HUMOR Digest - 30 May 1998 to 31 May 1998
There are 4 messages totalling 121 lines in this issue.

Topics of the day:

  1. The Dream (Pun)
  2. The Military
  3. The Birds & The Bees
  4. Viagra Candy Bar

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Date:    Sat, 30 May 1998 01:15:18 -0800
From:    Stan Kegel <kegel@FEA.NET>
Subject: The Dream (Pun)

A man goes to his therapist to have a dream interpreted. He tells the
doctor that he was dreaming of eating a big meal. A seven course meal.
He started with the soup and was going to move on to the salad next.
As he finished his soup and put his spoon down the bowl refilled
itself by magic. He again finished the soup and again the bowl
refilled itself. Everytime he finished the soup and tried to move on
to the salad he could not. He asked his doctor what the hidden meaning
was. The doctor's reply, "It only proves that ... you can't change
courses in the middle of a dream."

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Date:    Sat, 30 May 1998 05:06:38 -0400
From:    Jim Moore Jr <jimjr@QIS.NET>
Subject: The Military

* I joined the Navy for three reasons:
     1) I wanted to do something to pay back this country
     2) I knew it would help me physically & morally
     3) I would probably have been drafted anyway
                                - - - - -

*   During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly solider shoots about a
  dozen of the enemy during his first battle. The Sergeant said,
  "How'd you learn to shoot like that ?  Have you ever been in
  combat before ?"
    "Well suh," drawled the boy, "To be honest, this is my first
  public war."
                                - - - - -

* One Marine was a total foul-up.  The Company Commander tried
  putting him on KP, giving him extra duty and finally restricting
  him to the Base.  Nothing worked.  Finally, in desperation, the
  Commander called the boy's Mother.
                                - - - - -

* One of the worst jobs in any military unit is being a cook. I mean
  think about it -- they have enemies on both sides of any war.
                                - - - - -

* Regardless of what you may see in the movies, not every pilot in
  the Navy is a "Top Gun".  In fact, the only medal one Naval Aviator
  I know could qualify for would be for extreme caution under cover.
                                - - - - -

* Being versed in the martial arts has some hazards.  One karate
  expert joined the Army and knocked himself out cold for four hours
  giving his first salute.
                                - - - - -

* The sentry, doing his duty, issued the standard "Halt !  Who goes
  there ?"  A voice out of the dark replied, "You wouldn't know me,
  I just got here today."

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Date:    Sat, 30 May 1998 10:31:04 -0400
From:    Bill Stebbins <bs16@CORNELL.EDU>
Subject: The Birds & The Bees

One day little Johnny came up to his father and asked, "Dad, where did
I come from?"

Dad squirmed a bit, but thought it was time his son knew the facts of life.
So, Dad told his son how the expression of love resulted in the beginning
of life, how life developed and finally how a child was born. As Dad told
the story, his son's eyes got wider and wider.

When Dad was finished, his son said, "Wow, that's really neat. That sure
beats what Billy told me. He said that he came from Philadelphia."


http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/bs16
http://members.xoom.com/bs16/

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Date:    Sat, 30 May 1998 12:44:18 -0400
From:    Don Chesnel <dches@CONCENTRIC.NET>
Subject: Viagra Candy Bar

New Viagra candy bar just put in major grocery chains across the country:

Oh, Oh, Oh my God, Henry!

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End of HUMOR Digest - 30 May 1998 to 31 May 1998
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