Having dealt with Teens and Drugs in the past 20 years, I must admit
sometimes it feels like fighting a losing battle. But then I have to think
about the Teen who did listen early on about the dangers of drugs,
and seldom past the stage of trying it out.
Of course then you have the Teen that "Knows It All" and unless
you are educated about drugs, the short and long term effects,
what they look like, where they come from, the laws and all,
a Teen will try to convince you of the opposite.
Believe me, when I say this can be a very frustrating situation.
I will clarify that I am a foster parent for over a quarter of
a century and probably still have not seen everything drugs can do to
a young life. But like many people I had many nights without sleep,
sitting in Police Stations wondering if I go home alone - or with the Teen.
Spending time sitting in Court Rooms waiting for the Judge to decide
if the Teen should go home or be incarcerated.
Sitting in waiting rooms of Drug Counsellors hoping the Teen pays
attention and trys to get help.
Talking, talking and more talking to Teens about the dangers of drugs.
Teen begging for money, because they got themselfs in over their head.
Teens stealing from me and others to buy more Drugs.
Teen having temper-tantrums, destroying everything in their way like
Walls, Windows, Furniture. Not to mention the emotional stress it
puts everyone in the house under. And it does not end there, it is
very hard to keep a Teen in School,with poor attendance, lack of interest
rude treatment of Teachers, fist - fights and general misbehaviour
calls for many parent - teacher - principal meetings. You have to
fight for the Teen to stay in School, even if he does not want to,
you have to try to open their eyes before it is to late and they are
expelled from School for good.
Many nights you wonder where they are, because curfews get ignored.
Every time you hear a car slow down in front of your house, you wonder
if it is the police, coming to tell you that they went for a joyride
in a stolen car and had an accident. Or maybe that they overdosed
on a mixture of Drugs and Liquor.
Then when they finally make it home, you can`t talk to them because
they scream and yell at you , that you do not love them, not trust them,
not understand them. So you don`t talk to them right away, but next day
and if you think it is much easier, forget it. They are coming down
from the high...and you make them feel bad. How dare you!
This is when I tell Teens, I love you but I do not like you when
you are like that. And I tell them that I did not take care of them
to lose them to Drugs, that I do not want to stand over a grave and
say...I wish I had done more....better....the right thing for you.
That I want all the good things in life for them, a good education,
a great job that they like, a future......
But if they go on, they will find out what birthdays and christmas`s
in Jail are like, that if it is not the Drugs or Alcohol that kills
them, maybe a fist-fight, a joyride or some other circumstance
can do it.
The most frightening aspect of it all is, they grew up with it.
In every case I have dealt with it was part of their early childhood.
Alcohol was given even to Babys, so they go to sleep. Drugs, because
they looked so cute when they are stoned.....And then I come into
their life and tell them that Drugs and Alcohol destroys futures and
familys?
If I could talk to those parents of young children, who think
nothing of it, like doing drugs with their young ones in the same
room. Smoking marijuana, and expect their children not to get affected
by it. Shooting up and go into a stupor, when your child is really
unsupervised. Getting drunk and passing out with open Liquor-bottles
within their childrens reach. What happens when parents show withdrawl
and their child needs attention or might be crying? Who is there to
hold the child, hug them, tell them everything is going to be okay?
The parent with the temper, because they are out of Drugs or Liquor.
Now instead of safety and security the child gets beaten, abandoned,
mistreated, neglected and terrified by the people who are supposed
to love them unconditionally. The money that is supposed to feed them,
cloth them and give them shelter is squandered on Liquor and Drugs.
But the children do not mind that, because when Mommy and Daddy are
high, they love you.........because they are happy!
And now we have a little child, that associates happiness and
love, with Liquor and Drugs.
And them I come and tell them, they are wrong?
If I could just tell every parent who uses Drugs and
Alcohol, that it does not solve their problems, but create so many
new ones for their children and eventually for them. That they
will lose their children not only to Social Services, but that they
will lose their childrens respect and maybe even their love. That if
they lose the children to Social Services, those Kids will get a
chance to break the circle. To grow up and become good parents
to their children, become parents like they would have liked to have
had.
Because if Social Services does not get them,
the street will......
You can`t attack their familys, can not come right out and tell
them it is stupid and wrong. You have to make the Kids see it, find
a way for them to draw their own conclusion. And when they finally
reach that point, you have to be even more careful not to judge,
put the family down. But you have listen to them, feel with and for
them and support them in their decision to quit!
Quit, one day at the time. Because they will fall of the wagon
and need you to have the strength to get back on.
I have searched for help everywhere, asked many questions, reached
out to many support groups, sat in meetings with addicts to see and
understand where they come from, and what it takes to quit.
If you need help the "ONDCP Project Know - Know it all" is a
great place to begin.
My Name Is Cocaine
By Larry Jackson
My name is Cocaine - call me coke for short.
I entered this country without a passport.
Ever since then I`ve made lots of scum rich.
Some have been murdered and found in a ditch.
I`m more valued than diamonds, more treasured than gold.
Use me just once and you too will be sold.
I`ll make a schoolboy forget his books.
I`ll make a beauty queen forget her looks.
I`ll take a renowned speaker and make him a bore.
I`ll take a mother and make her a whore.
I`ll make a teacher forget how to teach.
I`ll make a preacher forget how to preach.
I`ll take your rent money and you`ll be evicted.
I`ll murder your babies, or they`ll be addicted.
I`ll make you rob, and steal, and kill.
When you`re under my power , you will have no will.
Remember, my friend, my name is "Big C".
If you try me one time, you may never be free.
I`ve destroyed many actors, politicians and heroes.
I decreased bank accounts from millions to zero.
I`ll make shootings and stabbings a common affair.
Once I take charge, you won`t have a prayer.
Now that you know me, what will you do?
You`ll have to decide - it`s all up to you.
Listen to me, and please listen well,
When you ride with cocaine, you`re
headed for HELL.
By writing this poem, a father saved his daughter
from the HELL of Cocaine.
Go to "Project Know It All"