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"When I was in medical school, from 1963 to 1966, there wasn't much talk about
abortion. It was illegal, and doctors who practiced it were ostracized. I never
had a face-to-face encounter with abortion until my residency, in 1968.
"What really nudged me alongs, however, was the 6 months I spent in 1969 at Cook
County Hospital in Chicago's inner city. For 6 of those weeks I worked in the "
Infected OB Ward", where most of the patients suffered complications from back-alley
abortion mills. They were infected, bleeding, and sometimes very ill.
"After struggling to restore the health of 15-20 women each night for 6 weeks, I
strongly wanted abortion legalized. As a physician, a concerned woman and a caring
human being I could not tolerate the suffering I saw.
"In 1973, the US Supreme Court ruling in Row VS Wade agreed with me. Abortion on
demand became legal at any time during pregnancy. 2 years later, I helped open
the first and only abortion clinic in Mississippi. I figured if women with
unwanted pregnancie were so desparate they would risk their health by going to
some back alley "quack", it was time for the medical profession to take
responsibility and offer "safe" abortions. Also, if this nation was going to be
sensitive to women's rights, many of which were legitmate and had previously
been denied, it was time for legal abortions to because easily available.
"I wanted to be the world's best abortionist, for the good of my patients. If I
was going to do this, I was going to do it right. So, after I met each patient,
reviewed the medical information gathered by my nurse, examined the patient and
performed the abortion, I would then carefully sift through the remains to be
sure all parts were accounted for. I had to find 2 arms 2 legs, a spine, a skull,
and the placenta, or my patient would suffer later from an incomplete abortion.
"Sometimes people ask me, 'how could you look at body parts and believe you hadn't
killed a human being?'
"I try to explain the emotional detachment is built into a physician's training.
This begins the very first day of our training, when we start to learn anatomy
by dissecting a cadaver. By graduation, we've seen so much death, blood and gore
it hardly bothers us at all.
"My experience with abortion was similar. It bothered me at first, but with time
I became desensitized to what was really happening. My attention was so focused
on my perceived patient that I managed to deny that there were, in fact, 2 patients
involved...the woman and a very small child.
"It wasn't long before 3 things began to trouble me. First of all, some of my
abortion clinic patients became part of my other private practice. Some were now
married and pregnant with wanted babies. Others were simply coming back to me
for other medical needs or periodic examinations.
"Some of these women were now regretting their abortions and experiencing great
grief. Others who did not regret their abortions would not discuss them. Even
when asked the routine question by a nurse, "Have you ever been pregnant before?"
they would reply, "no"- an outright denial of what had occured.
"Second, I was becoming very hard to live with, especially on days I worked at the
abortion center. Although I didn't think what I was doing was wrong, I certainly
never enjoyed it! I don't see how anyone could. The stress was incredible, and
gradually increasing, partly because of the enormous emotional difference between
my 2 practices. Women seeking abortions were in crisis, sometimes despair, just
the opposite of my other pregnant patients, who were hopeful, happy and excited
about this wonderful thing that was happening for them.
"I had to wonder: how can having a child be so wrong for some people that they
will pay me to end it's life...when for others it is so good that they will
spare no expense to bring it into the world?
"I had gotten involved in abortion because I wanted to help. But instead, while
sucking the child our of it's mother I was also sucking out the mother's soul and
leaving an empty shell, an empty tomb.
"I began to detest what I was doing. More than that, I began to detest myself. I
even entertained thoughts of suicide.
"I never agressively promoted abortions. I saw it as a service that I, as a doctor,
should provide. But as my vision cleared, what I really saw made me increasingly
uneasy.
"Finally, I realized that abortion is not goof for women. The truth is that
abortion stops the beating heart of a live, growing human being. Abortion
destroys relationships: between mother and child; between the aborted child's
parents(90% separate after abortion); between te aborted woman and herself; and
between the aborted woman and God. I'm not saying that this is an unforgivable
sin. But I am saying that most aborted women struggle, some for many years, with
a sense of unresolved guilt.
"Once I faced all these things, I knew I had to withdraw from that abortion clinic
and focus on helping expectant mothers deliver healthy babies. Rountinely in my
private practice in Jackson, MISS. I see women who have had abortions. Many of
them carry guilt and grief knowing that have taken the life of a child. This is
a heavy load, yet one I can identify with, since I was part of that process.
"If your pregnant and considering terminating your baby's life, I beg you-reconsider.
Nothing good can come of it, only heartache and regret.
"I often address groups that offer pregnant women alternatives to abortion. Many
of these people are followers of Christ, who said to feed, to clothe, to house,
and to heal. These supports are available nationwide through crisis pregnancy
centers. Information on several of them are listed at the bottom of this page.
If you are pregnant and need help, please call or visit one of these agenices
and let them help you. Despite the prochoice rhetoric you may have heard; with
talk of compassion and responsibility, the only people who are responsibly prochoice
are those who will courageously consider alternatives that both they and their
baby can live with.
"I wish you and I could just sit down and have a heart to heart talk, because I
know you have a lot or questions racing through your mind, escpecially if you've
never been pregnant before. For instance, there are 2 questions almost every
woman asks if she is considering abortion.
"The first is usually, will it hurt? the answer is yes, abortion will hurt, unless anesthesia is used. Dilating the cervix causes cramping; emptying the uterus causes contractions. In the most common procedures, the suction dilation and curettage (D&C), a paracervical block is used to numb the cervix. General anesthesia (going to sleep) is sometimes used, but this canbe dangerous and must be administered by well-trained medical personnel using up-to-date equipment.
"The second question may be: Isn't what's removed just a glob of tissue?
"The answer should be clear enough from the illustration. To hide the truth, however,
the womb's contents are sometimes labeled "products of conception" These "Products"
include the placenta, umbilical cord, bag of water, and the body of the developing
baby. It is not just a glob of tissue, and every abortionist knows that. Yet noone
can say how the arms, legs, spine and skull of a dismembered fetus beame "products
of conception" instead of "body parts" simply because the baby was unwanted.
"Abortionists make other claims, too, and perhaps you've heard some of them, as I
have since I was once on their side. Now I can see that each claim has a more
reasonable and truthful alternative:
1) Abortion is safer than carrying a baby to term.
"Early abortions (1st 12 weeks) are usually not a threat to the woman's life, but
serious complications requiring surgery, blood transfusions or hospitalization
occur about 1 every 500 abortions. Before 20 weeks, the risks are about equal,
but after that, it's almost twice as dangerous for a woman to abort then to carry
to term.
2) A woman has a right to control her own body.
" Certainly, but we're not talking the woman's body here. Abortion is something
done tot he baby's body. The fetus is a distinct individual; otherwise, women
would never deliver male babies. Even female infants often have different blood
types from their mothers. Every cell of this child is different and distinct
from its mother, from the moment of fertilization.
3) A fetus isn't a person.
"A fetus is, first of all, a human being. In 25 years of medical practice, I've
never delivered a carrot, or a rabbit. I've always delivered babies, members of
the human species. Arguments about whether this human is a person or not are
attempts to dehumanize the baby so we don't feel badly about killing it.
4) People shouldn't force their religious views on others.
"Abortion is a civil rights/human rights issue, not a religous issue. What
distinguishes this human being from others is its place of residence. But there is no
logical reason why the womb should a "free fire zone." Biologically speaking,
there is no doubt human life begins at fertilization, when sperm and egg join
together. What happens after that, whether before birth or afterwards, is just
part of a continuum that began at that moment.
5) If abortion is legal, how can it be wrong?
"Our founding fathers said, "there is a higher law. Human beings are endowed by
their creator with certain inalienable rights." These rights no government can
legislate away. Among them are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The
abortion holocost was ushered in by a supreme court decision in Row VS Wade, but
in the last 200 years the supreme court has reversed itself over 100 times. The
justices are not infallible. Bad laws need to be changed. Bas decisions need to
be reversed.
6) Abortion has no proven long term psychological effect.
"The right study hasn't been done to prove the existence or non existence of
post abortion stress. But I personally have seen many women who are stressed out,
typically 5-10 years after their abortion. Others are immediately stricken with
grief, guilt, and remorse and they become emotional basket-cases. In my experience,
at least 90% of aborted women experience guilt and regret to a greater or lesser
degree.
7) No one should have a baby unless she's mature enough to become a parent.
"This is backwards. If a woman is not mature enough to be a parent, then she's
not mature enough to be doing what makes her a parent. But if she's pregnant then
she already a parent. The question before her is whether she'll be the parent of
a live child or a dead one.
"However, if she's not mature enough to raise this child, adoption is a wonderful
idea. It may be difficult, but its the only decision both she and her baby can
live with later. Not only that, she'll have fewer psychological problems by giving
the baby up for adoption than if she chooses abortion.
8) There is no real suffering to the fetus during abortion.
"Most abortions are done after 6 weeks. Yet, at 6 weeks, when the face of a developing
baby is touched, it moves its head back. At 11 weeks the fetus will move away from
a needle used for amniocentesis.
9) Abortion helps women.
"I wasn't helping them. Some of them just came back again. It was like aiding an
alcoholic, because they weren't learning anything. Not only that, they experienced
sexual dynfunction in their marriages and ambivalence when they finally had a wanted
pregnancy.
10) If abortion was made illegal, hundreds of thousands of women will die from
back alley butchers.
"Thats one of the reasons I got involved. But in 1972, the year before it was made
legal, the centers for disease control reported fewer than 50 women died from abortion.
Additionally, the technique has since been refined over the years, especially
suction abortions, removing much of the earlier risk, and more effective
antibiotics have been developed.
11) If you don't want this baby, you shouldn't have it, because unwanted children
are more likly to be abused.
"Since when does anybody's right to live depend on whether or not they're wanted?
The second part of this statement is false also. Child abuse has escalated, not
diminished, since abortion became legal. When you devalue or dehumanize any
segment of the population, your society becomes less humane. This was proven in
Nazi Germany during the holocost, and the USA during slavery.
12) Abortion is sometimes the most compassionate and responsible choice.
"Why, in your circumstances, is an abortion better, more right, more moral, more
correct than giving the child up for adoption? Why for you, and why for your child?
It's not, and it never was.
"Before I go, let me get really personal. If your considering abortion, I think
I know the real reason. Your afraid: afraid you will be abandoned by the significant
people in your life if you continue this pregnancy. Your boyfriend has threatened
to leave or your parents have threatened to kick you out. Your friends will ostracize
you. Maybe you think you won't have enough money to raise a child, that you'll
lose your job or mess up your career.
"But you don't have to give in to fear. You can make important decisions out of
courage! Have the courage to continue this relationship with your child. Have the
courage to face your responsibilties straight on, and get connected with people who
will support you throughout this pregnancy.
"I'm convinced that every child conceived is precious to God. It took God's special
creative presence to bring this child into being, and it's existence is part of
His plan, even children of rape and incest. And children are a blessing. If you
honor God by letting this little one come to birth, God will honor you and
enrich your life."
Beverly A Mcmillian, MD.
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