"Ericaaa... Like, how do you tell if the bananas are good?"
-overheard in the dining hall
"It's not that I'm shallow, it's just that I'm not hung up on things like personality."
-overheard on campus
"Let me tell you something... the man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck. And the neck can turn the head any way it wants."
-My Big Fat Greek Wedding
"I hate Mother Teresa and Dr. Ruth. I want them to fight to the death in the Collisseum... with chains and nuclear-fueled revolving dildos!!"
-Laughing Wild
"When I think of all the people I've come upon in my travels, I have to think of the people who have come upon me."
-Hedwig and the Angry Inch
"When it comes to huge openings, a lot of people think of me."
-Hedwig and the Angry Inch
"After my divorce from Luther I scraped by with baby-sitting gigs and odd jobs - mostly the jobs we call blow."
-Hedwig and the Angry Inch
"Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from a friend's forehead."
-Chinese proverb
"Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand."
-Unknown
"When walking through a melon patch, don't adjust your sandals."
-Chinese proverb
"Earth is the insane asylum for the universe."
-Unknown
"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
-Unknown
"If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic."
-Unknown
"Give pizza chants"
-Bumper sticker
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs."
-Unknown
"It's like, the other guy might have the peanut butter and jelly, but you are the one with the chocolate chip cookies. There's a balance there."
-Unknown
"We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are."
-The Talmud