Queen
of the Crammed
By:
Danielle Tortorici
As a die-hard Anne Rice fan and an
individual obsessed enough with her Vampire Chronicles to have memorized whole
passages from them, one would have thought I would have left my viewing of “The
Queen of the Damned” feeling extremely angry and upset. That simply wasn’t the case. That’s not to say that I was pleased with the
adaptation, because I certainly wasn’t.
Rather, what I felt was more a sense of confusion, because I really
wasn’t sure what sort of movie I had just spent and hour and half of my life
watching.
“The Queen of the Damned” is
actually an amalgamation of the second and third books in Rice’s Vampire
Chronicles series. Taking that into
consideration, one would have to be well aware of the glut of source material
being worked with. The problem here is
that the producers didn’t choose to take said glut of material and expand it
into a 2-1/2 or 3 hour movie (a la “Harry Potter” or the stellar “Lord of the
Rings”). Rather, they appear to have
taken the overabundance of story and tried to fit it within the standard
This compression of source material
understandably results in many changes from the original novels. That is completely reasonable, and in fact
most of the changes don’t come off as bad and phony as one would have
previously thought. Replacing Lestat’s
maker Magnus with his later mentor Marius actually makes sense; the switch is
pulled off in such a way that you hardly notice it’s been made. The two actors have an engaging enough repor
to allow the serious fan to not notice that much, or at least not be bothered by it.
The absence of the Legend of the Twins subplot is also logical, since
the story is so involved and complex that to include it in a movie already
overwhelmed by source material would have resulted in it making pretty much no
sense. The movie felt rushed enough as
it was, it certainly didn’t need anything else pushing it hurriedly along to
its conclusion. There are also a lot of
troublesome little changes (i.e. Lestat walking in the sun) that are so obvious
in their ridiculousness that to address them all would be pointless. Chalk that up to the
Actually, the stuff that is left out
probably isn’t the movie’s biggest problem.
A lot of the times it’s the stuff that’s left in, and the reasoning
behind leaving such things in an over-crowded narrative. Take the presence of the Ancient Vampires,
for example. Between the whole of them,
they probably share about 2 whole lines of dialog. They really don’t figure much in the action
of the story, and one definitely gets a sense that if they hadn’t been present
at the film’s “big finale”, not much would have changed. That makes you wonder why they’re even
there. They go unnamed, pretty much
unspoken, so it’s difficult to know and even care why they’re there and what
happens to them. Maharet is the only one
who plays an integral part in the resolution of their undead problems, and
frankly she would have done just as well without the pasty entourage. This is not to say that the actors portraying
these extraneous vamps did a poor job…it’s just that they had nothing to
do. You either feel
like you’ve wasted time looking at them, or you’re left really wondering just
who they are--a desire that goes entirely unfulfilled, since most of them are
ash before you know it.
This brings me to the Brat Prince
himself, Lestat, the central and most important figure
in the movie. Stuart Townsend actually
does an admirable job of capturing Lestat’s snarky, selfish charm. He’s a good-looking bastard and he knows
it. The French-influenced accent, while
some may have found distracting, was actually a nice touch; I felt it lent
Lestat’s character a sense of realism, and connected him more fully to his
literary counterpart. Stuart is a
talented enough actor to even make you forget the brown hair, a huge point of
contention with many of Lestat’s fans.
Enough of Lestat’s selfish “I’m a naughty boy and don’t you love it”
charm is retained to make his blond locks a minor
sacrifice. Townsend plays the rock-star
bit pretty well, and he swaggers and preens and smirks just as one would have
suspected the real Lestat to do. Looking
at him now, you get the idea that he would have been even better had he been
given a more coherent movie to act in.
As it is he’s really the only good, consistent thing about the flick. My one complaint about Lestat has nothing to
do with Stuart so much as it does the script.
We are meant to feel sorry for Lestat because he is lonely, yet should
we still sympathize with him when he cruelly kills two groupies, all the while
seeming to get off on it? I would have
no problem with showing Lestat having some fun with his meals if he was hunting
the evil-doer, such as he does in the novel, but sticking in a scene like the
one with the groupies made no sense when seconds before the audience is
supposed to be “awing” in sympathy while he’s bemoaning his lack of
interpersonal relationships.
When
considering Aaliyah as the titular character, it is difficult to judge her
potential as an actress from a movie like this.
Her Akasha is just as evil and spoiled as the Akasha of the novels, but
she seems less motivated than Rice’s creation.
We know why she wakes up from her millennia-long slumber (she’s got a
major jones for Lestat), but we are never really made aware of why she’s so
homicidal and pissed off. It’s more or
less passed off as “well, she’s a bitch.”
One of the most interesting things about Rice’s novel is that while
Akasha’s motives for mass murder were still completely psychotic and
unjustified, they are rationalized, and on some sick, debased level of
consciousness they make sense. In other
words, Akasha didn’t wake up just to find herself a new boyfriend and kill a
load of mortals; she wanted to have a genuine effect on the world. She had a purpose. Aaliyah’s Akasha is entirely one-dimensional,
and that is through no fault of her own.
She plays the supremely evil uber-bitch shtick to perfection though. Given a more dramatic, serious script to work
with, you definitely get the sense that she could have turned in a killer performance. As it is, I think she did the very best she
could with what she was given.
As for non-actor/novel issues, it’s
actually these details of the film that come off virtually without a hitch. The music, the sets, the costumes are all
well constructed and beautiful. Marius’
shrine to Those Who Must Be Kept is entirely fitting for the parents of the
vampire race. Lestat’s apartment is as
garish and stylish as any fan of the books would expect it to be. Maharet’s compound evokes every bit of the
secluded mystery of the book, and her “Great Family” tree is actually a site to
behold. The music, while at times
overpowering and way too loud, fits with the themes and settings of the movie. Given that Rice’s novel was written way back
in 1988, updating Lestat’s music makes sense, and so Jonathan Davis’ songs
aren’t nearly as bad as one would have thought.
The cute little publicity items, such as posters and magazines, devoted
to Lestat and his band are a clever touch.
Lestat’s wardrobe looks like something he actually would have worn,
given that he was a rock star in 2002 and not the late 80’s; Townsend wears his
clothes very well. The amalgamation of
all these elements (costumes, music, Stuart) in the concert scene makes that
particular part of the film one of its best, if not the best. Aaliyah’s costumes, while certainly not
befitting a 6,000 year old Egyptian Queen, are certainly eye-catching. Consider them a bit of flash and pop to
distract the audience from all that’s missing in this movie. The visual effects were so-so. Maharet’s blood tears are well-depicted. I found that the more subtle the effects
people tried to be, the better off they were.
The swooshy, blurred effect of vampire movement was completely overused
and distinctly bogus in appearance. It
looks more like something out of the Six-Million-Dollar Man/Bionic Woman camp
of effects. The vampires are pale enough
to look otherworldly, but somebody seems to have gone overboard with the
smudged eyeliner look. Must all vampires
have dark circles under their eyes? The
translucent-skin effect, replete with visible veins, used in the film version
of “Interview” was more realistic and probably would have been more well received.
After you get past all the pretty visual
things flaunted in this movie, you come to what should be the real heart of the
film—the script. Unfortunately, they
seem to have forgotten to bring one. I
realize that sounds harsh in that adapting material like this is hard because
there was so much to work with, but the people that wrote this thing didn’t
seem to try very hard. Despite all the
changes from the book, that is what really struck me about this movie—that when
you got past all the pomp and circumstance, which was engaging enough in
itself, there really wasn’t much left. I
never felt sorry for Akasha like I did in the book, I didn’t connect with
Lestat’s lonliness and longing to be known, no matter how much he complained
about the “dark void of existence”, or whatever he said. When all was said and done, I was left
feeling pretty flat and empty myself.
The
Lestat/Jesse romance, said to be a device to sort of draw the audience into the
movie on a sort of human level only winds up distancing them more. Why, exactly, is Lestat so enamored of this
girl? We can certainly understand why
she would have the hots for him, but Jesse comes off more as a cheesy vampire
wannabe as opposed to the girl that captures the 200-year old Lestat’s affections. Looking at Jesse, you get the sense that
Lestat could have fallen for any old mortal.
While this change was yet another point of contention amongst die-hard
Riceans, the whole “romance” is so flat and forgettable that it’s really
difficult to be bothered by it. There’s
not enough substance there to really make anybody care about it, book geek and
non-book geek alike.
Akasha
enters the story very late in the game, and once she gets there, it’s full speed ahead.
We are told that Akasha is the mother of all vampires, the oldest and
most powerful. She kills a hell of a lot
of people, but she’s there for so short a period of time that she really never
poses a threat. The audience is never
really made aware of the true danger she poses, outside of slaughtering a bunch
of people (something that humans themselves are entirely capable of). In Rice’s novel, there is a sense of
building, a definite sense of a point of culmination. I suppose she had more space to work with,
but still. Akasha is disposed of much
too easily in the end, and all that really serves to
do is to cheapen her menace. She was
gone that fast? Well, she mustn’t have
been that nasty after all. In fact, in
Rice’s novel the Queen is gone fairly fast as well, but it doesn’t come off
nearly as cheap and empty as it does here, because her motivation and the
vampires’ sense of dread were clearly explained. I guess you can’t slight the movie people for
that, since they are working with time limits.
You just feel like they should have given the whole film a little bit
more time.
I will not say that this movie was a
complete debacle, because it wasn’t. As
a fan of the books, I am not angered by the interpretation. The changes were a little bothersome, but
they didn’t want to make me rip my hair out.
I felt that even if the Rice fan in me couldn’t be pleased then the
vampire fan certainly would. That wasn’t
the case though, as I felt fairly disappointed on the whole. I was more confused than anything else. Were the producers deliberately being cheesy
and campy? If they were, than this movie
might actually work. If not, well, then
I’m not sure what to make of it. I am
reluctant to dismiss it entirely because I am such a fan of the books and I
have been waiting a long time for this movie.
If anything, I am surprised at the startling lack of effort that went
into anything that wasn’t surface details.
The costumes, the sets, the music were superb, but where the hell is the
story, where’s the feeling and emotion of the books? You get the sense at times that this movie is
just a bunch of pretty actors sauntering about flashy sets in cool clothes;
they’re not really doing anything though, and man, do you feel the gaping maw
left by the absence of actual feeling.
This is surprising because there really was so much source material to
work with, so you would have at least figured that even if they had to leave a
ton out, there still would have been enough left over to have an actual
movie. Rather, you’re left watching
something that doesn’t movie forward at all, it just is. It sort of just sits there looking pretty,
but not doing much; this is, in essence, a 90-minute music video, which if that
was the feel they were looking for (and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was),
then they succeeded.
If
anything, you leave this movie wondering what could have been. The actors did fine jobs, and they had the
sets and costumes down pat; the powers that be just forgot to include a decent
story. Given more time I’m sure they
could have done better, and that’s why I get the impression that this movie
would have totally rocked as a cable mini-series, and since two of Rice’s
novels have been or are about to become cable mini-series (The Feast of All
Saints and The Witching Hour), I don’t see why that wasn’t an option. They probably would have ended up with a much
better movie if they had traveled that route.
I won’t warn die-hard Vampire
Chronicles fans to stay away from this movie, because there are some things to
appreciate, not least of which is Stuart Townsend’s Lestat. He does a pretty damn good job of capturing
the essence of the Brat Prince, and it’s a lot of fun to watch him taunting the
mortals around him, and just strutting around being his haughty too-cool
self. The concert scene (cheesy Matrix-fight
aside) comes off just as well or if not better as it did in the book. That, really, is the crowning achievement of
the movie, in addition to Stuart’s turn as Lestat. I will give the die-hard book fans some advice
though—see it with an open mind. Don’t
go into this thing expecting to see your book on screen, because you won’t get
it. If you want an hour and half of
mindless vampire fun, then go for it, but I strongly urge you to separate book
and movie in your mind before you plunk down your 9 bucks. Even if you come out of it hating it as much
as you’ve ever hated anything, you will at least be blown away by one thing—how
positively and truly amazing Rice’s Vampire Chronicles are, and how because of
that we’ll probably never be truly happy with what we see on screen.