HUMOR Digest - 25 Feb 1998 to 26 Feb 1998
There are 2 messages totalling 81 lines in this issue.

Topics of the day:

  1. Bad Luck <some adult humor>
  2. Joke-Clean: business is business

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Date:    Thu, 26 Feb 1998 01:22:43 -0500
From:    Jim Moore Jr <jimjr@QIS.NET>
Subject: Bad Luck <some adult humor>

* One of my neighbors claims to be the unluckiest guy on the
  planet.  His wife gave him a really expensive watch for his
  birthday.  It was shatterproof, breakproof, shockproof and
  waterproof.  He lost it.
                                - - - - -

* At first I thought this neighbor of mine was just paranoid
  about his bad luck until last summer.  His swimming pool
  burned down.
                                - - - - -

* This gets worse too.  Last week, his inflatable doll ran off
  with his airbag.
                                - - - - -

* He says that when he goes to Ocean City here in Maryland and
  puts a seashell to his ear, all he gets is a busy signal.
                                - - - - -

* Finally, if you don't believe him to be the unluckiest guy
  around, his wife divorced him on grounds of sterility.  Then
  this chick said he got her pregnant.  She filed a paternity
  suit.  He lost both cases.
                                - - - - -

* Some people say with their luck, when their ship finally did
  come in, it'd be in the midst of a dock strike.
                                - - - - -

*   I broke a mirror last year, and according to superstition
  that should mean 7 years bad luck.
    I have a lawyer though who's so good, he got me off with
  only three years.


www.qis.net/~jimjr  ("QIS.NET")
www.geocities.com/BourbonStreet/6293

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Date:    Thu, 26 Feb 1998 10:48:00 PST
From:    "RAO NIKHIL K. /ILF/WRO" <NIKHIL@ICICIBZO.ICICI.ERNET.IN>
Subject: Joke-Clean: business is business

A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small
town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her
position to try to influence the new student. She asks the
class, "Who was the greatest man that ever lived?"

A girl raises her hand and says, "I think George Washington
was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Father
of our country." The teacher replies, "Well...that's a good
answer, but that's not the answer I am looking for."

Another young student raises his hand and says, "I think
Abraham Lincoln was the greatest man that lived because he
freed the slaves and helped end the civil war." ... "Well, that's
another good answer, but that is not the one I was looking for."

Then the new Jewish boy raises his hand and says, "I think
Jesus Christ was the greatest man that ever lived." The
teacher's mouth drops open in astonishment. "Yes!" she says,
"that's the answer I was looking for." She then brings him up to
the front of the classroom and gives him a lollipop.

Later, during recess, another Jewish boy approaches him as he
is licking his lollipop. He says, "Why did you say, 'Jesus Christ'?"
The boy stops licking his lollipop and replies, "I know it's
Moses, and YOU know it's Moses, but business is business."

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End of HUMOR Digest - 25 Feb 1998 to 26 Feb 1998
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