HUMOR Digest - 22 Feb 1999 to 23 Feb 1999

Date: Mon, 22 Feb 1999 03:57:20 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Adulterated Adages (1 of 2)

Adulterated Adage - A wise saying you rewrite to suit your purpose, to create a new one.

* Frailty, thy name is woman
   and frivolity, captivation, polemical, intriguing...

* Let a smile be your umbrella on a rainy, rainy day...
   and you'll get a stiff neck fer shure, and may even drown

* Something is rotten in the State of Denmark --
   the White House ain't smelling too good these days either

* Beware the fury of a patient man...
   and of course, the fury of any woman

* Marry in haste and repent at leisure...
   for that matter, marry at all and repent forever

* It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game...
   of course, if you cheat, you'll rack-up a lot more points

* Life's a stage where every man must play a part...
   OK, who do I see about getting a leading role

* In the Spring, a young man's fancy turns to love...
   in all other seasons, it's just plain old lust

* To thine own self be true...
   and lie like hell to everyone else

* Be thou chaste as ice and pure as snow...
   and surely all men shall call you frigid

* The wages of sin is death...
   of course, the wages of purity is also death

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