbaum: "What kind of work? Testing children's earwax?"

Les Griswold: "What? No."

Ken Mcvay [on extension]: "So, Les, how's Sylvie? Her circulation okay under that tight wristwatch?"

Les Griswold: "[thump]

[Les is attacked from behind by irate neighborhood mothers who have broken into the house because they're upset at him for grabbing their children off the street and swabbing their ears out.]

Rabbi Steinbaum: "Hello?"

"Damn. The line's dead."

-*- twilight zone theme -*-

Act III by Gord McFee:

( OK Miltie--you asked for it.)

In a smoke-filled room, somewhere near the unemployment office......

Miltie Kleim: "Lessylvie, what are we gonna do? There's only two of us. The Fuehrer and all our heros are barbecuing in Hell, and the only Leader we have is Ernie Zundel. Hell, he can't even run a Web site right."

Lessylvie Griswold: "Ach, Miltie, I haven't a clue. All the big boys have left the Net, torn and frayed, and we little guys are the only ones left. At least, Herr Miltie, *you* have lots of time on your hands. But I! Working so hard to guard the black folks and for a black boss. How come these Untermenschen are the bosses and we Aryan Superduperoberpoopenfuehrers are the joe-boys? It just ain't right."

Miltie: "I should be so lucky! Job? Hell, I can't even bum moolah off the old man--peckerhead threw me out on my ass. Something about disgrace to the family. And I have all the qualifications of Fred Leuchter! It ain't fair--it's the dirty Jooos and the Niggras that is responsible."

Tom Moron: "Duh...what was dat?"

Lessylvie: "Oh, shut up, Tommie-wommie, we're plotting the takeover of the world. Go count some trees in Israel."

Tom: "Gee, tanks Lessylvie. Guess you'll have lotsa time on your hands, right?" [giggle]

Miltie: "Hey, I know. Let's make ourselves the Director and the Chief Officer of the Aryan Secret Societal Holistic Omnipresent League Empire, ok?

We can get shiny new uniforms from the Salvation Army--course, we'll have to beat a couple of them up first, but don't worry: some of those ladies are only 4'11".

Lessylvie: "But Herr Miltie. That's a real mouthful. Aryan Secret Societal Holistic Omnipresent League Empire. We need a snappy acronym, to capture the masses."

Miltie: "No problem, sir/ma'am. We'll just call ourselves A.S.S.H.O.L.E for short! That'll impress folks."

Tom Moron: "Duh...what was dat?"

[To be continued]

DISCLAIMER FOR THE CLUELESS:
This is humor, folks. I am not a White Supremacist or a Skinhead.

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