HUMOR Digest - 30 Jul 1998 to 31 Jul 1998
There are 14 messages totalling 744 lines in this issue.
 
Topics of the day:
 
  1. Johnny Berbek (may be offensive to animal lovers)
  2. Women, God Luv 'em
  3. The New Airport (Pun)
  4. Lock "Em Up! (off. to blonde Americans)
  5. Someone's Laws
  6. He thinks-she thinks
  7. Kitchen Signs <clean>
  8. One Man's Opinion <language>
  9. (Fwd) I just wanted to impress you <mild chauvinism>
 10. Humor:  Memos <not offensive>
 11. Humor: More MS Thesaurus-mature
 12. The "Marketing" of Higher Education in the Ninties
 13. Punctuation
 14. Wolff Kissinger <pun>
 
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Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 03:02:49 EDT
From:    Renee' Medlin <NEEMED@AOL.COM>
Subject: Johnny Berbek (may be offensive to animal lovers)
 
MAKE SURE YA GET A LITTLE TUNE GOIN' HERE!!! THIS IS A LITTLE
SONG!!!
 
Oh... Johnny Berbek Oh Johnny Berbek How could you be so mean??
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine!!
All the neighbors cats and dogs will no longer be seen -
they'll all be ground to sausages in Johnny Berbek's machine!
 
Then One night the darn thing wouldn't go... so, Johnny Berbek he
crawled inside to see what made it so... his wife had a nightmare
and was walking in her sleep  She turned the crank - A YANKETY YANK
and Johnny came out in meat BALLS!!!!!
 
------------------------------
 
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 03:01:18 -0400
From:    Jim Moore Jr <jimjr@QIS.NET>
Subject: Women, God Luv 'em
 
* "Marsha, I've been invited to go to Monaco for the Grand Prix."
  "Claire !!!  That's NOT the way it's pronounced !!!"
                           - - - - -
 
* Mrs JimJr summed up my retirement fairly simply: "Twice the
  spouse and 2/3's the income."
                           - - - - -
 
*   The young husband was tired of his wife's inability to make a
  decision about anything.  "All you ever do is procrastinate."
    She replied, "Oh yeah ???  Just you wait and see."
                           - - - - -
 
* Donna, a receptionist at State Highway came to work one morning
  sporting a rather large diamond bauble on her finger.  "It's a
  boy !" she'd tell everyone who passed. "6 foot 2 and 195 pounds."
                           - - - - -
 
*   A woman is in a gambling casino.  At the roulette she says, "I
  have no idea what number to play."
    A man near-by suggests she play her age.  She puts her money on
  number 35.
    The wheel is spun and 43 comes up.  The woman faints.
                           - - - - -
 
*   Two little girls are looking at a book of fairy tales.  "Who's
  that on the cover ?" asks the younger of the two.
    "That's Cinderella." replied her friend. "It's a nice story
  with a happy ending."
    "But why is she crying ?" the first asked. "She doesn't look
  so happy to me."
    "Because her wicked step-Mother won't let her go to the mall."
  answered the second.
 
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Indexed UGA Humor Digests [zip format] 1997-1998:
   http://www.geocities.com/BourbonStreet/6293
 
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------------------------------
 
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 00:10:24 -0800
From:    Stan Kegel <kegel@FEA.NET>
Subject: The New Airport (Pun)
 
The Los Angeles Airport Commission has finally released the plans
for the expansion of Los Angeles International Airport which when
built will be able to accommodate twice the number of international
flights that now come into LAX. The plans have passed all necessary
environmental impact studies and construction appears to depend on
obtaining adequate funding. A $1,200,000,000 Airport Bond measure
will have to be passed by Los Angeles County voters for
construction to occur.
 
The original plans were to call the enlarged airport "Charlton
Heston International Airport" because of the high caliber of the
famed resident, and his close relationship to John Wayne whose name
is attached to the airport 50 miles to the south. However, many Los
Angeles residents oppose this name because they feel it might be an
open invitation to bring firearms to the new airport.
 
The Los Angeles TIMES, a supporter of the new airport expansion has
been conducting a poll of its readers for an appropriate name for
the new facility. By far, the most popular name of all those
suggested, leading by a three to one margin at present, has been to
call the new airport... EX-LAX.
 
------------------------------
 
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 07:12:55 -0400
From:    Terry Galan <galante@MCMAIL.CIS.MCMASTER.CA>
Subject: Lock "Em Up! (off. to blonde Americans)
 
Three tourist were traveling in South America, an Irishman, a
Frenchman and a blonde American.  They all found themselves in a
bar in a small latin American country, ruled by a strict dictator.
As luck would have it, they got into an argument and a bar fight
soon started. The local military police arrived and arrested them.
 
At their trial before a tribunal, they learned their luck was even
worse. The bar was owned by the brother of the dictator. The three
of them were promptly sentenced to five years in solitary
confinement. Before they were taken away to  prison, the judge said
"you are foreigners to our country. I will grant  you each one
wish. You may choose one item to help you pass the time. What do
you wish for?"
 
The Irishman asked for a five years supply of fine Irish whiskey.
The judge grants him is wish. The Frenchman asked for a five year
supply of fine french wine. Again the judge grants his request. He
grants the blonde American's request for a five years supply of
cigarettes as well.
 
The three were lead off to prison and thrown into individual cells
down in the dark, damp basement of the prison.
 
Five years later they were let out one by one. First the Irishman
was released. He staggered out, drunk, barely able to stand, and
quickly stumbled out of the prison without saying a word. The
Frenchman was released next. He swaggered out, rather drunk himself
and walked out into freedom. The blonde American was released last.
He stepped out into freedom and said "Does anyone have a %&$*&@#
match??!!"
 
------------------------------
 
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 06:58:05 -0500
From:    Les Pourciau at UMem <POURCIAU@LATTE.MEMPHIS.EDU>
Subject: Someone's Laws
 
* To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take
  the longest and cost the most.
 
* After all is said and done, a lot more is said than done.
 
* Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is
  obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts
  which are still under development.
 
* A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved
  from a simple system that works. If mathematically you end up
  with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.
 
------------------------------
 
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 08:13:04 EDT
From:    Sue Sevin <SueS7@AOL.COM>
Subject: He thinks-she thinks
 
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.
 
He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good
time.
 
A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy
themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a
while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
 
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs
to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do
you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for
exactly six months?''
 
And then there is silence in the car.  To Elaine, it seems like a
very loud silence.  She thinks to herself: Gee, I wonder if it
bothers him that I said that.  Maybe he's been feeling confined by
our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some
kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
 
And Roger is thinking: Gosh.  Six months.
 
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind
of relationship, either.  Sometimes I wish I had a little more
space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to
keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward...  I mean, where
are we going?  Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this
level of intimacy?  Are we heading toward marriage?  Toward
children?  Toward a lifetime together?  Am I ready for that level
of commitment?  Do I really even know this person?
 
And Roger is thinking... so that means it was... let's see...
February when we started going out, which was right after I had the
car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the odometer...
Whoa!  I am way overdue for an oil change here.
 
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset.  I can see it on his face.
Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong.  Maybe he wants more from
our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has
sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some
reservations.  Yes, I bet that's it.  That's why he's so reluctant
to say anything about his own feelings.  He's afraid of being
rejected.
 
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the
transmission again.  I don't care what those morons say, it's
still not shifting right.  And they better not try to blame it on
the cold weather this time.  What cold weather?  It's 87 degrees
out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid
those incompetent thieves $600.
 
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry.  And I don't blame him.  I'd
be angry, too.  I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I
can't help the way I feel.  I'm just not sure.
 
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day
warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the rats.
 
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for
a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting
right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with,
a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care
about me.  A person who is in pain because of my self-centered,
schoolgirl romantic fantasy.
 
And Roger is thinking: Warranty?  They want a warranty?  I'll give
them a warranty.  I'll take their warranty and stick it right up
their...
 
''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.  ''What?'' says Roger, startled.
 
''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes
beginning to brim with tears.  ''Maybe I should never have... I
feel so..."  (She breaks down, sobbing.)
 
''What?'' says Roger.
 
''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs.  'I mean, I know there's no
knight. I really know that.  It's silly.  There's no knight, and
there's no horse.''
 
''There's no horse?'' says Roger.
 
''You think I'm a fool, don't you?''  Elaine says.
 
''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
 
''It's just that... It's that I... I need some time,'' Elaine says.
 
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he
can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up
with one that he thinks might work.)
 
''Yes,'' he says.
 
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
 
''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.
 
''What way?'' says Roger.
 
''That way about time,'' says Elaine.
 
''Oh,'' says Roger.  ''Yes.''
 
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing
him to become very nervous about what she might say next,
especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
 
''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.
 
''Thank you,'' says Roger.
 
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted,
tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back
to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and
immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match
between two Czechs he never heard of.  A tiny voice in the far
recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on
back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he
would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he
doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding
world hunger.)
 
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of
them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight
hours.
 
In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and
everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring
every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning,
considering every possible ramification. They will continue to
discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never
reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it,
either.
 
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual
friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown,
and say: ''Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?''
 
------------------------------
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 15:47:16 +0200
From:    Maurizio Mariotti <mariotti@IAFRICA.COM>
Subject: Kitchen Signs <clean>
 
A Messy Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen And This Kitchen Is Delirious
 
No Husband Has Ever Been Shot While Doing The Dishes
 
A Husband Is Someone Who Takes Out The Trash And Gives The
Impression He Just Cleaned The Whole House
 
If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
 
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
 
Housework Done Properly Can Kill You
 
My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines
 
 
          -From CircleJoke
 
------------------------------
 
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 10:50:07 -0400
From:    "Harter, Douglas" <Harter.Douglas@DEP.STATE.PA.US>
Subject: One Man's Opinion <language>
 
COPIED FROM A NEWSGROUP POSTING  - (the author is responding to a
woman who accidentally walked into the men's restroom):
 
Please don't feel bad. It wasn't you entering the men's washroom
that caused that guy to pee on the guy next to him. Hell, we do
that all the time. It's rare us guys ever hit what were aiming for.
 
Sometimes I go into the washroom, start to pee, and then just start
spinning around; just so I'll make sure I hit something.
 
You see, something you ladies should understand by now is that
men's penises have a mind of their own. A guy can go into a
bathroom stall because all the urinals are being used, take perfect
aim at the toilet, and his penis will still manage to piss all over
the roll of toilet paper, down his left pant leg, and onto his
shoe. I'm telling 'ya those little buggers can't be trusted.
 
After being married 28 years my wife has me trained. I'm no longer
allowed to pee like a man - standing up. I am required to sit down
and pee. She has convinced me that this is a small price to pay.
Otherwise if she had gone to the toilet one more time at night and
either sat on a pee soaked toilet seat, or fell right into the
toilet because I forgot to put the seat down, she was going to kill
me in my sleep.
 
Now another thing us guys don't usually like to talk about, but
because you and I have become such good friends and you think I'm a
classy guy, I might as well be candid with you because it's a real
problem, and you ladies need to be understanding. It's the dreaded
"morning wood".
 
Most mornings us guys wake up with two things. A tremendous desire
to pee, and a penis so hard you could cut diamonds with it. Well,
no matter how hard you try, you can't get that thing to bend, and
if it won't bend you can't aim, well hell, if you can't aim you
have no choice but to piss all over the wall paper and that damn
fuzzy toilet seat cover you women insist on putting on the toilet.
 
And by the way, when you use those damn fuzzy toilet seat covers,
the friggin' toilet seat won't stay up by itself. So that means we
have to use one hand to hold up the toilet seat and the other hand
to try to control our less than perfect aim.
 
Now sometimes, when you're newly married, (and I know the guys in
here will back me up on this) you think you can get the toilet seat
with that damn fuzzy thing to stay up.  You jam it back and
compress that fuzzy thing until the seat stays there. OK, so you
start to pee, but then that compressed fuzzy starts to decompress
and without warning that damn toilet seat comes flying down and
tries to whack off your weenie. So us guys will not lift a toilet
seat with a fuzzy, it's just not safe.
 
I tried to delicately explain this morning situation to my wife. I
told her... look, it won't bend. She said, "so sit down like I told
you to do all the rest of the time." OK. I tried sitting down on
the toilet with "morning wood". Well it's is very hard to get it
bent under the toilet seat, and before I could manage it, I had
pissed all over the bath towels hanging on the wall across the
room.
 
Now, even if you are sitting down and you can get it forced down
under the toilet seat, when you start to pee the pee shoots out
from the crack between the bottom of the toilet seat and the top of
the bowl. You piss all over the back of your knees and it runs down
the back of our legs on to that damn matching fuzzy horseshoe rug
you keep putting on the floor in front of the toilet.
 
I have found the only effective maneuver to deal with this morning
urinary dilemma is to assume the flying Superman position laying
over the toilet seat. This takes a great deal of practice, perfect
balance, and split time precision but it's the only sure way to get
all the pee in the bowl during the first morning pee.
 
So you ladies have to understand that us men are not totally to
blame. We are sensitive to your concerns about hygiene and bathroom
cleanliness, but there are times when things just get beyond our
control.  It's not our fault, it's just Mother Nature.
 
Now, if it was Father Nature, there wouldn't have been a problem!!!
 
------------------------------
 
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 10:08:53 PDT
From:    Mark Huth <mhuth@RODGERS.RAIN.COM>
Subject: (Fwd) I just wanted to impress you <mild chauvinism>
 
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking
up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind
direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts.
 
Finally his exasperated partner  says,  "What's taking so long? Hit
the blasted ball!"
 
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the
clubhouse. I  want to make this a perfect shot."
 
"Forget it, man-you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of
hitting her from here!"
 
------------------------------
 
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 12:57:59 -0500
From:    "Rowe, Thomas" <trowe@UWSP.EDU>
Subject: Humor:  Memos <not offensive>
 
A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert quotes" contest.  They were
looking for people to submit quotes from their real life
Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the submissions...
 
 1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the
    building using individual security cards.  Pictures will be
    taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in
    two weeks.
    (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Crop
     in Redmond, WA.)
 
 2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will
    encounter.
    (Lykes Lines Shipping)
 
 3. E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It
    should be used only for company business.
    (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
 
 4. This project is so important, we can't let things that are more
    important interfere with it.
    (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
 
 5. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.  No
    one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been
    working on it for months.  Now, go act busy for a few weeks and
    I'll let you know  when it's time to tell them.
    (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
 
 6. My Boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal
    that only needed corrections.  She claims the disk I gave her
    was damaged and she couldn't edit it.  The disk I gave her was
    write-protected.
    (CIO of Dell Computers)
 
 7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what
    'I' say."
    (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
 
 8. "How About Friday?"  My sister passed away and her funeral was
    scheduled for Monday.  When I told my Boss, he said she died so
    that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year.
    He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday.  He
    said, "That would be better for  me."
    (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)
 
 9. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is
    not going to discuss it with the employees."
    (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
 
10. We recently received a memo from senior management saying:
    "This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today
    regarding the subject mentioned above."
    (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)
 
11. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him
    concerning a project I was working on.  I asked him if tomorrow
    would be soon enough. He said "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would
    have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!"
    (New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards.)
 
12. Speaking the Same Language:  As director of communications, I
    was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's training
    programs and materials.  In the body of the memo one of the
    sentences mentioned the "pedagogical approach" used by one of
    the training manuals.  The day after I routed the memo to the
    executive committee, I was called into the HR director's
    office, and told that the executive vice president wanted me
    out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told
    that she wouldn't stand for "perverts" (pedophilia?) working in
    her company.
    Finally he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that
    I be fired -- and the word "pedagogical" circled in red. The HR
    manager was fairly reasonable, once he looked the word up in
    his dictionary, and made a copy of the definition to send back
    to her, he told me not to worry.  He would take care of it.
    Two days later a memo to the entire staff came out directing us
    that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday
    newspaper could be used in company memos.
    A month later, I resigned.  In accordance with company policy,
    I created my resignation memo by pasting words together from
    the Sunday paper.
    (Taco Bell Corporation)
 
13. This gem is the closing paragraph of a nationally-circulated
    memo from a large communications company: "(Company name) is
    endeavorily determined to promote constant attention on current
    procedures of transacting business focusing emphasis on
    innovative ways to better, if not supersede, the expectations
    of quality!"
    (Lucent Technologies)
 
          -Forwarded from Andra Hollis at Harvard
 
------------------------------
 
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 16:08:17 EST
From:    JD STONE <jstone@EMH1.LEAD.ARMY.MIL>
Subject: Humor: More MS Thesaurus-mature

Open a new document in MS Word 97 and type
 
LOVE HER AND LEAVE HER
 
Highlight the whole phrase and then 'shift F7'
(Thesaurus)
 
ans....
 
Make her pregnant
Get a woman pregnant
Impregnate
Inseminate
Knock up
Copulate
 
------------------------------
 
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 17:18:45 -0400
From:    Jim Mica <jmica@ITHACA.EDU>
Subject: The "Marketing" of Higher Education in the Ninties
 
Every institution of Higher Learning works on its public image.
You want parents to know that there thousands of dollars will be
spent on a solid education, but you want the kids to know that you
have a lively and fun place.  It's a delicate balance.
 
Some years ago NYU suffered a bad blow to its image in a Woody
Allen film.  The movie was "Everything You Always Wanted to Know
About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask."  I'm sure you'll recall the
scene.
 
Allen was a young rake putting the moves on a college-age woman. We
viewers were "inside" his head during this encounter.  What we saw
was a NASA-style control room full of those nerdy guys in white
shirts, wearing earphones and seated at computer terminals.  They
were controlling his actions and monitoring hers.
 
When she said that she went to NYU a cheer went up in the control
room and the leader of the group observed, "We're gonna score
tonight!"  That was a cinematic moment impressed upon a generation
of horny teenage males. Whatever else we knew about NYU and it was
precious little in most cases-- we knew you could score there.
 
     (Flash Forward to the 90s)
 
According to an article in last week's Chronicle of Higher
Education (that's THE trade mag of the H Ed BIZ) NYU has new
problems.  It seems somebody has set up a World-Wide Web site that
has a "spy" cam in an NYU dorm room.  According to the article one
can go to the site and see  scantily clad female students 'romping'
in their dormitory room at New York University...".
 
The article goes on to say: "Images on the free part of the site
show several women wearing little more than tank tops with N.Y.U.
logos in a room decorated with an N.Y.U. pennant and sticker.
Viewers who pay a fee are promised access to 'uncensored action'."
 
NYU has filed a suit against the owners of the Web site claiming
that it is "tarnishing" the schools image and infringing on its
trademarks.
 
As research (technically it's "competitor research") I looked up
the Web site.  (I also did this for my friends on the HUMOR list
who wouldn't be caught dead at WWW.SPY7.COM.  You can, indeed, see
the NYU logos, but how anyone could claim that the site is
realistic is beyond me.
 
In the first place, this clearly isn't a dorm room.  There's not a
single junk food wrapper, fast food bag or piza box in any of the
pictures. Furthermore, the "dorm room" only contains females.
There's not a single guy sitting around with them.
 
I wonder if Woody Allen had anything to do with this...
 
------------------------------
 
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 18:39:58 EDT
From:    Neil Rigby <NRigbyking@AOL.COM>
Subject: Punctuation
 
Where would we be without punctuation? Punctuate the following to
make it sensible:
 
"that that is is that that is not is not is not that it it is"
 
Answer:  That that is, is !
         That that is not, is not !
         Is not that it ?
         It is !
 
------------------------------
 
Date:    Thu, 30 Jul 1998 18:40:47 -0400
From:    Bill Stebbins <bs16@CORNELL.EDU>
Subject: Wolff Kissinger <pun>
 
Wolff Kissinger was a spy. He was the bane of the Nazis during the
war, for although they sought him everywhere, they were never able
to lay a hand, bullet or poisoned dart on him.  The reason was that
Wolff was a master of disguise.
 
Once he was an old flower woman, calling out her posies in a
quavery voice.  Then her bouquet exploded with a deadly cloud and
Kissinger's opposite number lay still in the street.
 
Wolff and his disguises ran the gamut from Oriental merchant to
English squire to Portuguese sailer to African tribesman.  There
was no role he could not play to perfection.  His makeup was
wondrous and his flair for dialect gifted.
 
Meanwhile, back at Berlin HQ, the top brass of German Intelligence
met to see if they could set an unbeatable trap for the Allies'
most valuable undercover agent.  Despite their brilliance they had
no idea at all what guise their quarry would affect next.  What was
the point when he might just as easily be a Rommel aide or
Mussolini's second in command.
 
Sighed one of the Nazi leaders as the vexing problem was pondered,
... "I wonder who's Kissinger now?"
 
 
http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/bs16
http://members.xoom.com/bs16/
 
------------------------------
 
End of HUMOR Digest - 30 Jul 1998 to 31 Jul 1998
************************************************
 
