Sitting in those glass towers, overseeing a mountain of money pouring in from disgruntled, yet appeasable, Cubs fans.  Chicago Tribune's Annual Financial Report

The word handed down, " get a leadoff batter with mad speed, give up 2 or 3 minor league pitchers...but don't tell them he's lost a step or can't hit .280 or never took walks to begin with in Florida" Juan Pierre

The edict submitted, " get a RF that hit .250 with an OBP of .320 in Minnesota but has 20 HRs in him...defense is optional, like in the days of the MIGHTY Sosa..."Jacque Jones  

The coverup devised, " Hide the fact Prior isn't healthy AGAIN. Call it stomach flu or some unknown ailment that only a neurosurgeon can solve..."Mark Prior

The pity party revamped, "Wood is a grinder...Just has those darn mechanical issues...But he'll be back for 13 million."Kerry Wood

The joke sustained, "These Cubs fans must be so gullable to believe we'd actually spend large,hard-earn profits from a MEDIA giant on their lousy pursuit of a World Series..."

That is what it is to be a FAT CAT MEDIA CONGLOMERATE.Q1 2006 Quarterly Report