Danger-Seekers.com Review




BEHIND THE MUSIC WITH THE VAMPIRE  
by pat

I would like to open by reminding everyone that when Tom Cruise was chosen years ago to be the face of the vampire Lestat, Anne Rice spent a large amount of money taking out a full page ad protesting the decision. I believe it was in "Grit," at that magazine's peak of popularity. She was so adamant about the betrayal of her vision that she was willing to bash the film version, for which she was paid well, she seemed willing to sabotage its success. This makes me question her awareness of the making of "The Queen of the Darned." I must note a newly placed ban on "dirty words" in DangerSeeker articles, that will likely only last until the end of this article. Rice apparently didn't protest this film at all. Maybe her vision of her work is that it should suck. All of those people who tell me how good the books are may not have gotten that. I don't know. The movie was guano.

It is a combination of two of "The Vampire Chronicles," the continuity deprived series of Goth literature by Ms. Rice. I can't fully comment on her actual writing style, having not gotten through any of the books for time reasons, and having never learned to read, but I know enough that I'm not entirely wrong in my critique. She has openly contradicted previous events in her work for convenience of story, fan reaction, or just being a little loopy, my personal favorite reason for not writing well. She also has "created a new vampire mythos for a new generation." I'm not sure who I'm quoting, but I know I've heard that said by quite a few people. This new mythos includes disregarding inconvenient elements like not showing in mirrors or on film, but adding things like not being able to cut their hair. Genius? Lazy? I'll be the judge. Lazy.There's a rich history to the legend of vampires. Would it be so hard? If you don't like what that is, write about something else. If Stone can get flack for representing questionable history, why not you? But I am off topic. This film is a combination of "The Vampire Lestat," and The Queen of the Darned." Apparently they felt "Lestat" had no clear villain, and "Queen" had no Goth rock star vamp hero appeal. Two great tastes that taste bland together!

Lestat decides he is tired of living the lonely life of a vampire, never making real friends or finding love, moving from town to town, hiding from those who want his kind eradicated from this world. Kind of like hobos, only hobos don't eat hobos. Also, vampire music has little resemblance to the loveable Boxcar Willie. This is something that also bugs Lestat, but when he decides to become a famous rock star he forgets his roots and just goes Pop/Goth/Industrial. Not good Pop/Goth/Industrial, like at Goth clubs in the early 90's, but this new Linkin Lawg crapola. He's an instant hit, because he has a good agent (insert bloodsucker joke here), and his firs concert sells out, filling a large empty desert. How one can sell out a vast desert, I have no idea, but you gotta love that faulty logic. 

In the meantime, we get some backstory that the evil Mother of All Vampires is being awoken by Lestat's music, because she really dug the way he played the violin a few years back and let him bite a statue of her. Honestly. She's famous for killing everybody, and wanting to rule the world. What good is ruling the world without servants? I never get the kill everybody ruler thing. Just seems like a waste. Ra's Al Ghul has the same problem. Wipe out the population of the world to make it peaceful. Why not just buy an island, like Brando, or the island Brando lives on? So the QoD starts a quest for Lestat, a dangerous groupie to say the least. Also on his trail is some girl who was raised by vamps and works for occult researchers who aren't getting laughed out of their college. She finds him easily, appeals to his heart, and in general gets in the way for no good reason. 

After the concert, they all go someplace they don't bother to explain (and before I get replies about some of the stuff earlier in the film, that was not exposition, that was visual foreshadowing of the final set) to resolve everything in a tidy little fashion. How they all knew to go there, or got there at all, I have no idea. Everything comes together in an effects filled anti-climax, which is quite original if you haven't seen "The Mummy" and "The Matrix." A few loose ends get laid out, not really tied up, there's something I think was an inside joke, and we fade to credits with what might have been another Lestat music video. Yay.

The acting, for the most part, could have been driven through the hearts of any of the film's vampires and done them almost as much harm as it did the audience. Stuart Townsend raises the question, "If all you can get is the poor man's Rufus Sewell, shouldn't you just close production?" Now that Vincent Perez has improved his English, he needs to learn how to emote the clever little language we've developed. The two of them seemed to be doing the bad acting version of the dozens, trying to top, or bottom out, each other's inflection, emotion, and general inability to keep the audience awake. Aaliyah was better than most, except for having awful dialogue to work with, and very poor direction. I believe the director though it would make her look Egyptian or snakelike to twist and undulate a lot, but it came off looking like a cross between Kate Pierson in the B-52's "Roam" video and Salma Hayek's dance in "From Dusk 'Till Dawn." Despite such obstacles, she was watchable. She could've gotten past this movie eventually. Having this be her last work is a just a small tragedy on top of her death, but a tragedy nonetheless.