Violence, the FACTS!
--Emotional abuse includes name calling like "fat", "ugly", "stupid". Being accused of "sleeping around" or threats like "I'll kill myself if you dump me."
--Sexual assault can happen to males and females.
--Victims of abuse try to change themselves hoping to make things better. Abusers are the ones who have to change and only the abuser can do the changing.
--Exessive jealousy in a relationship often leads to manipulative and abusive behavior.
--Unwanted sexual activity is abusive.
--You have the right to change your mind about anything including the right to "NOT" have intercourse even if you did have intercourse before.
--Children under 12 are never considered able to consent to sexual activity.
--One in every 2 females and one in every 3 males have been victim of one or more unwanted sexual acts. Of these unwanted acts, 4 out of 5 were first commited against children and youths.
--Children who witness mothers being abused are profoundly affected both emotionally and psychologically. They are more likely to be abused themselves later.
--Children experience feelings of guilt and a sense of responsibility for their mothers suffering. Did they cause father to get angry?
--Children from violent homes often become socially isolated and have poor relationships with peers.
--In violent homes, many children internalize their experiences and are depressed, withdrawn, or passive. They may have feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness.
--Some children from violent homes often experience school difficulties like poor marks,difficulty concentrating, conflict with other students.
--Children are not all affected the same way when there is violence in the family.
--Dating violence is more severe toward women but can happen to men.
--In a survey,it was found that 75% of men and 55% of women involved in incidents of date rape had been drinking or had been on drugs.
--Surveys show male victims of date abuse are hesitant to report sexual assault as they fear being ridiculed and perceived homosexual.
--Pressure to date leaves teens believing that an abusive partner is better than not having a partner at all.
--Rape is a crime of violence motivated by a desire to control and dominate NOT sexual interest.
--Coercion and verbal abuse are unacceptable forms of interaction in any relationship.
--Child sexual abuse victims are at greater risk of offending than non-victims.But most victims do not go on to abuse other children.
--A Nova Scotian Task Force on Family and Childrens Services found that 70% of the children on child welfare caseloads had or were suffering from neglect.
--Child abusing parents frequently have unrealistic expectations about their children's, including their infant's, developmental ability. They often demand a level of physical, social and emotional maturity which is inappropriate given the age of their children.
--Woman are abused approximatly 35 times before they contact police.
--Alcohol is not the cause of abuse but it adds to the abuse.
--Teachers, coaches and other adults are required to report cases of suspected child abuse.
-- After an adolecent becomes 16 years old, they have a choice whether a report of abuse is reported to police.
-- If you have been abused, you may tell an adult you trust or go to one of the following help sources: child welfare, police, social service agency, hospital, mental health centre or any other local helpline.
Foster homes should all have a "Hassle Log"!
Especially if you have many children or teens in your house.
Example: Date:..........Morning.......Afternoon.....Evening........
Where were you?
Classroom.........Cafeteria........Gym.......Music/Art/Library......
Bathrooom......Living Room.....Dining Room.......Outside/Home......
Bedroom......other.....Outside/School.......School......
What happened?
.....Somebody teased me
.....Somebody took something of mine
.....Somebody told me to do something
.....Somebody was doing something I did not like
.....I did something wrong and was punished.
.....Somebody started fighting with me
.....Other(describe)
Who was that somebody?
Another child.....Another Adult.....Parent.....
Brother/sister.....Teacher.....
What did you do?
Hit back.....
Run away.....
Yelled.....
Cried.....
Broke something.....
Was restrained/held.....
Told parent/teacher.....
Walked away calmly.....
Talked it out.....
Told another child.....
Ignored.....
Anger controll(describe).....
What happened
to you........................................................
to the other person?...........................................
How did you handle youself?
Poorly.....1
Not so well.....2
Okay.....3
Good.....4
Great.....5
How angry where you?
Burning.....1
Really angry.....2
Moderately angry.....3
Mildly angry but still okay.....4
Not angry at all.....5
What can you do next time?..........................................
Management of conflict!
1. Negotiation: talking over the positions and feelings, by both parties, discussing what can be done.
2. Cooperation: working together in a united effort to accomplish the task.
3. Compromise: both parties give up something to resolve the problem.
4. Conciliation: reaching out with friendly words and acts in order to smooth feelings and pacify jealousy, suspicion, and hostility.
5. Arbitration and Mediation: a mediator or arbitrator who acts as go-between and helps resolve the problem.
6. Avoidance and Postponement: wait for a better time or place to handle the conflict. Maybe when everyone is more calm.
7. Truce or Standoff: settlement in which both parties realize that the struggle will be to costly and both back off.
8. Gentle Confrontation: a case in which someone who caused the problem is invited to talk about the realities of the problems.
9. Education for a casual Approach: somebody with skills in problem solving, fairly and with sensitivity.
Count your blessings instead of your crosses,
Count your gains instead of your loses,
Count your joys instead of your woes,
Count your friends instead of your foes,
Count your courage instead of your fears,
Count your laughs instead of your tears,
Count your full years instead of your lean,
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean,
Count your health instead of your wealth,
Count on God instead of yourself.
Anonymous.